"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Anyone got any takes on this situation ?

Bingo-Player

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In order to stay in my new country I have to get a partner visa

I dated a few chicks last year none blew me away, but was aware the visa process was very very long winded so it kind of rushed me into making a decision recently and picking a FWB to talk about going through the process with.

Basically if we lock into this Visa process we pretty much have to stay together for the next 2 years for me to be able to get my Permanent Residency ...

Now a lot can happen in 2 years it also costs $10,000 to do the application which is non refundable

So if at any point within that 2 year period we call it quits the visa goes with it

She has said she will do it but wants total commitment from me and wants to be living with me , she's 22 I am 33 so we are at the maximum age gap I would be prepared to entertain. She is about as mature as she can be at 22

But I still often catch signs of immaturity and uncultured behaviour which she can't help because she Is only 22 and still has so much natural maturing to do

Problem is at 33 I am in "find-a-wife" territory and that was a prime goal for when I arrived in this country

I don't think I could Marry this girl yet she's just too young ....

So i'm not sure I have 2 years to spend going through all this potentially breaking up with her and then re entering the market at 35 it would be difficult to find a wife

Not impossible but difficult

The alternative is that I go back into the market and try to find another woman now perhaps more realistically suited to me especially in terms of age

Although again the clock is ticking as I would basically need to find her within the next 12 months and get her to sponsor me for a visa

I mean aside from the obvious issues above to go through this process with someone requires a ridiculously high level of trust

Its an unusual situation and appreciate not many would have been in a similar predicament but do need some POV's beyond my own and Chat GPT'S
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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pipeman84

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she's 22 I am 33
Problem is at 33 I am in "find-a-wife" territory and that was a prime goal for when I arrived in this country

I don't think I could Marry this girl yet she's just too young ....
Better get yourself a 35yrs old woman then. If she's a single mom, even better. :rolleyes:

To read something like this on a seduction forum is as ridiculous as it gets. It's like going on a business forum and reading about a guy complaining that 500k/year is too much money and is looking to do the same work for 50k/year.
 

Clockwerk50

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I would start by doing a proper risk assessment to decide on the best course of action. First, take the time to reflect on how badly you want to stay in the country. Secondly, consider what you would do if you don’t find anyone willing to go through the partner visa process with you. You also need to assess the likelihood of meeting someone who fits your taste, is open to a serious commitment under a tight timeline, and is willing to accept the uncertainty of your immigration status. Keep in mind that if your documents aren’t in order, deportation remains a real possibility.

The last option is the girl you’re currently with. Anecdotally, one of my ex-girlfriends once did me a huge favor by lending me money for a bereavement-related expense so I could pay off a debt. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of falling back into debt. From that point on, every argument turned into a reminder of how I had used her, how irresponsible I was, and how much she regretted helping me. It became unbearable. The lesson? When a woman does you a big favor like that, especially when it involves money or something deeply personal, she might end up resenting you, or at the very least, use it as a form of control. It completely shifts the power dynamic. In a way, it’s like she’s cutting your balls off.

If I were you, and I admit this sounds harsh, I would stay with the FWB, get your documents sorted, and then break things off if you do not want to be with her. Personally, I couldn’t do that. I know how deep a bond can grow when you go through uncertainty and a bit of struggle together. But maybe you have the stomach for it. I know some Cubans that turned into Casper the ghost for their partner the moment they got their residency in Canada.
 

Clockwerk50

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Better get yourself a 35yrs old woman then. If she's a single mom, even better. :rolleyes:

To read something like this on a seduction forum is as ridiculous as it gets. It's like going on a business forum and reading about a guy complaining that 500k/year is too much money and is looking to do the same work for 50k/year.
Maybe the 22 year old girl is a crossed eye fatty.
 

ThisIsSparta

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In order to stay in my new country I have to get a partner visa

I dated a few chicks last year none blew me away, but was aware the visa process was very very long winded so it kind of rushed me into making a decision recently and picking a FWB to talk about going through the process with.

Basically if we lock into this Visa process we pretty much have to stay together for the next 2 years for me to be able to get my Permanent Residency ...

