"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Are minimalist/frugal lifestyles always a turn-off for women?

BadBoy89

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Depends how old the woman is.

If she is young, fresh and fertile, she doesn’t care. If she‘s older, more experienced, starting to lose her looks, she cares.
 
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"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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derby1

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Unless you're ripped and/or generally a tattooed dirtbag, I can't see that working out well in terms of seduction.
yeah I agree, at my biggest and leanest women would rationalise my old 1 bed apartment.

The place was literally Birmingham's version of Harlem :rofl:
 

Blacksheep

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Not all women would be turn off by this. Some dont care about it.

The best part of being a minimalist is that you keep away not only stupid women but in general stupid people that only looks for status and for what you have.

Then you open your doors to genuine people.

Most people are deluded by consumism, its not only a women's thing. Look at guys and you can see a similar behavior.

Also consuming stuffs are not the problem. Its how we deal with that desire.
 

SW15

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Depends how old the woman is.

If she is young, fresh and fertile, she doesn’t care. If she‘s older, more experienced, starting to lose her looks, she cares.
I only partially agree here. If you're playing in the hot category (8+ on most men's rating scales), even an 8+ 18-25 year old woman is going to care about a man's material possessions. I went to a university that we can call 'Hot Girl U'. In terms of student body attractiveness, it was one of the Top 20-25 universities for attractive people, especially attractive women. The top tier sorority women were going for the top fraternity guys (who were often from rich families) OR the top athletes who had Big Man on Campus status and likely had professional sports dollars coming their way in the near future. These were not guys into minimalism in any way.

If you're playing in the cute category (6-7.9) with 18-25 year olds, then you're more likely to be able to get away with minimalism. On a college campus, fewer of these women are in sororities and the ones that are tend to be in the mid to lower tier sororities. 4.5 - 5.9 is average in my book and below 4.5 is below average. You're more likely to get away with minimalism in the 4.5-5.9 range than the 6-7.9 range.

For women 26-35, you won't get away with minimalism for anyone in the cute and hot range and you'd even be challenged in the average range.
 
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RickTheToad

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Lots of people literally go out of their way to create a desire for something. If they don't want something, they find a reason why they should want it. Doesn't seem occur to them that removing/preventing the desire is even an option.
Pointless. One's desire is purpose then family (if that is what you want). Getting the latest Gucci bag is not a purpose, but I guess finding the money to pay for it is. Pointless way to BMF and little return.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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ubercat

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Hmm having a Toyota Supra is one thing. Much respect. But I can't imagine an older woman coping with mattress on floor or the kitchen of the single plate. It's too outside of herd values. She s going to be thinking axe murderer at worst and ex con at best.

To me the DJ attitude is purpose first so if a chick wants everything her way or to tell you what to do hit the road lady. And we are also pragmatists who understand and work with woman's nature. They are heavily programmed. So if you want pvssy on the reg you have to make a few concessions on the small things
 
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fastlife

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Bro, by the time you get back to your place then literally none of that stuff matters. When I was super broke, girls would be like, "OMG I love how you're such a minimalist" (and I had way less stuff than you did and lived in run down houses/apts in bad parts of town) and I'd always be thinking, "Shawty, I'm just broke AF." I also pulled a girl to an unfinished basement one time--concrete floors, no drywall, and a ****ty twin size mattress on the floor that was super discolored. It's all just part of the experience.

If YOU'RE insecure/self-conscious about it tho then you're done.
 

fastlife

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How old were you?
During the peak of that phase 24-27. Most of the girls were in college; a few in their mid 20s; usually from higher socio-economic backgrounds because I got off on that dynamic at the time.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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Bro, by the time you get back to your place then literally none of that stuff matters. When I was super broke, girls would be like, "OMG I love how you're such a minimalist" (and I had way less stuff than you did and lived in run down houses/apts in bad parts of town) and I'd always be thinking, "Shawty, I'm just broke AF." I also pulled a girl to an unfinished basement one time--concrete floors, no drywall, and a ****ty twin size mattress on the floor that was super discolored. It's all just part of the experience.

If YOU'RE insecure/self-conscious about it tho then you're done.
It's never really been an issue for me; in my experience once I get a girl to my place a bang is likely. Then again my last couple of places have been rather nice, albeit lacking in furnishing. Most women who I see are 23 or under though, so that factors in too.

It still begs the question how many of them are silently interpreting it as a "red flag", especially if they're looking for more than a casual relationship.
 
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fastlife

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Do you think that would still work if you were in your 30s and dealing with females 27 and older?
I never deal with 27 or older lol--but they're more of a headache in general judging from some of the stuff my buddies text me about. But I'm still pretty minimalist--just live in nicer apartments that are centrally located. Only thing I spend real money on are clothes.

However it does beg the question how many may be silently interpreting it as a "red flag".
Girls'll sleep with a guy with a few red flags much more readily than a guy who has none. I wouldn't worry about it.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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FlexpertHamilton

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^True but I'm more interested in a relationship at this point, hence why I ask. Girls will bang behind a dumpster if you're good enough...that's moot.
 

fastlife

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^True but I'm more interested in a relationship at this point, hence why I ask. Girls will bang behind a dumpster if you're good enough...that's moot.
Then you're giving them something to fix ;) Trust me, girls will try to nest and domesticate, regardless--and they'll enjoy/value the process of trying to do that more than if you try to be plug-and-play. The more complete your life is, the harder it is to get investment. But I don't have tons of advice for relationships other than how to stop them from happening--so other guy's feedback might be more useful itr.
 

