"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Appropriate time for the second kiss?

mothballs

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Some of you may remember that my mom introduced me to this girl at an afternoon get together at her place. It turns out I didn't have to do anything to get her cell number because I had told my mom that I liked her taste and she goes and tells the girl and drops the number in my lap... while I was on here asking advice about calling her at work. So I called her up and set up the first date etc.

We just went out last night and I had a great time with her and it was clearly the right time go give her a kiss at the end of the date... she leaned in as I did... All in all I had a great time. She said she also had a great time and agreed to a second date next weekend and told I her I'd call her this week (planning on Tues.) about it. So... now what the hell do I do about the second kiss? Is it a nono to greet her next time (thinking this is not the best idea) with a kiss? Or should I try to escalate at some more romantic time during the date? (or both?) The first date was just some coffee, dinner at Friendly's and an artsy fartsy movie... light stuff. Next will be a more romantic setting for dinner and some form of entertainment in a one on one setting (movie at her place probably). Obviously I need to at the very minimum close our dates from now on with a kiss.

And an FYI, my previous and only real GF was my friend and we were fooling around before we ever went on a real date. I've spent 9 years mostly staying out of the thick of College womanizing drama... screening a handful of women but never really finding a spark that told me to persue. Everything I did last night was fresh material simply from reading books on small talk, body language, psychology and forums like this one. I'm proof positive that if you just put what you know into action it will work. Maintaining conversation and keeping body language in check wasn't nearly as hard as I had it in my mind.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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horaholic

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Kiss on the cheek for hello. You cant go wrong. then give here a real kiss as soon as there is a pause in the convo.
 

mothballs

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I'm more looking to aviod the wrong time... Doesn't sound like there's really an answer to that.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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mothballs

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sodbuster said:
If she's into you,the only wrong time will be infront of her parents.
haha true... though we're both adults so there's less of a threat of running from shotgun blasts. That's how I guaged the first kiss... we were standing out on the sidewalk, with maybe a couple onlookers a block away, but we were clearly getting along great, so I just went for it. I knew once we were sitting there watching the movie that I'd do it, but I didn't pull any bull**** moves in the theater like she might expect... just let her wait and guess if I had the balls to do it at the end of the night.
 
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