Asked my boss out

[RicBoy]

you said that you were flirting in the office . That was the warming up and yoj should have soft close and hard close her

not via a text message directly hard closing her

yeah I could have said that in the office, but honestly im scared...I was fired before because of this type of thing.

Course of action now around her? There's gonna be office party in 2 weeks.

Why would u think she removed me from Facebook then sent me a message saying, she appreciated my courage for asking her out but she is in a happy relationship and no hard feelings between us
I still dont get it why she removed me from Facebook, we work together and I didn't do anything disrespectful

 

[BackInTheGame78]

as per OP question , he wants to bang his boss not asking if it is ok to bang your boss

if we would think mainly about risks , no one would bang women . Risk of being arrested , risk of getting and STD , risk of an angry ex , risk of , risk of etc etc

if he will be fired because of banging his boss then it will be a lesson learned . He is young , most likely his job is not that serious to begin or well paid . He can easily find another job , maybe even better paid

if you want to help him out , then try to give him some advice on how to actually bang his boss . The lessons after is his to be learned . This is how you learn , by also doing dumb stuff from time to time

You obviously don't live in the US. Good luck trying to find a new job with a sexual harassment case on your record. Maybe he can get a job at McDonalds or as a janitor somewhere.

 

[Bigpapa]

You obviously don't live in the US. Good luck trying to find a new job with a sexual harassment case on your record.

you can be accused of sexual harassment by any woman . This means that you start masturbating , because banging woman is dangerous ?

if a woman does this there are 3 main reasons :

1. she is crazy - do not spend time with crazy people
2. You were very weird - nothing to say about this
3. Revenge - do not hurt women and lead them on

 

[RicBoy]

you can be accused of sexual harassment by any woman . This means that you start masturbating , because banging woman is dangerous ?

remember this woman is my direct supervisor.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

you can be accused of sexual harassment by any woman . This means that you start masturbating , because banging woman is dangerous ?

Clearly not the same as when you ACTUALLY did it and they have proof. Don't be ridiculous with this redirect bullsh!t and hypotheticals.

We are not talking hypothetical, we are talking something he has already done and left proof.

 

[Bigpapa]

remember this woman is my direct supervisor.

then like everyone here said , do not bang your coworkers if you are afraid of being fired

 

[Bigpapa]

Clearly not the same as when you ACTUALLY did it and they have proof. Don't be ridiculous with this redirect bullsh!t and hypotheticals.

We are not talking hypothetical, we are talking something he has already done and left proof.

if you are socially calibrated there is no proof of any sexual harassment

if you are not calibrated then yes , do not do it till you do not learn how to be calibrated

 

[RicBoy]

Clearly not the same as when you ACTUALLY did it and they have proof. Don't be ridiculous with this redirect bullsh!t and hypotheticals.

We are not talking hypothetical, we are talking something he has already done and left proof.

Hei. I appreciate your courage! But im in a happy relationship even though im divorced doesn’t mean i don’t have a partner! No hard feelings

thats her message, I just replied good luck. Should I add anything or explains anything more?

How to act from now on around her ignore? I still have some hope lol

 

[BackInTheGame78]

if you are socially calibrated there is no proof of any sexual harassment

if you are not calibrated then yes , do not do it till you do not learn how to be calibrated

When you message someone on Facebook there always will be proof.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Hei. I appreciate your courage! But im in a happy relationship even though im divorced doesn’t mean i don’t have a partner! No hard feelings

thats her message, I just replied good luck. Should I add anything or explains anything more?

How to act from now on around her ignore? I still have some hope lol

Be happy she hasn't taken this to HR and move on. Anything further and you are really really playing with fire because she already told you no. Now anything else you do past that becomes an open and shut case of sexual harassment and you will 100% be fired if she brings this up to HR

 

[RicBoy]

Be happy she hasn't taken this to HR and move on. Anything further and you are really really playing with fire because she already told you no. Now anything else you do past that becomes an open and shut case of sexual harassment and you will 100% be fired if she brings this up to HR

She just sent me a msg saying thanks. Women are nuts. I said good luck like very dry she says thanks. If I had sent smiles and all nice stuff I bet she wouldn’t have replied

 

[Bigpapa]

When you message someone on Facebook there always will be proof.

so you are saying that having a light discussion on fb or sending a message to go out for a drink is proof for sexual harassment ?

better not talk with women , to be sure that you will not be accused of sexual harassment

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I love people that do this shvt and then come back months or a year later asking for help and saying ALL WOMEN ARE BAD and MGTOW. This is why nobody takes Men's pity stories seriously because the shvt yall get in to was easily preventable from the stuff.

 

[MtmVaott]

Hei. I appreciate your courage! But im in a happy relationship even though im divorced doesn’t mean i don’t have a partner! No hard feelings

thats her message, I just replied good luck. Should I add anything or explains anything more?

How to act from now on around her ignore? I still have some hope lol

This closes the door 100%. If she would have any interest left, she wouldn't have used the term "happy relationship".
She basically told you: Hey. It was nice you are interested in me, but now it is getting very uncomfortable. I decided for someone else and that worked out, and I have no further interest in you whatsoever. I hope this doesn't effect our work relationship in a bad way though.

 

[RicBoy]

This closes the door 100%. If she would have any interest left, she wouldn't have used the term "happy relationship".
She basically told you: Hey. It was nice you are interested in me, but now it is getting very uncomfortable. I decided for someone else and that worked out, and I have no further interest in you whatsoever. I hope this doesn't effect our work relationship in a bad way though.

I work with her and I’ll see her few times a week here and there. Maybe she comes around if I remove my attention for her. She is 43, 3 kids and a grandkid I seriously doubt she has many guys after having said that she is drop dead gorgeous

 

[BackInTheGame78]

so you are saying that having a light discussion on fb or sending a message to go out for a drink is proof for sexual harassment ?

better not talk with women , to be sure that you will not be accused of sexual harassment

If it is unwanted then yeah, it can be used as proof.

You seem to lack basic understanding that I am talking about a workplace environment and ONLY a workplace environment.

Your responses of "don't talk to women then" are confusing as there are myriad opportunities to do that OUTSIDE of work where what I am saying doesn't apply.

Context bro, context.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

She just sent me a msg saying thanks. Women are nuts. I said good luck like very dry she says thanks. If I had sent smiles and all nice stuff I bet she wouldn’t have replied

She knows she has all the power in this interaction and you have at this point negative power.

She is your boss.

You asked her out and she rejected you so not only does she know you want her, she also knows anything further will be an easy sexual harassment claim.

You are driving yourself crazy thinking about this while she hasn't given this another thought at all, nor talked about it to anyone else other than to maybe bring up to her girlfriends so they can laugh at it.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

you can be accused of sexual harassment by any woman . This means that you start masturbating , because banging woman is dangerous ?

if a woman does this there are 3 main reasons :

1. she is crazy - do not spend time with crazy people
2. You were very weird - nothing to say about this
3. Revenge - do not hurt women and lead them on

No you can't. By definition it's employment related. Where do you make up this information from? You don't even live in the US so how are you telling me how Federal Labor Law works?

The number one reason by FAR more than anything you said is she can get paid a LOT of money by suing the company and then continue working there because anything they do after that will be looked at very closely as a retaliatory action by them, which they will go out of their way NOT to do or else they will get sued again and lose again.

 

[Bigpapa]

If it is unwanted then yeah, it can be used as proof.

You seem to lack basic understanding that I am talking about a workplace environment and ONLY a workplace environment.

Your responses of "don't talk to women then" are confusing as there are myriad opportunities to do that OUTSIDE of work where what I am saying doesn't apply.

Context bro, context.

dunno man , I live in Europe . Never heard in my life about a guy being accused of sexual harassment without being weird or using his position of power ( usually a manager or similar ) to gain sexual favors

most guys after university hook up at the workplace or in places connected with the workspace . I really doubt that in America is different

And Europe I think is way more socialist than the US is

 

[RicBoy]

She knows she has all the power in this interaction and you have at this point negative power.

She is your boss.

You asked her out and she rejected you so not only does she know you want her, she also knows anything further will be an easy sexual harassment claim.

You are driving yourself crazy thinking about this while she hasn't given this another thought at all, nor talked about it to anyone else other than to maybe bring up to her girlfriends so they can laugh at it.

Any chance to turn this around if I give her space or kinda ignore her presence when I see her etc?