Now a lot can happen in 2 years it also costs $10,000 to do the application which is non refundable

So if at any point within that 2 year period we call it quits the visa goes with it

She has said she will do it but wants total commitment from me and wants to be living with me , she's 22 I am 33 so we are at the maximum age gap I would be prepared to entertain. She is about as mature as she can be at 22

But I still often catch signs of immaturity and uncultured behaviour which she can't help because she Is only 22 and still has so much natural maturing to do

Problem is at 33 I am in "find-a-wife" territory and that was a prime goal for when I arrived in this country

I don't think I could Marry this girl yet she's just too young ....

So i'm not sure I have 2 years to spend going through all this potentially breaking up with her and then re entering the market at 35 it would be difficult to find a wife

Not impossible but difficult

The alternative is that I go back into the market and try to find another woman now perhaps more realistically suited to me especially in terms of age

Although again the clock is ticking as I would basically need to find her within the next 12 months and get her to sponsor me for a visa

I mean aside from the obvious issues above to go through this process with someone requires a ridiculously high level of trust

Its an unusual situation and appreciate not many would have been in a similar predicament but do need some POV's beyond my own and Chat GPT'S
Why would you do that? (All of it!)

You do understand that the woman in question will have your balls in her handbag for 2 years and that she will make good use of her personal slave?

Man that **** screams "needy", "dependence" and "submission" like nothing i have ever read on this forum.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

DJ Novice

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Don’t do it OP.

You’re basically inviting a woman access to 50% of your wealth in 2 years.
 

BillyPilgrim

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Aren't you in Australia OP? Maybe you can bribe @Scaramouche for 5K (half the fee) to say he's gay for 2 years.

Lolz

I wouldn't try to find a wife for a partner visa though. The circumstances would sabotage your search too much imo and 35 isn't too young to find a wife.
 

BaronOfHair

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Problem is at 33 I am in "find-a-wife" territory and that was a prime goal for when I arrived in this country
Tantamount to going out to the Navajo reservation, with the goal of promoting sobriety... You've been less than pragmatic from the get-go, hoss
 

Scaramouche

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Hi Billy,
" Aren't you in Australia OP? Maybe you can bribe @Scaramouche for 5K (half the fee) to say he's gay for 2 years." It's all a vicious rumour,Bingo and I are just good friends LOL.
 

BeExcellent

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Advise against the FWB. That will put a 22 year old girl in control of your future. She already has made demands on you ahead of this and she WILL wield that power over you.

Not good.

If @Scaramouche cannot be convinced to be your partner, (actually not a bad idea) then I think you are ill advised to do this with the 22 year old.

If she gets mad, meets someone else, she will cost you 10K and your visa.

She's not the right candidate for this.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Bible_Belt

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In order to stay in my new country I have to get a partner visa

I dated a few chicks last year none blew me away, but was aware the visa process was very very long winded so it kind of rushed me into making a decision recently and picking a FWB to talk about going through the process with.

Basically if we lock into this Visa process we pretty much have to stay together for the next 2 years for me to be able to get my Permanent Residency ...

Now a lot can happen in 2 years it also costs $10,000 to do the application which is non refundable

So if at any point within that 2 year period we call it quits the visa goes with it

She has said she will do it but wants total commitment from me and wants to be living with me , she's 22 I am 33 so we are at the maximum age gap I would be prepared to entertain. She is about as mature as she can be at 22

But I still often catch signs of immaturity and uncultured behaviour which she can't help because she Is only 22 and still has so much natural maturing to do

Problem is at 33 I am in "find-a-wife" territory and that was a prime goal for when I arrived in this country

I don't think I could Marry this girl yet she's just too young ....

So i'm not sure I have 2 years to spend going through all this potentially breaking up with her and then re entering the market at 35 it would be difficult to find a wife

Not impossible but difficult

The alternative is that I go back into the market and try to find another woman now perhaps more realistically suited to me especially in terms of age

Although again the clock is ticking as I would basically need to find her within the next 12 months and get her to sponsor me for a visa

I mean aside from the obvious issues above to go through this process with someone requires a ridiculously high level of trust

Its an unusual situation and appreciate not many would have been in a similar predicament but do need some POV's beyond my own and Chat GPT'S
Assuming you want a wife so you can have kids, the 22 y/o is a better biological candidate than a woman your age. It seems like the authorities would be reluctant to deport you if you knocked her up. If they did, you would get out of paying child support, and they hate that.
 

