"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Being a couple but living apart in separate homes

jhonny9546

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What are the real reasons a couple feels the need to live apart?
(Staying married but living in separate places/houses and seeing each other only for commitments or to spend time together.)

There's a lot of nonsense online, but many people says it saved their relationship.
What are the real reasons a couple would do this? You need to have ironclad trust in your partner. Will it work?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Jor-El

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I think you get all the best bits and none of the bad....wouldnt work for everyone,but,nice to have your own space as well. best of both worlds
 

Manure Spherian

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What are the real reasons a couple feels the need to live apart?
(Staying married but living in separate places/houses and seeing each other only for commitments or to spend time together.)

There's a lot of nonsense online, but many people says it saved their relationship.
What are the real reasons a couple would do this? You need to have ironclad trust in your partner. Will it work?
Have a father out of a home. Great idea and model of marriage for the kids!
 

The Duke

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Maybe they feel it's more like dating and easier to keep the spark alive. Perhaps they don't get so complacent and things stay more exciting. I could see how it would work for the right folks.

I would probably be a good candidate. I appreciate my alone time so I can get done what I need to do on my terms. It recharges me and allows me to feel like I have freedom and I need more than the average person.. Time spent together feels so much more important.

It's obvious living together doesn't work for a lot of people either.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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MatureDJ

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I know a couple like this. The husband has a teenage child and he gets her week-on, week-off. The wife keeps her place and lives with him when the child isn't. Presumably when the child is finished high school, they will get a new house together (he is much more wealthy than her).
 

BaronOfHair

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It's obvious living together doesn't work for a lot of people either.
Yeah, even Esther Perel counsels that couples NOT go overboard on how much time they hang around one another, and to keep things light and fun whenever they are in the vicinity of each other

Men and women prior to The Industrial Evolution DIDN'T spend much time around one another... That almost certainly trimmed down the sort of melodrama that's now rampant in so many homes throughout The Post-Industrial West. Keeping Up With The Kardashians wouldn't have remained a mainstay of popular culture for over 2 f-cking decades, if so many every day folks didn't see their own lives reflected in that crud, albeit in a more glitzy fashion
 
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jhonny9546

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The reason is because you actually aren't a good fit for each other but want to gaslight yourself into believing you are.
Okay! So this assumes it's normal for two people to sleep in the same bed every day?

Just a genuine question.
Maybe they feel it's more like dating and easier to keep the spark alive. Perhaps they don't get so complacent and things stay more exciting. I could see how it would work for the right folks.

I would probably be a good candidate. I appreciate my alone time so I can get done what I need to do on my terms. It recharges me and allows me to feel like I have freedom and I need more than the average person.. Time spent together feels so much more important.

It's obvious living together doesn't work for a lot of people either.
Currently, I have to see and think like you.
It's always honeymoon phase
 
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