"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Asking out a girl from a very small bootcamp class. Bad idea?

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starfishandcoffee

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"Very small" as in there are around 12 members, but around six who show up all four days of the week. Me and her are two of the main ones. We've also been talking a *lot* before and after class, and I think she's into me.

The reason I'm hesitant? this is a very small group in an ongoing class that's been meeting since December of last year. This isn't like a cold approach. If it backfires, we'll have to awkwardly avoid talking to each other in a tiny gym room for four days a week for the rest of the year.

Avoid this one?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Uncharted

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No just casually ask her for her phone number. If she says she has a BF or whatever then just say Oh ok thats cool. It won't be weird unless you make it weird. Best case you get her number, worst case she has a BF and you never see her again after this class.

I've been in this type of situation before. Better to have asked and found out she has a BF than not ask and wonder about her for the rest of your life!
 
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visions

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why the hell would a female be in a pick up bootcamp with a bunch of men and and not expect to be hit on? her being there is a signal that all are welcome to apply. go for it.
 
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starfishandcoffee

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visions said:
why the hell would a female be in a pick up bootcamp with a bunch of men and and not expect to be hit on? her being there is a signal that all are welcome to apply. go for it.
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Actually...it's just me and the girls. The men are all in the morning class.

it's like i've died and gone to heaven. (well, counting out the two fatties.)
 
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visions

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starfishandcoffee said:
Actually...it's just me and the girls. The men are all in the morning class.

it's like i've died and gone to heaven. (well, counting out the two fatties.)
Click to expand...

a bootcamp for females? strange. i'm leaning that the women there are dtf.
go for it
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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starfishandcoffee

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visions said:
a bootcamp for females? strange. i'm leaning that the women there are dtf.
go for it
Click to expand...
Yeah...mostly late 20s, early 30s crowd. a good portion of them do have "I need a man" written all over them.
 
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Sik

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Starfishandcoffee,

I'm not certain what is going on here.

Is this is a "bootcamp" for those who want to get in to a long term relationship or is this a 24-Hr fitness bootcamp with instructors and some variation of Tae-Bo?

Regardless, you may as well chat her up and see if she's game for a post-workout coffee / smoothie / drink. I know there's a lot of girls I wish I had asked out but didn't. Now I'm a lot more bold, but those missed opportunities...
 
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starfishandcoffee

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Sik said:
Is this is a "bootcamp" for those who want to get in to a long term relationship or is this a 24-Hr fitness bootcamp with instructors and some variation of Tae-Bo?
Click to expand...
A very, very intense workout class - four days a week, mixture of weights, cardio, and whatever crazy stuff my instructors want to inflict on us. I'm surprised we've even had time to talk...half of the time we're all panting like hell.

I'm not nervous about asking her out - I'm getting good at asking girls out lately. I'm nervous about this possibly getting awkward if she says no. It's a very close knit group of people I see four days a week, and girls...well, they talk.

(They've also known each other for about four months...far longer than few weeks I've been in the class.)

I'm probably overthinking this...
 
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Sik

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Ah, I see. This is actually in your favor. Reference: http://www.sosuave.com/articles/at/liketolove.htm

I think you're right in that you're over thinking it. If she has a boyfriend, she'll just say she can't make it to whatever you suggest. The only place I don't ask girls out is where I work. My paycheck is more important that any vagina.

Anyways, ask her out! There won't be any awkwardness, she'll probably be flattered. If anything, the other girls will be wondering why you didn't choose them and then will feel insecure.

When is the next time you're going to this class? I'm going to be following up, Starfish!
 
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starfishandcoffee

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Monday.

(I actually have a followup date with another girl that night. This is gonna be a great summer...)
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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