"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Asking out a girl from a very small bootcamp class. Bad idea?

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starfishandcoffee

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"Very small" as in there are around 12 members, but around six who show up all four days of the week. Me and her are two of the main ones. We've also been talking a *lot* before and after class, and I think she's into me.

The reason I'm hesitant? this is a very small group in an ongoing class that's been meeting since December of last year. This isn't like a cold approach. If it backfires, we'll have to awkwardly avoid talking to each other in a tiny gym room for four days a week for the rest of the year.

Avoid this one?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Uncharted

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No just casually ask her for her phone number. If she says she has a BF or whatever then just say Oh ok thats cool. It won't be weird unless you make it weird. Best case you get her number, worst case she has a BF and you never see her again after this class.

I've been in this type of situation before. Better to have asked and found out she has a BF than not ask and wonder about her for the rest of your life!
 
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visions

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why the hell would a female be in a pick up bootcamp with a bunch of men and and not expect to be hit on? her being there is a signal that all are welcome to apply. go for it.
 
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starfishandcoffee

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visions said:
why the hell would a female be in a pick up bootcamp with a bunch of men and and not expect to be hit on? her being there is a signal that all are welcome to apply. go for it.
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Actually...it's just me and the girls. The men are all in the morning class.

it's like i've died and gone to heaven. (well, counting out the two fatties.)
 
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visions

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starfishandcoffee said:
Actually...it's just me and the girls. The men are all in the morning class.

it's like i've died and gone to heaven. (well, counting out the two fatties.)
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a bootcamp for females? strange. i'm leaning that the women there are dtf.
go for it
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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starfishandcoffee

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visions said:
a bootcamp for females? strange. i'm leaning that the women there are dtf.
go for it
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Yeah...mostly late 20s, early 30s crowd. a good portion of them do have "I need a man" written all over them.
 
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Sik

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Starfishandcoffee,

I'm not certain what is going on here.

Is this is a "bootcamp" for those who want to get in to a long term relationship or is this a 24-Hr fitness bootcamp with instructors and some variation of Tae-Bo?

Regardless, you may as well chat her up and see if she's game for a post-workout coffee / smoothie / drink. I know there's a lot of girls I wish I had asked out but didn't. Now I'm a lot more bold, but those missed opportunities...
 
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starfishandcoffee

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Sik said:
Is this is a "bootcamp" for those who want to get in to a long term relationship or is this a 24-Hr fitness bootcamp with instructors and some variation of Tae-Bo?
Click to expand...
A very, very intense workout class - four days a week, mixture of weights, cardio, and whatever crazy stuff my instructors want to inflict on us. I'm surprised we've even had time to talk...half of the time we're all panting like hell.

I'm not nervous about asking her out - I'm getting good at asking girls out lately. I'm nervous about this possibly getting awkward if she says no. It's a very close knit group of people I see four days a week, and girls...well, they talk.

(They've also known each other for about four months...far longer than few weeks I've been in the class.)

I'm probably overthinking this...
 
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Sik

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Ah, I see. This is actually in your favor. Reference: http://www.sosuave.com/articles/at/liketolove.htm

I think you're right in that you're over thinking it. If she has a boyfriend, she'll just say she can't make it to whatever you suggest. The only place I don't ask girls out is where I work. My paycheck is more important that any vagina.

Anyways, ask her out! There won't be any awkwardness, she'll probably be flattered. If anything, the other girls will be wondering why you didn't choose them and then will feel insecure.

When is the next time you're going to this class? I'm going to be following up, Starfish!
 
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starfishandcoffee

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Monday.

(I actually have a followup date with another girl that night. This is gonna be a great summer...)
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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