Are women's cruel standards reciprocal revenge for men's cruel standards for Beauty?

[SpartanWarrior77]

I wonder if on some level, women judge men on their height, social status, income etc. in a kind of cruel manner because on some level, it's a type of revenge for us judging them cruelly based on looks + other purely biological fertility markers. Each woman probably goes through a traumatic phase/awakening early on in life, probably during childhood where it dawns on them the difference in terms of treatment that beautiful women get compared to uglier women, and how cruel that must be for their fellow sisters who they get along with, who they love. So it's kind of a reciprocal cruelty.

There are even interesting studies that show individuals who are the most aggressive are also the most sensitive. So in theory, the women that were traumatized the most by external cruel treatment, developed very harsh standards as a kind of reciprocal revenge almost. Of course all this happens subconsciously. We are biological creatures and we respond in all kinds of ways to trauma to the organism.

The underlying premise of what I'm trying to say is that, and this is getting a bit philosophical but deep down she is a little girl that just wants to be loved and who has a big reservoir of love, that's her first layer you could say. But then layered on top is her cruel shell/defense mechanisms which manifest as ruthless standards for men because she realizes the ruthless standards that we have for women.

Obviously, they have different evolutionary pressures and so on blah blah blah.

If you could see things from this perspective, one of the things I could see it doing for you is helping you snap out of hatred for women, we all have it sometimes, sometimes I feel like women are these dark creatures with malevolent intent and for sure there are some. However, you take it a lot less personally once you realize that underneath all that, there is someone vulnerable, wanting love, but ultimately they developed these mechanisms.

It's hard to kind of describe what I'm saying/articulate but there is a legitimate change in how you treat women once you realize this kind of stuff.

And of course I'm not saying it's our fault, I guess I'm trying to create space for a kind of red Pill compassion...

 

[plumber]

that's a little confusing... are you telling that women are not evil; yes they are not evil.

both men and women are doing things to get what they want. the idea is getting what we want will make us happy. we all want to be happy.

admitting and accepting what we want is difficult when it conflicts with approval.

i don't think women punish men by having higher standards. others usually don't care what others feel. they just focus on what they want. the women want those higher standards. just as men want better (whatever better means).

they want the hot men... we want the hot women.

you don't want to punish the ugly woman, you just want them out of the way.... its the same for what she wants.

manipulation is alive and well and used all to often by both men and women. its what makes us human.....

when you tell that they just want love, your right. love from a "hot" man.

your right, don't hate women or men, but do understand.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

that's a little confusing... are you telling that women are not evil; yes they are not evil.

both men and women are doing things to get what they want. the idea is getting what we want will make us happy. we all want to be happy.

admitting and accepting what we want is difficult when it conflicts with approval.

i don't think women punish men by having higher standards. others usually don't care what others feel. they just focus on what they want. the women want those higher standards. just as men want better (whatever better means).

they want the hot men... we want the hot women.

you don't want to punish the ugly woman, you just want them out of the way.... its the same for what she wants.

manipulation is alive and well and used all to often by both men and women. its what makes us human.....

when you tell that they just want love, your right. love from a "hot" man.

your right, don't hate women or men, but do understand.

Thanks for the reply. Yeah, I don't know it was a spur of the moment post that I read out loud/dictated, maybe I wasn't really saying anything interesting/NEW but I guess getting a deeper understanding of the underlying dynamics on some level.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Nature isn't cruel. It's just nature.

 

[The Duke]

I think most guys hatred for women is because they can't get what they want. And most of that has to do with lack of effort, too high of standards, lack of awareness, lacking social skills, etc.

I'm perfectly fine with women wanting what they want, because I can tell you I am not lowering my standards for what I expect in a woman.

 

[BaronOfHair]

The Deities are perhaps cruel, for designing our species in the manner they did. Spending more than 3 minutes a week groaning over the unfairness of such things is LESS productive than lamenting the impossibility of being unable to jump into The Pacific Ocean with a freshly severed arm, WITHOUT being promptly devourd by a famished pack of Mako sharks

 

[Identikit_Radiohead]

Beauty standards for the sexes Its different though, like comparing apples to oranges.

'Ugly women' are mostly judged on things they can change, like being fat (just diet & exercise), cropping their hair short and dyeing it blue (grow it long, keep it a natural color), tattoos (don't need to), tanning too much and applying too much cosmetics will be ageing the skin (get less sun/wear less makeup + better diet), wearing big stupid glasses (get contacts) looking butch and acting masculine (etiquette traits that can be changed). Those can all be changed with effort.

And, while yes, there's lots of women with ugly/unfortunate faces - they can at least work on their bodies and personality. They'll always be a man for them; tons of men have 0 or low standards. And in an appallingly fat country like America or the UK, a skinny/slim woman with an ugly face will be considered a catch by many men.

