"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Being a couple but living apart in separate homes

jhonny9546

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What are the real reasons a couple feels the need to live apart?
(Staying married but living in separate places/houses and seeing each other only for commitments or to spend time together.)

There's a lot of nonsense online, but many people says it saved their relationship.
What are the real reasons a couple would do this? You need to have ironclad trust in your partner. Will it work?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Jor-El

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I think you get all the best bits and none of the bad....wouldnt work for everyone,but,nice to have your own space as well. best of both worlds
 

Manure Spherian

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What are the real reasons a couple feels the need to live apart?
(Staying married but living in separate places/houses and seeing each other only for commitments or to spend time together.)

There's a lot of nonsense online, but many people says it saved their relationship.
What are the real reasons a couple would do this? You need to have ironclad trust in your partner. Will it work?
Have a father out of a home. Great idea and model of marriage for the kids!
 

The Duke

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Maybe they feel it's more like dating and easier to keep the spark alive. Perhaps they don't get so complacent and things stay more exciting. I could see how it would work for the right folks.

I would probably be a good candidate. I appreciate my alone time so I can get done what I need to do on my terms. It recharges me and allows me to feel like I have freedom and I need more than the average person.. Time spent together feels so much more important.

It's obvious living together doesn't work for a lot of people either.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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MatureDJ

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I know a couple like this. The husband has a teenage child and he gets her week-on, week-off. The wife keeps her place and lives with him when the child isn't. Presumably when the child is finished high school, they will get a new house together (he is much more wealthy than her).
 

BaronOfHair

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It's obvious living together doesn't work for a lot of people either.
Yeah, even Esther Perel counsels that couples NOT go overboard on how much time they hang around one another, and to keep things light and fun whenever they are in the vicinity of each other

Men and women prior to The Industrial Evolution DIDN'T spend much time around one another... That almost certainly trimmed down the sort of melodrama that's now rampant in so many homes throughout The Post-Industrial West. Keeping Up With The Kardashians wouldn't have remained a mainstay of popular culture for over 2 f-cking decades, if so many every day folks didn't see their own lives reflected in that crud, albeit in a more glitzy fashion
 
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jhonny9546

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The reason is because you actually aren't a good fit for each other but want to gaslight yourself into believing you are.
Okay! So this assumes it's normal for two people to sleep in the same bed every day?

Just a genuine question.
Maybe they feel it's more like dating and easier to keep the spark alive. Perhaps they don't get so complacent and things stay more exciting. I could see how it would work for the right folks.

I would probably be a good candidate. I appreciate my alone time so I can get done what I need to do on my terms. It recharges me and allows me to feel like I have freedom and I need more than the average person.. Time spent together feels so much more important.

It's obvious living together doesn't work for a lot of people either.
Currently, I have to see and think like you.
It's always honeymoon phase
 
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