"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Ass Grooming Tips

DJ Logic

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OK guys I know the title is funny but I'm dead serious. More than one girl has complained about the amount of hair on my ass. (I have a lot of body hair but for some reason its unusually "busy" around there).

Tried shaving - BOY was that a mistake! Tried waxing too. Never. Doing. That. Again :(

Not to get too graphic, but a great deal of the hair is actually in the the crack. I try to trim it with scissors but that is ****ing tedious.

Any ideas? Serious inquiries only please (though I suppose I'm an open target at this point... fukkit)
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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zekko

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Apparently Jennifer Lawrence uses an electric razor :rolleyes:
 

Peaks&Valleys

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A buddy of mine said he bends over in front of a mirror, puts his head between his legs, and uses a buzzer. True story. Yeah, this exact question has been brought up before.

Might want to try one of these things: http://www.amazon.com/Magic-Hair-Personal-Trimmer-Gently/dp/B009UWM26Y

Though, I'm in the same boat, hair growing out of my a$$, I just do what the Russian was getting at. However, I did get a little self conscious a while back when a was chick was blowing me and she asked: "can I lick your a$$hole?"

Two schools of thought on this one: Just caveman it, or go the pretty boy route. But why not do both? Nothing wrong with a clean shaven butt hole.
 

taiyuu_otoko

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use the hair melting stuff girls use on their legs. I used it once on my back, worked pretty well. But be careful as it may clog up your pores. Melt all the hairs off once a week or so, and then follow up with some extra powerful skin drying acne cream.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Create Reality

Master Don Juan
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Use scissors, and do it yourself or pay somebody else to do it.
 

speed dawg

Master Don Juan
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Dude, WTF. DO NOT SHAVE. What are you expecting to be, someone you're completely NOT? Embrace that sh*t, you're just a hairy guy. Do you this guy or this guy gives two sh*ts what the women think of his hair? Just sayin'.

I have a motto. Accentuate your strengths and minimize your weaknesses. Don't try to make your weaknesses into a strength. Just keep your sh*t groomed and be done with it. Work on whatever it is your strengths are.
 

Epimanes

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You could always try one of those NO-NO's .. Apparently every time you use it the hair comes back softer and thinner.

*shrugs*
 

DJ Logic

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LOL, I'm totally gonna braid this. Maybe work on my ass dreads..

Thanks for the laughs guys.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Colossus

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Well if you really wanna throw down big bucks ($2-3k), you can go the laser route. It does work, and it is permanent, but it takes a few treatments over the course of a year.

Other than that there is shaving (big mistake, obviously), trimming with a buzzer, Nair (chemical over-the-counter removal), and waxing.

Or, you could just say f*ck it and let your ass be a man's ass. Just dont ever 69 a girl on top!
 

Special EDy

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Use a trimmer. I trim myself down to a #5 length every month. No girl wants to go down on a jungle. Its really quick and easy, my trimmer is battery powered and waterproof so it takes me like 5 minutes in the shower to do my entire body.
 

Desdinova

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Agreed with the trimmer. Also, make sure you keep your arse clean before she comes over. Wiping with toilet paper isn't enough. Get some non-scented baby wipes to clean up after you 5hit. Women don't like chocolate crunchies on their chin when they're gobbling your salami.
 

mangotot

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No joke. Gay guy and por* stars get their as*holes bleached because it looks better.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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