A man who is short, bad face, weak jawline, balding, small frame (skeletal mass) is going to suffer immensely and there's not much he can do besides bodybuild and hair transplant + going under the knife for his jaw surgery + betabuxxing. He'll also have to struggle with probably decades of psychological torture through appearance-rejection as all his better looking peers get ahead. He won't be getting laid in High School or in is 20's.

 

[quodlibet]

No one's cruel on purpose. It's just their nature. Nobody's out for revenge.

Just as, you're not cruel for your beauty standards. You're just doing what you're programmed to do.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

I guess what I'm getting at is if men can kind of see past the cruelty of female standards for them, they'll realize an actual way to get to one of these cruel beauty's heart. Is there ANY non-beta way of bypassing the membrane of a cruel woman and awakening in her a more loving response?

My point was that if you can see that at one point, WOMEN were traumatized by men's standards, that might have on some level caused them to rebel with equally difficult standards. It's their defensive mechanism.

Is there a way to soften a women's standards?

 

[Solomon]

I think most guys hatred for women is because they can't get what they want. And most of that has to do with lack of effort, too high of standards, lack of awareness, lacking social skills, etc.

I'm perfectly fine with women wanting what they want, because I can tell you I am not lowering my standards for what I expect in a woman.

I've been reading a lot of Eastern Men (Japanese) posts on X, it's brutal. Guys in their 40s not married, single and barley able to afford living they are just happy to get a meal

You see Western Men (American) and it's women's fault this, women's fault that

What's the difference? The Japanese guys are self-aware enough to understand their faults; anyone who has studied Japanese culture espeically Tokyo, knows it's very materialistic due to the high cost of living. Meanwhile, the western side blames women and feminism for everything on social media in a whiny way but if you were to ask what Western guys bring they say "I got autism"...well ok

 

[tesla8520]

What I can say is that, as far as I’m concerned, women started "hating" me when I stopped being a "nice guy," and some of them "drifted away" precisely because I’ve started growing a backbone and having the balls to speak.

In a way, it’s as if I no longer appeal to women who treat men like doormats.

But I also notice that they can’t help but keep me on their radar.

I can sense something, as if I’ve "discovered" who I really am and who lies behind the mask, and because of that, I’ve been rewarded by no longer being viewed as material for their relationships.

Because they want "blue-pilled" men who let themselves be manipulated by them.

 

[LTG71]

I don’t see it as revenge, it’s just human nature. Both sides want the best they can find within their individual standards. I think in general men are more realistic in their desires. Most men would be happy with an average woman that treats him with respect and is kind. If you can find a hot one that does that, even better. At the same time you’re not going to lower your standards too low and accept some ugly troll because she meets some basic level of social skills.

Women on the other hand seem more superficial and disqualify men immediately based on “Icks” and the simple fact that you are not 6’ foot tall. Women are also a terrible judge of character since they operate on feels rather than logic. They pick guys that are a$$holes rather than genuinely good guys and then proclaim that all men are trash. No, the men you chose were trash.

For the broken ones with the nose rings and blue hair, don’t worry, we wouldn’t bother with you with a borrowed ****. So thank you for self identifying as a train wreck so we don’t have to waste our time finding out.

 

[Mike32ct]

I think the OP’s theory is plausible.

Women have always been attracted to things like height and resources. But only recently, maybe in the last 20 years or less, have they put specific metrics on them e.g. 6 foot, 6 figures, etc.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

What I can say is that, as far as I’m concerned, women started "hating" me when I stopped being a "nice guy," and some of them "drifted away" precisely because I’ve started growing a backbone and having the balls to speak.

In a way, it’s as if I no longer appeal to women who treat men like doormats.

But I also notice that they can’t help but keep me on their radar.

I can sense something, as if I’ve "discovered" who I really am and who lies behind the mask, and because of that, I’ve been rewarded by no longer being viewed as material for their relationships.

Because they want "blue-pilled" men who let themselves be manipulated by them.

Yeah its interesting right? I've come to the conclusion that now that I take less ****, I polarize women a lot more, love me or hate me kind of thing whereas in the past, I was more meek in the middle kind of thing.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

I think the OP’s theory is plausible.

Women have always been attracted to things like height and resources. But only recently, maybe in the last 20 years or less, have they put specific metrics on them e.g. 6 foot, 6 figures, etc.

Yeah it's weird. I mean the media isn't helping because it increases resentment on both sides so women retaliate but I guess my point is that it's not just "their nature" driving the whole thing... Deep down in their nature, they're probably much better people then the way they portray themselves now. I was trying to see what is possible to be done if you approach women with that understanding.