Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
AfRoSwiss-Disiac said:
Yea man you need to fix your profile to what YOU expect not what THEY expect. I like how you have your profile on private. But sometimes this is good sometimes bad. You may need to be the one browsing for females instead of them looking for you. And suit your profile to what you look for. You like to have fun? post pics of you hangin out with the boys and having funBlackmm said:
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
So true. An aside; there seems to be an societal issue with women who have biracial children being able to be accepted by men of their own culture after breaking up with the child's father. It also seems as if the women set the race of the child as the foremost qualifier for their perspective partners. Don't mean for this to become a thread about race, just giving some insight.AfRoSwiss-Disiac said:
Francisco d'Anconia said:
LOL lowerd herself? wow if america stilll thinks this then america is ****ed upKarmaSutra said:
Well said 'Cisco. Don't worry though, someone will turn this into a racial issue.
It seems to me that women who have bi-racial children who return to the market are desired by neither race. It's as if she has "lowered herself" in either eyes of the men she's trying to gain attention.
Yea but who would want to date a narrow minded women anywase? who expects "since i have a biracial child all black men will want me? NOTFrancisco d'Anconia said:
Sad, but I can see that happening. It goes to question if it's about the guy's principles or his ego. Is it that he wouldn't want to raise another man's child or a specific man's child. Then of course, how he now views the woman. Is she a a single mother who didn't have a solid relationship or is she a woman who crossed over and doesn't deserve crossing back.KarmaSutra said:
Well said 'Cisco. Don't worry though, someone will turn this into a racial issue.
It seems to me that women who have bi-racial children who return to the market are desired by neither race. It's as if she has "lowered herself" in either eyes of the men she's trying to gain attention.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I'm right with you on that. People typically gravitate to what they are accustomed to which tend to be social stereotypes.AfRoSwiss-Disiac said:
