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Are you in love or just high on chemicals in your brain? Answer: Yes

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oldmanofthesea

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Sufficient experience will prevent those chemicals from flooding your brain. It can be a little sobering (pun intended) when it finally happens because it’s like finding out the Easter bunny isn’t real. But it leads to much more happiness and acceptance of what girls can and can’t do for you.
 

RangerMIke

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Sufficient experience will prevent those chemicals from flooding your brain. It can be a little sobering (pun intended) when it finally happens because it’s like finding out the Easter bunny isn’t real. But it leads to much more happiness and acceptance of what girls can and can’t do for you.
Yep... it's all about maintaining emotional self control.

I hate using fiction as an example, but there was a sci fi book written decades ago called "Dune" and there was a passage in that book where a witch cult (best way I can describe it) tested the protagonist with a pain box. He stuck his hand in the box and he experienced great pain like burning... if he pulled his hand out he would die. It was a test to see if he could control his fear. He passed, and he was declared a 'human being". The difference between being a 'human' and an animal is our ability to rationally evaluate a situation and ignore animal instinct driven by emotion.

Real men do not allow emotion to lead them around by the nose. It's easy to surrender to pizza and beer, and not spend time enduring the pain of working out and eating healthy food. It's easy to let 'love' get in the way of rational decision making... it's more than just discipline, it's realizing that emotion is a biological evolutionary tool that helped us survive before sentiance. This is why we don't just drop our pants and relieve ourselves in the street, it's why we don't just grab food when we see it when we a hungary... it's why we get up to work rather than just stay in bed when we are tired.

We know this intuitively, but for some reason... when it comes to relationships with chicks... men just lose their sh!t and forget rational thought. This is why chicks test you... they are testing to see if you a MALE human being, or a MALE human animal.

Show me a man that is fat and overweight, stuck in a dead end miserable job, sitting in front of TV or gaming console, married to a fat @ss woman that nags the cr@p out of him and I will show you a man that has no emotional self control. They won't leave situations like this because of fear... instead they stick this out until the woman gets fed up with living with a weak 'animal' and she does what he doesn't have the balls to do, which is endure the pain of pulling the trigger.
 

Serenity

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Infatuation is often mistaken as love, but it is not the same. Infatuation is a selfish desire to be with someone, that's the rush of chemicals. Love is deeper, more meaningful and includes genuinely wanting the best for the other person.

The reason people make really dumb relationship decisions is indeed infatuation, they so strongly desire the other person that they literally become blind to the flaws. Only way to prevent it is to be acutely aware of how your brain has a strong confirmation bias when this ****tail of hormones gets pumped around, and then force yourself to evaluate it critically.
 

stormrider

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Infatuation is often mistaken as love, but it is not the same. Infatuation is a selfish desire to be with someone, that's the rush of chemicals. Love is deeper, more meaningful and includes genuinely wanting the best for the other person.

The reason people make really dumb relationship decisions is indeed infatuation, they so strongly desire the other person that they literally become blind to the flaws. Only way to prevent it is to be acutely aware of how your brain has a strong confirmation bias when this ****tail of hormones gets pumped around, and then force yourself to evaluate it critically.
When you are self fulfilled, you come into a relationship with a giving attitude. Two self fulfilled people with giving attitudes = healthy relationship.

Most relationships are actually between two needy and neurotic people projecting their neurosis on to each other and trying to self seek in one another. This is what they call “romance.”

Someone started a thread about how you can’t find what you want, and it comes to you when you are not looking. This is true.

Anyone with enough experience knows that you attract what you are. A guy who isn’t looking and happy with his life will simply attract more abundance.

The counter argument is “well if i don’t look and I don’t try, then nothing is going to happen.”

IMO there is nothing wrong with being proactive.

However, you need to have your fundamentals down. You need to have your career in order, physical fitness down pat, some semblance of a social life, and at least ONE cool hobby. Just something. Anything.

You can’t be an empty vessel desperately looking for chicks to fulfill you. That’s not a fair burden to put on women. They are not your mom.

If you are needy and aren’t providing any value or fun, they will ghost. And it’s nothing personal either. It’s just common sense.

This sounds simple enough but this forum is full of guys chasing from a glass half empty expecting different results. With this approach, the only thing you will find is another needy and neurotic person. Hence all the BPD threads.

Glassguy was right. Somehow men have become women chasing after the magic dragon called romance while having nothing else going on in their lives.
 
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Serenity

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@stormrider Exactly! I don't find anything wrong with being proactive either, but many guys put way too much effort into it and it means too much to them. They're too invested in it and let it drive a large portion of their decision making process.

The correct way to be proactive about it is to enjoy activities not solely for the purpose of meeting women, but where women are present. Take going to a bar as an example, there's the guys who only have one goal for the night, to find a chick. Then there's the guys who go out for the fun of it, wouldn't turn down if an opportunity arises, but still ends up having a good night if it doesn't. Like they're out and just happen to see someone that interests them, walk up to have a chat, but doesn't act weird because they know that regardless of outcome it will be a good night. That's what "not trying" means, but I think many take it too literally and end up sitting in a corner just waiting to be approached, but they fail just as much because their primary goal is to be approached, not to have fun.

The needy has women as a huge goal, me and you has it as a side goal. Not depending on it, but not avoiding it either.
 

soulforge

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Yep... it's all about maintaining emotional self control.

I hate using fiction as an example, but there was a sci fi book written decades ago called "Dune" and there was a passage in that book where a witch cult (best way I can describe it) tested the protagonist with a pain box. He stuck his hand in the box and he experienced great pain like burning... if he pulled his hand out he would die. It was a test to see if he could control his fear. He passed, and he was declared a 'human being". The difference between being a 'human' and an animal is our ability to rationally evaluate a situation and ignore animal instinct driven by emotion.

Real men do not allow emotion to lead them around by the nose. It's easy to surrender to pizza and beer, and not spend time enduring the pain of working out and eating healthy food. It's easy to let 'love' get in the way of rational decision making... it's more than just discipline, it's realizing that emotion is a biological evolutionary tool that helped us survive before sentiance. This is why we don't just drop our pants and relieve ourselves in the street, it's why we don't just grab food when we see it when we a hungary... it's why we get up to work rather than just stay in bed when we are tired.

We know this intuitively, but for some reason... when it comes to relationships with chicks... men just lose their sh!t and forget rational thought. This is why chicks test you... they are testing to see if you a MALE human being, or a MALE human animal.

Show me a man that is fat and overweight, stuck in a dead end miserable job, sitting in front of TV or gaming console, married to a fat @ss woman that nags the cr@p out of him and I will show you a man that has no emotional self control. They won't leave situations like this because of fear... instead they stick this out until the woman gets fed up with living with a weak 'animal' and she does what he doesn't have the balls to do, which is endure the pain of pulling the trigger.

I have seen this recently with a former work colleague.

This dude was FAT.. Lacked motivation.. Complete computer and games consoles nerd.

Didn't make any improvements in his life. However he was VERY comfortable in his relationship.

This woman he MARRIED was also fukin fat and lazy.

I warned him one time, not to depend too heavily on relationships, and I tried to motivate him to lose weight and become fit and healthy and more active.

Dude totally ignored me.. Infact resented me for trying to wake him up.

The last I heard from him.. He is going through a DIVORCE the woman he married dropped him, and he is looking for somewhere to live.

His was woman at best was a 5/10
 

MrWood

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Texting a future plate, she is falling hard for me it seems...

her: "after we talked I felt something in my whole body, in my mind, it was very good... how to put it in words? probably this happens from drugs"

love, chemicals, drugs.. its all the same (basically)
 
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RangerMIke

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I have seen this recently with a former work colleague.

This dude was FAT.. Lacked motivation.. Complete computer and games consoles nerd.

Didn't make any improvements in his life. However he was VERY comfortable in his relationship.

This woman he MARRIED was also fukin fat and lazy.

I warned him one time, not to depend too heavily on relationships, and I tried to motivate him to lose weight and become fit and healthy and more active.

Dude totally ignored me.. Infact resented me for trying to wake him up.

The last I heard from him.. He is going through a DIVORCE the woman he married dropped him, and he is looking for somewhere to live.

His was woman at best was a 5/10
Yea... I'm that last person in the world you want to come to for relationship advice, but I will say that if you as a man want a relationship to work you have to keep busting your @ss, and be very aware when your woman is losing interest. Increased nagging is the biggest indicator... unfortunately what too many men do when their chick starts nagging them is to surrender to it. Then you just become a miserable shell of what you used to be... and this just accerates her declining interest. The phase "Happy wife: happy life." is the biggest BS statement every imagined. You can never make a woman completely happy so it is pointless to try... because a woman in a relationship will continue to move the line until such time that she doesn't think she can do better then you... at that point she just gets fat... on top of her nagging.

You can stop all this by continuing to be the best version of yourself possible and demanding reciprocation, and be willing to walk away when you aren't getting what you want.
 
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