"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Are minimalist/frugal lifestyles always a turn-off for women?
- Thread starter FlexpertHamilton
- Start date
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
yeah I agree, at my biggest and leanest women would rationalise my old 1 bed apartment.
The place was literally Birmingham's version of Harlem
Blacksheep
Master Don Juan
The best part of being a minimalist is that you keep away not only stupid women but in general stupid people that only looks for status and for what you have.
Then you open your doors to genuine people.
Most people are deluded by consumism, its not only a women's thing. Look at guys and you can see a similar behavior.
Also consuming stuffs are not the problem. Its how we deal with that desire.
SW15
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 31, 2020
- Messages
- 15,422
- Reaction score
- 12,521
I only partially agree here. If you're playing in the hot category (8+ on most men's rating scales), even an 8+ 18-25 year old woman is going to care about a man's material possessions. I went to a university that we can call 'Hot Girl U'. In terms of student body attractiveness, it was one of the Top 20-25 universities for attractive people, especially attractive women. The top tier sorority women were going for the top fraternity guys (who were often from rich families) OR the top athletes who had Big Man on Campus status and likely had professional sports dollars coming their way in the near future. These were not guys into minimalism in any way.
If you're playing in the cute category (6-7.9) with 18-25 year olds, then you're more likely to be able to get away with minimalism. On a college campus, fewer of these women are in sororities and the ones that are tend to be in the mid to lower tier sororities. 4.5 - 5.9 is average in my book and below 4.5 is below average. You're more likely to get away with minimalism in the 4.5-5.9 range than the 6-7.9 range.
For women 26-35, you won't get away with minimalism for anyone in the cute and hot range and you'd even be challenged in the average range.
RickTheToad
Moderator
Pointless. One's desire is purpose then family (if that is what you want). Getting the latest Gucci bag is not a purpose, but I guess finding the money to pay for it is. Pointless way to BMF and little return.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
To me the DJ attitude is purpose first so if a chick wants everything her way or to tell you what to do hit the road lady. And we are also pragmatists who understand and work with woman's nature. They are heavily programmed. So if you want pvssy on the reg you have to make a few concessions on the small things
If YOU'RE insecure/self-conscious about it tho then you're done.
During the peak of that phase 24-27. Most of the girls were in college; a few in their mid 20s; usually from higher socio-economic backgrounds because I got off on that dynamic at the time.
FlexpertHamilton
Master Don Juan
It's never really been an issue for me; in my experience once I get a girl to my place a bang is likely. Then again my last couple of places have been rather nice, albeit lacking in furnishing. Most women who I see are 23 or under though, so that factors in too.
It still begs the question how many of them are silently interpreting it as a "red flag", especially if they're looking for more than a casual relationship.
I never deal with 27 or older lol--but they're more of a headache in general judging from some of the stuff my buddies text me about. But I'm still pretty minimalist--just live in nicer apartments that are centrally located. Only thing I spend real money on are clothes.
Girls'll sleep with a guy with a few red flags much more readily than a guy who has none. I wouldn't worry about it.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
FlexpertHamilton
Master Don Juan
Then you're giving them something to fix
Trust me, girls will try to nest and domesticate, regardless--and they'll enjoy/value the process of trying to do that more than if you try to be plug-and-play. The more complete your life is, the harder it is to get investment. But I don't have tons of advice for relationships other than how to stop them from happening--so other guy's feedback might be more useful itr.
devilkingx2
Master Don Juan
That doesn't sound like minimalism that sounds like living in squalor.
I don't think a woman worth dealing with would have a problem if you didn't have all the latest unnecessary junk and clutter. But a 12 year old TV and worn down leather chairs? WTF?
Mattress on the floor implies you are either very poor or a college student in a dorm. I have a bed frame/foundation I bought for like $50 off of Amazon.
Also the fact that everything is designed/setup for only one person and you don't even have lamps suggests you don't have friends or a social life. The vibe sounds somewhere between basement dweller and criminal minds.
FlexpertHamilton
Master Don Juan
I never particularly liked having people hanging out at my place, even when I was a kid. I've always strongly preferred hanging at someone else's place, or just ya know, go out somewhere. This is true with both friends and women I see (with some exception if they live in a ****hole). Plus, my main friend group all live in different parts of the country, so we mostly see each other on big trips we plan a few times a year. With local friends I will just go out and do things with (like tennis or hikes). You don't need to have people inside your home to be social with them. I'm extremely introverted, so I need my own personal space to recharge.
One of the reasons I don't have anything else is because I move once every year or two (9x in the past 12 years) and I'm sick to death of having to move or sell all my ****. Beyond that, most of it serves no purpose for me - does a bed frame improve the quality of my life? No. What does it do except burden me with yet another bulky, non-essential item I have to take care of? I've had plenty of opportunities for free bed frames, couches, etc and I always pass it up - money has nothing to do with it.
Hell man, I even had a N64 and Gamecube in excellent condition with tons of games (some rare), original controllers, etc I sold that **** a few years ago because I never used it anymore. I routinely throw out or sell anything I don't use and I've literally never regretted it.
Ideally I'd like everything I own to be able to fit in a small car. I intend to live in nice pre-furnished homes in vibrant social locations. I could happily live in a 400sq foot home if it was designed well enough. I have a nice computer and gaming monitor, nice headphones; tons of digital movies, shows, and games - that's all I need for home entertainment. I will admit, a newer TV would be nice at some point, and so would a comfy sectional couch. Other than that, all I need is some nice clothes and basic kitchenwear for cooking.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Serenity
Moderator
In general I like what I like and I do not like women who do not like what I like.
I absolutely despise people with a consumerist or superficial mindset. I would see your situation as an advantage, if she's totally fine with it then you know she's not that type, the perfect filter.
What if that woman doesn't exist? Well, personally I'd rather be alone then. Thankfully I don't need all women to be the way I want, I don't even need most women to be like that, I just need my woman to be like that. They do exist, though not very common it's enough for me. There are enough gullible men out there to take up all the superficial women, they are none of my concern.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
Have enough cookware and dishes for 4 to 6 guests.
ananas
Banned
- Joined
- Nov 7, 2021
- Messages
- 37
- Reaction score
- 17
- Age
- 31
How many women, with their superficial/consumerist mindset, would see a problem with all of this?
WHAAAAAAT ??????????????????????????
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.