Bingo-Player

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Better get yourself a 35yrs old woman then. If she's a single mom, even better. :rolleyes:

To read something like this on a seduction forum is as ridiculous as it gets. It's like going on a business forum and reading about a guy complaining that 500k/year is too much money and is looking to do the same work for 50k/year.
This hasn't been a seduction forum for well over 5 years

Its become a noob /incel forum with tints of blackpill idelogoly
 

Bingo-Player

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Why would you do that? (All of it!)

You do understand that the woman in question will have your balls in her handbag for 2 years and that she will make good use of her personal slave?

Man that **** screams "needy", "dependence" and "submission" like nothing i have ever read on this forum.
Did you not read the first sentence of the post ?

Some situations are well beyond the scope of the standard macho alpha bullsh1t

There is no way around this if I want to stay in the country I either need a partner or an employer to sponsor in either scenario theres a level of control given to the sponsoring party completely out of my remit

My Home country is a depressing mess

When you move country and want to stay there thats the situation

You're likely American so have probably never left America and believe the world ends there
 

BackInTheGame78

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Making decisions out of desperation never ends well.

This will turn out to be one of the worst decisions of your life looking back on it in 10 years if you make it.
 

Scaramouche

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Hi Bingo,
Change from a visitors to a Student Visa many of our Mid Eastern friends do this,you enrol in a TAFE course turn up once to enrol,then go to first lesson to be entered in roll book...Friend up the Coast brings out Filipina Ladies that way!
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

BillyPilgrim

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In case you're wondering OP, TAFE stands for Tirelessly Absorbing Female Emotions. Sounds like a fun program, I for one am jealous.
 

The Duke

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In order to stay in my new country I have to get a partner visa

I dated a few chicks last year none blew me away, but was aware the visa process was very very long winded so it kind of rushed me into making a decision recently and picking a FWB to talk about going through the process with.

Basically if we lock into this Visa process we pretty much have to stay together for the next 2 years for me to be able to get my Permanent Residency ...

Now a lot can happen in 2 years it also costs $10,000 to do the application which is non refundable

So if at any point within that 2 year period we call it quits the visa goes with it

She has said she will do it but wants total commitment from me and wants to be living with me , she's 22 I am 33 so we are at the maximum age gap I would be prepared to entertain. She is about as mature as she can be at 22

But I still often catch signs of immaturity and uncultured behaviour which she can't help because she Is only 22 and still has so much natural maturing to do

Problem is at 33 I am in "find-a-wife" territory and that was a prime goal for when I arrived in this country

I don't think I could Marry this girl yet she's just too young ....

So i'm not sure I have 2 years to spend going through all this potentially breaking up with her and then re entering the market at 35 it would be difficult to find a wife

Not impossible but difficult

The alternative is that I go back into the market and try to find another woman now perhaps more realistically suited to me especially in terms of age

Although again the clock is ticking as I would basically need to find her within the next 12 months and get her to sponsor me for a visa

I mean aside from the obvious issues above to go through this process with someone requires a ridiculously high level of trust

Its an unusual situation and appreciate not many would have been in a similar predicament but do need some POV's beyond my own and Chat GPT'S
You have a lot of good thoughts you have shared on this forum, but this is not one of them!

This girl isn't out much if she decides to abandon ship. You are out a lot of money. You always make sure the other person has as much to lose as you do.

Here she is trying to out maneuver you buy dictating the terms. I'd rather find someone you can pay $5,000 to and if they hold up their end of the deal in 2yrs then they get paid.
 

Bingo-Player

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You have a lot of good thoughts you have shared on this forum, but this is not one of them!

This girl isn't out much if she decides to abandon ship. You are out a lot of money. You always make sure the other person has as much to lose as you do.

Here she is trying to out maneuver you buy dictating the terms. I'd rather find someone you can pay $5,000 to and if they hold up their end of the deal in 2yrs then they get paid.
The immigration system is structured so that the sponsoring partner never has as much to lose as the sponsored partner

I mean to be fair she has offered to help with the cost but the money is not really my primary concern at the moment its actually assessing the situation

I mean a mate of mine did something like this with an American woman about 10 years ago and actually got married to get his Green card the relationship barely lasted a few years but it was enough he now lives in the states permenantley

The difference here was he was in his early 20's and could afford for it too go wrong.
 

Bingo-Player

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In hindsight this probably wasn't the right place to post this as there are few If any migrants on here
 

BillyPilgrim

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"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

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