"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
april fools day pranks
- Thread starter i am me
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Daddy The Pimp
Master Don Juan
LoneSilver
Master Don Juan
I remember years ago in 1985, I had gotten the story off a sports news show but the original story came from Sports Illustrated magazine. It was about a rookie baseball pitcher who could reportedly throw a ball at 168 miles per hour was set to join the New York Mets.
What was funny about this story was me telling everyone about this special pitcher as real I felt like a fool after the surprised joke but if my memory is correct this sports news show started running the story like a whole month before April 1st before the big surprise so I was really into it not thinking that no one in the world could throw 168 miles an hour...
It seems just like yesterday but 23 years ago dam does time fly at 168 miles an hour
I do believe though if some story came out back then that a woman makes millions with Breast Lite after developing beer with her breast I would have believed it and would have called the local stores to see if they carry Breast Lite.... I was such a gullible booger back then.
Anyway, have fun but don't do it at the expense of going overboard.
LoneSilver
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Mr.Positive
Master Don Juan
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Here's what you do...go buy a cheap watch with an alarm. Set the alarm for 5 or 6 am. If you have any cheap dorm beds, like I did in the dorms, open up the metal tubing and hid the watch in your buddies bed, in the tubing somewhere.i am me said:
This way the alarm will go off every single day and wake his a$$ up. He'll probably tear the room apart looking for it and it'll drive him nuts.
I did this to one guy when I was in the dorms, and he went so far as to open holes in the ceilling trying to find the damn alarm.
That is sort of lame and will probably piss of your friend in not a good way.i am me said:
Saran wrap the toilet seats.
Scotch tape the bathroom sink faucets so your dorm mates get soaked.
Do this late at night then prank yourself the next day and say "yea, what arsehole did this???"
Mr.Positive
Master Don Juan
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Hmm..not bad, but better yet. Put fly tape on the toilet seats. Maybe some poor bastard will get his ass stuck.Commando said:
Point is I am Me, pranks are blast in the dorms. Also, you can do a lot with a can of whipped cream.
comic_relief
Master Don Juan
The one day, the one guy (A) was pissing off another person (B). So B decided to get back at A by taking the outhouse and moving it back one foot with a couple of his buddies.
All of his friends were in on this joke and they moved it. The next day, B came over to the house to annoy A again. After this went on for a bit, A had to go to the bathroom. So, he went to the outhouse and fell into the open hole. A fell six feet into the sewage and refuse that was down there.
At that moment, the feud between A and B was settled because B was the only person around that could get him out of his predictament.
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Another good practical joke is to sign a buddy up to a bunch of magazines or call the military branches saying that there is a very eager recruit. Leave all of his information and watch how mad that said individual would get.
comic_relief
“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.
g g g unit
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Mr.Positive
Master Don Juan
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Then, when he wakes up in the morning, say april fools. When he removes the tape, he removes his eyebrow. Now he's got to walk around with one eyebrow for awhile.
We did this with tunafish when a guy was gone on vacation, but by the time he got back it dried up and didn't stink much anymore.g g g unit said:
I wanted to put a real fish from a fish market with eyes and all still in someones desk drawer at work or tape it underneath their desk where they wouldn't find it, but I was too afraid I'd get fired over it.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Mr.Positive
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Oh man, that's just wrong.Phyzzle said:
If you are going to go over the top, might as well do this. Follow your "soon to be ex-buddy" when he drives to the grocery store. While he's inside the store, get 100 feet of the stongest fishing line you can get and tie one end to his bumper, and the other end to a shopping cart.
This way, when he leaves the parking lot, he drags a shopping cart behind his car around town.
EDIT: Note that this prank has the potential for property damage, and general public chaos..so I can't in good faith, recommend it.
Mr.Positive
Master Don Juan
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We went over to the teacher's house, about 10 of us. VW Bug's are light cars. We picked up the car and put the car on his front porch. Apparantly, he didn't see the humour in this.
I got into a lot of trouble when I lived in the dorms, but we didn't get caught for this stunt amazingly. Ah..those were fun times.