Plinco

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It's a good sh*t test you can use on her.
 

devilkingx2

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I don't own a car right now, and my apartment is very minimally furnished. I only have a loveseat, kitchen table/dining chairs, gaming computer/desk, and two worn down leather chairs. I don't even have a bed frame or box spring - just a king mattress on the floor (and no it's not a studio apt). I have a 12 year old basic LED TV that I connect to my gaming computer as a secondary monitor for watching downloaded movies/shows (no streaming services). I have only basic kitchenwear (one plate, a few bowls, only 2-3 of each utensil...) No lamps, no decoration, literally nothing else. I have a few nice shirts and pants, a couple nice pairs of shoes, but almost no other clothing besides workout/lounge stuff. That said, my apartment building is actually a nice high rise in a fantastic location with a good view.

How many women, with their superficial/consumerist mindset, would see a problem with all of this? Once I move later this year I do plan on getting some more things, including a car, but until then I zero intention of getting anything else.
That doesn't sound like minimalism that sounds like living in squalor.

I don't think a woman worth dealing with would have a problem if you didn't have all the latest unnecessary junk and clutter. But a 12 year old TV and worn down leather chairs? WTF?

Mattress on the floor implies you are either very poor or a college student in a dorm. I have a bed frame/foundation I bought for like $50 off of Amazon.

Also the fact that everything is designed/setup for only one person and you don't even have lamps suggests you don't have friends or a social life. The vibe sounds somewhere between basement dweller and criminal minds.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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That doesn't sound like minimalism that sounds like living in squalor.

I don't think a woman worth dealing with would have a problem if you didn't have all the latest unnecessary junk and clutter. But a 12 year old TV and worn down leather chairs? WTF?

Mattress on the floor implies you are either very poor or a college student in a dorm. I have a bed frame/foundation I bought for like $50 off of Amazon.

Also the fact that everything is designed/setup for only one person and you don't even have lamps suggests you don't have friends or a social life. The vibe sounds somewhere between basement dweller and criminal minds.
I never particularly liked having people hanging out at my place, even when I was a kid. I've always strongly preferred hanging at someone else's place, or just ya know, go out somewhere. This is true with both friends and women I see (with some exception if they live in a ****hole). Plus, my main friend group all live in different parts of the country, so we mostly see each other on big trips we plan a few times a year. With local friends I will just go out and do things with (like tennis or hikes). You don't need to have people inside your home to be social with them. I'm extremely introverted, so I need my own personal space to recharge.

One of the reasons I don't have anything else is because I move once every year or two (9x in the past 12 years) and I'm sick to death of having to move or sell all my ****. Beyond that, most of it serves no purpose for me - does a bed frame improve the quality of my life? No. What does it do except burden me with yet another bulky, non-essential item I have to take care of? I've had plenty of opportunities for free bed frames, couches, etc and I always pass it up - money has nothing to do with it.

Hell man, I even had a N64 and Gamecube in excellent condition with tons of games (some rare), original controllers, etc I sold that **** a few years ago because I never used it anymore. I routinely throw out or sell anything I don't use and I've literally never regretted it.

Ideally I'd like everything I own to be able to fit in a small car. I intend to live in nice pre-furnished homes in vibrant social locations. I could happily live in a 400sq foot home if it was designed well enough. I have a nice computer and gaming monitor, nice headphones; tons of digital movies, shows, and games - that's all I need for home entertainment. I will admit, a newer TV would be nice at some point, and so would a comfy sectional couch. Other than that, all I need is some nice clothes and basic kitchenwear for cooking.
 
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"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Serenity

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The word "always" applied to humans will never apply always. It's just a matter of how common it is.

In general I like what I like and I do not like women who do not like what I like.

I absolutely despise people with a consumerist or superficial mindset. I would see your situation as an advantage, if she's totally fine with it then you know she's not that type, the perfect filter.

What if that woman doesn't exist? Well, personally I'd rather be alone then. Thankfully I don't need all women to be the way I want, I don't even need most women to be like that, I just need my woman to be like that. They do exist, though not very common it's enough for me. There are enough gullible men out there to take up all the superficial women, they are none of my concern.
 

ubercat

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OP Yea. You absolutely have a right to live how you want as long as you aren't harming. But you asked us how that would play with the ladies generally. There seem to be a lot of ladies who like the tiny house thing. Option?
 

Snag87

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The best approach is to show no insecurity.

"Why do you live in such a bare apartment?"

*Disengaged shrug* "I don't care I'm never home"
 

mrgoodstuff

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I don't own a car right now, and my apartment is very minimally furnished. I only have a loveseat, kitchen table/dining chairs, gaming computer/desk, and two worn down leather chairs. I don't even have a bed frame or box spring - just a king mattress on the floor (and no it's not a studio apt). I have a 12 year old basic LED TV that I connect to my gaming computer as a secondary monitor for watching downloaded movies/shows (no streaming services). I have only basic kitchenwear (one plate, a few bowls, only 2-3 of each utensil...) No lamps, no decoration, literally nothing else. I have a few nice shirts and pants, a couple nice pairs of shoes, but almost no other clothing besides workout/lounge stuff. That said, my apartment building is actually a nice high rise in a fantastic location with a good view.

How many women, with their superficial/consumerist mindset, would see a problem with all of this? Once I move later this year I do plan on getting some more things, including a car, but until then I zero intention of getting anything else.
Have enough cookware and dishes for 4 to 6 guests.
 

ananas

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I don't own a car right now, and my apartment is very minimally furnished. I only have a loveseat
I don't even have a bed frame or box spring - just a king mattress on the floor
I have a 12 year old basic LED TV
I have only basic kitchenwear (one plate, a few bowls, only 2-3 of each utensil...)
No lamps, no decoration,
literally nothing else.



How many women, with their superficial/consumerist mindset, would see a problem with all of this?
How many women, with their superficial/consumerist mindset, would see a problem with all of this?


WHAAAAAAT ??????????????????????????


 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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