You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
yeah I agree, at my biggest and leanest women would rationalise my old 1 bed apartment.Unless you're ripped and/or generally a tattooed dirtbag, I can't see that working out well in terms of seduction.
I only partially agree here. If you're playing in the hot category (8+ on most men's rating scales), even an 8+ 18-25 year old woman is going to care about a man's material possessions. I went to a university that we can call 'Hot Girl U'. In terms of student body attractiveness, it was one of the Top 20-25 universities for attractive people, especially attractive women. The top tier sorority women were going for the top fraternity guys (who were often from rich families) OR the top athletes who had Big Man on Campus status and likely had professional sports dollars coming their way in the near future. These were not guys into minimalism in any way.Depends how old the woman is.
If she is young, fresh and fertile, she doesn’t care. If she‘s older, more experienced, starting to lose her looks, she cares.
Pointless. One's desire is purpose then family (if that is what you want). Getting the latest Gucci bag is not a purpose, but I guess finding the money to pay for it is. Pointless way to BMF and little return.Lots of people literally go out of their way to create a desire for something. If they don't want something, they find a reason why they should want it. Doesn't seem occur to them that removing/preventing the desire is even an option.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
During the peak of that phase 24-27. Most of the girls were in college; a few in their mid 20s; usually from higher socio-economic backgrounds because I got off on that dynamic at the time.How old were you?
It's never really been an issue for me; in my experience once I get a girl to my place a bang is likely. Then again my last couple of places have been rather nice, albeit lacking in furnishing. Most women who I see are 23 or under though, so that factors in too.Bro, by the time you get back to your place then literally none of that stuff matters. When I was super broke, girls would be like, "OMG I love how you're such a minimalist" (and I had way less stuff than you did and lived in run down houses/apts in bad parts of town) and I'd always be thinking, "Shawty, I'm just broke AF." I also pulled a girl to an unfinished basement one time--concrete floors, no drywall, and a ****ty twin size mattress on the floor that was super discolored. It's all just part of the experience.
If YOU'RE insecure/self-conscious about it tho then you're done.
I never deal with 27 or older lol--but they're more of a headache in general judging from some of the stuff my buddies text me about. But I'm still pretty minimalist--just live in nicer apartments that are centrally located. Only thing I spend real money on are clothes.Do you think that would still work if you were in your 30s and dealing with females 27 and older?
Girls'll sleep with a guy with a few red flags much more readily than a guy who has none. I wouldn't worry about it.However it does beg the question how many may be silently interpreting it as a "red flag".
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Then you're giving them something to fix^True but I'm more interested in a relationship at this point, hence why I ask. Girls will bang behind a dumpster if you're good enough...that's moot.
That doesn't sound like minimalism that sounds like living in squalor.I don't own a car right now, and my apartment is very minimally furnished. I only have a loveseat, kitchen table/dining chairs, gaming computer/desk, and two worn down leather chairs. I don't even have a bed frame or box spring - just a king mattress on the floor (and no it's not a studio apt). I have a 12 year old basic LED TV that I connect to my gaming computer as a secondary monitor for watching downloaded movies/shows (no streaming services). I have only basic kitchenwear (one plate, a few bowls, only 2-3 of each utensil...) No lamps, no decoration, literally nothing else. I have a few nice shirts and pants, a couple nice pairs of shoes, but almost no other clothing besides workout/lounge stuff. That said, my apartment building is actually a nice high rise in a fantastic location with a good view.
How many women, with their superficial/consumerist mindset, would see a problem with all of this? Once I move later this year I do plan on getting some more things, including a car, but until then I zero intention of getting anything else.
I never particularly liked having people hanging out at my place, even when I was a kid. I've always strongly preferred hanging at someone else's place, or just ya know, go out somewhere. This is true with both friends and women I see (with some exception if they live in a ****hole). Plus, my main friend group all live in different parts of the country, so we mostly see each other on big trips we plan a few times a year. With local friends I will just go out and do things with (like tennis or hikes). You don't need to have people inside your home to be social with them. I'm extremely introverted, so I need my own personal space to recharge.That doesn't sound like minimalism that sounds like living in squalor.
I don't think a woman worth dealing with would have a problem if you didn't have all the latest unnecessary junk and clutter. But a 12 year old TV and worn down leather chairs? WTF?
Mattress on the floor implies you are either very poor or a college student in a dorm. I have a bed frame/foundation I bought for like $50 off of Amazon.
Also the fact that everything is designed/setup for only one person and you don't even have lamps suggests you don't have friends or a social life. The vibe sounds somewhere between basement dweller and criminal minds.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Have enough cookware and dishes for 4 to 6 guests.I don't own a car right now, and my apartment is very minimally furnished. I only have a loveseat, kitchen table/dining chairs, gaming computer/desk, and two worn down leather chairs. I don't even have a bed frame or box spring - just a king mattress on the floor (and no it's not a studio apt). I have a 12 year old basic LED TV that I connect to my gaming computer as a secondary monitor for watching downloaded movies/shows (no streaming services). I have only basic kitchenwear (one plate, a few bowls, only 2-3 of each utensil...) No lamps, no decoration, literally nothing else. I have a few nice shirts and pants, a couple nice pairs of shoes, but almost no other clothing besides workout/lounge stuff. That said, my apartment building is actually a nice high rise in a fantastic location with a good view.
How many women, with their superficial/consumerist mindset, would see a problem with all of this? Once I move later this year I do plan on getting some more things, including a car, but until then I zero intention of getting anything else.
I don't own a car right now, and my apartment is very minimally furnished. I only have a loveseat
I don't even have a bed frame or box spring - just a king mattress on the floor
I have a 12 year old basic LED TV
I have only basic kitchenwear (one plate, a few bowls, only 2-3 of each utensil...)
No lamps, no decoration,
literally nothing else.
How many women, with their superficial/consumerist mindset, would see a problem with all of this?How many women, with their superficial/consumerist mindset, would see a problem with all of this?
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.