A friend and I recently applied for the same job. We both currently work for the same organization, but the job is for a higher position. I ended up getting the job, but now I feel bad, like I shouldn’t have applied or something since he did first and was expecting to get it. When I applied I was looking out for number 1, which is me, and didn’t think much of it just wanted to do what was best for me and advance my career. But now that I actually got it I feel kind of bad. Was I wrong in applying for this job too?
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
applied for the same job as friend
- Thread starter toast
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
GlutusMaximus86
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 2, 2002
- Messages
- 638
- Reaction score
- 1
You should probably just talk to him, find out how he feels about it, and go from there.
McKindley
Senior Don Juan
Good job looking out for number one. If you aren't looking out for you, then no one else will.
However, you should still talk it over with your friend. Make sure you're still on good terms. He should probably get over it unless he's a douche.
You could approach the situation like along the lines of 'now that I've moved up, we'll get YOU moved up as soon as we can. Then we can really start making things work around here the way we want them to work.' Make sure he knows that you're looking out for him. Make sure he knows that you two are still tight and you don't see this shift as permanent, just temporary until you two can both be moved up and level again.
Or at least that's what I'd do.
However, you should still talk it over with your friend. Make sure you're still on good terms. He should probably get over it unless he's a douche.
You could approach the situation like along the lines of 'now that I've moved up, we'll get YOU moved up as soon as we can. Then we can really start making things work around here the way we want them to work.' Make sure he knows that you're looking out for him. Make sure he knows that you two are still tight and you don't see this shift as permanent, just temporary until you two can both be moved up and level again.
Or at least that's what I'd do.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
How did you find out about the position?
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
dude.. u did the right thing..Originally posted by toast
A friend and I recently applied for the same job. We both currently work for the same organization, but the job is for a higher position. I ended up getting the job, but now I feel bad, like I shouldn’t have applied or something since he did first and was expecting to get it. When I applied I was looking out for number 1, which is me, and didn’t think much of it just wanted to do what was best for me and advance my career. But now that I actually got it I feel kind of bad. Was I wrong in applying for this job too?
as mentioned, he'll only be upset if hes a "douche".
its true.
chances are he is a "douche" most people are.
would he have held back if u applied first?
hell no.
now all you have to do is f*ck his girlfriend and you'll show him who's the true alpha male.
SELF-MASTERY
Banned
- Joined
- Dec 15, 2004
- Messages
- 1,971
- Reaction score
- 7
Why didn't you talk to your friend about applying for the position first......
Hey man, im gonna apply for the same job, Ihope you dont act like a p**** if Iget it and you dont............
Hey man, im gonna apply for the same job, Ihope you dont act like a p**** if Iget it and you dont............
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Then don't sweat it. Just as long as you didn't take advantage of your friend who might had confided in you that he was applying for it. Congratulations...Originally posted by toast
my supervisor encouraged me to apply for it.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Joe The Homophobe
Master Don Juan
Those who get promoted are the ones the boss picks because they are the best of the bunch. If he chose you over your friend it means you either work better or are better qualified.
circle of life, survival of the fittest, whatever. The best get promoted.
circle of life, survival of the fittest, whatever. The best get promoted.