"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Appropriate time for the second kiss?

mothballs

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Some of you may remember that my mom introduced me to this girl at an afternoon get together at her place. It turns out I didn't have to do anything to get her cell number because I had told my mom that I liked her taste and she goes and tells the girl and drops the number in my lap... while I was on here asking advice about calling her at work. So I called her up and set up the first date etc.

We just went out last night and I had a great time with her and it was clearly the right time go give her a kiss at the end of the date... she leaned in as I did... All in all I had a great time. She said she also had a great time and agreed to a second date next weekend and told I her I'd call her this week (planning on Tues.) about it. So... now what the hell do I do about the second kiss? Is it a nono to greet her next time (thinking this is not the best idea) with a kiss? Or should I try to escalate at some more romantic time during the date? (or both?) The first date was just some coffee, dinner at Friendly's and an artsy fartsy movie... light stuff. Next will be a more romantic setting for dinner and some form of entertainment in a one on one setting (movie at her place probably). Obviously I need to at the very minimum close our dates from now on with a kiss.

And an FYI, my previous and only real GF was my friend and we were fooling around before we ever went on a real date. I've spent 9 years mostly staying out of the thick of College womanizing drama... screening a handful of women but never really finding a spark that told me to persue. Everything I did last night was fresh material simply from reading books on small talk, body language, psychology and forums like this one. I'm proof positive that if you just put what you know into action it will work. Maintaining conversation and keeping body language in check wasn't nearly as hard as I had it in my mind.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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horaholic

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Kiss on the cheek for hello. You cant go wrong. then give here a real kiss as soon as there is a pause in the convo.
 

mothballs

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I'm more looking to aviod the wrong time... Doesn't sound like there's really an answer to that.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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mothballs

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sodbuster said:
If she's into you,the only wrong time will be infront of her parents.
haha true... though we're both adults so there's less of a threat of running from shotgun blasts. That's how I guaged the first kiss... we were standing out on the sidewalk, with maybe a couple onlookers a block away, but we were clearly getting along great, so I just went for it. I knew once we were sitting there watching the movie that I'd do it, but I didn't pull any bull**** moves in the theater like she might expect... just let her wait and guess if I had the balls to do it at the end of the night.
 
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