"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Asking her out afterbshe flaked 1st time

Prodoge

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Last week I asked a girl out and she agreed right away, got logistics sorted out, done deal.

The following day (day of date) she messaged me saying she can't make it because she got asked to go to a meeting after work. She can have the benefit of the doubt on that one.

At this point I'm not sure should I go NC or try to arrange another date this week ?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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kenpiffyjr

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Early oneitis.

Go find other girls. When u have another plate spinning with a girl you're having fun with, then message this girl to see if she wants to meet up with you somewhere.
 

OJN_98

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Technically, at least to me, she didn't flake on you. When I think of the term flake I think of it as leaving the person you set a time/place with hanging without explanation.

But given that you gave her the benefit of the doubt, it's okay to try again. Had she left you hanging, then no second chances.
 

cola

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Don't reach out for a week. If she doesn't contact you in that week that's a bad sign, but you still can make one more attempt ..

If she gives you an excuse after that, delete her number and move on.
 

lizardking82

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Other guys said it, but to reinforce their line of thinking: you try again in a couple days time with another invitation. Be direct and have a date and time ready. If she flakes, don't make another thread asking "she flaked for the second time, what should I do?", but delete the number and move on.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Krueg

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3 Options..

1. Try one more time, if you really like her.
2. You already asked, she was "busy". You could wait for her to reach out to you.
3. Ignore..
 

Plums

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Last week I asked a girl out and she agreed right away, got logistics sorted out, done deal.

The following day (day of date) she messaged me saying she can't make it because she got asked to go to a meeting after work. She can have the benefit of the doubt on that one.

At this point I'm not sure should I go NC or try to arrange another date this week ?
What do you want to do? Think on that and then do it.
 

OJN_98

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If she flakes with no explanation or attempt to reschedule, it's because YOU weren't good enough for her.

It's that simple.

Focus on your own well-being and stop trying to find a silver bullet technique to make women want you more.

And for goodness sake, don't buy into the SS message board myth that going NC on her is going to fix everything.
To the point, I like it.
 

EyeBRollin

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Flaking is completely unacceptable.

Do not ask this woman out again. Delete her number out of your phone. How many women have you flaked on in your life? My guess is not many... only the ones you didn't like. If a woman flakes, it is because she has low interest. Don't waste any more time or money on this self-serving *****.

OP, you should be mad. Mad as hell. Flaking is disrespectful. Asking any woman out again after a flake lets her know the behavior is permitted. **** that.

There are only two scenarios we accept broken dates:

A) She counter-offers
B) You haven't met her yet (you set the date up through online dating)

In the case of B, wait a week or so and try once more.
 

Thorninmyside

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"she got asked to go to a meeting after work"

Have you ruled out "hot guy asked her out for drinks that day" as a possibility for the cancellation? Sounds like LI to me.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Prodoge

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I'd go NC until THURS 05/08 then text "hi."
You mean 5th august ?

I see a problem here because we have quite a few friends in common and I will see her between now and then, probably even multiple times.
 

Glassguy

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No and no
Why would you waste the effort to even send her a "hey" text? She flaked on you and unless you are an emotionless human being it didnt exactly make you happy.

Why allow her to do it again?

Just be silent. Do not contact her in any way. She has your number and its her job at this point to reach out.
 

dustmuffin

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Don't reach out for a week. If she doesn't contact you in that week that's a bad sign, but you still can make one more attempt ..

If she gives you an excuse after that, delete her number and move on.
This is the correct answer.
 

EyeBRollin

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It doesn't matter if she accepts a future date with you. Her interest level (lack of) was made clear already. You will always be nothing to her, or her second option. Women that like you don't flake.

OP, do not try again. Forget this girl. She's history.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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