"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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asking a girl if she's still in contact with her ex

Fela Kuti

Senior Don Juan
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Hello,

Is it ever OK to ask whether a girl you're dating is still in contact with her ex? Say, they broke up only a few months ago and you want to make sure she has completely severed the ties and recovered from the breakup.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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GS750

Master Don Juan
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I don't think I'd ask...trust your gut and pay attention. If she is still in regular contact with him, then you know you can't take her seriously.
 

dustmuffin

Master Don Juan
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Don't ask, Don't get attached and just have fun. If something comes up next her.
 

OlympicTim

Don Juan
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Why does it matter? If shes into you it won't matter if she still talks to her ex.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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pyros

Master Don Juan
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I say its ok to ask.

If she is in contact she will eventually tell you or you will get the feeling anyway.
 
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