I mean like you get nervous just walking around even if there arent hb's around? I've seen that commercial for Zoloft- for social anxiety disorder. I get really nervous in class and cant even read w/o my voice breaking up.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Anyone ever get really really nrevous?
- Thread starter southpark
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
The TallOne
Don Juan
Sounds like extreme anxiety.
You could try drugs..
Or you could try putting yourself under self-control.
I tried the latter, and it works.
Take deep breaths, relax.. and don't give one **** about what people think of you, let it loose.
You could try drugs..
Or you could try putting yourself under self-control.
I tried the latter, and it works.
Take deep breaths, relax.. and don't give one **** about what people think of you, let it loose.
oakraiderz2
Master Don Juan
Smoke a lot of ciggs like my friend. He always seems like hes on the edge.
The TallOne
Don Juan
As much as the cigarette can calm your nerves..
Its a nasty habit to get into, and hard to get out of.
Just work on it, your nervous due to a fear.
First you gotta identify the fear, cause that will be the cause of your nervousness. After you identify it you will begin to cure it by working on it more and more.
Medication is americas cure for everything. Don't medicate, work on yourself, you can fix any problem you have with the willpower and time.
First you gotta identify the fear, cause that will be the cause of your nervousness. After you identify it you will begin to cure it by working on it more and more.
Medication is americas cure for everything. Don't medicate, work on yourself, you can fix any problem you have with the willpower and time.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
oakraiderz2
Master Don Juan
I know...i was joking cause my friend humors me when he does it.
The TallOne
Don Juan
Ah, my apologies.
I generally relate humor on the net, with a smilie.
in my last year of high school, a few hbs came and started talking to me. i got so nervous i started sweating and couldn't think never mind speak straight. it was frightening.
i managed to work on it. alcohol provides the quick fix, but it's not the best way to deal with the problem.
i don't know how bad your situation is, but it is always worth the effort to fix it.
pook said some really great things that stuck with me.
"If you find yourself on the 7th story of a burning building and you jump, your problem is solved. Now you just have to worry about landing." Talking about shy people landing on the ground is fine but we need to get them to jump out of the building in the first place
"As a formerly EXTREMELY shy person, I can say that shyness is NOT a form of insecurity. In other avenues than person, shy people can be extroadinarily confidant.
It is entirely possible to be confident but be introverted.
It is also possible to be insecure but be extroverted.
No, shyness is thinking that EVERYONE IS LOOKING AT YOU. It is a form of junior high school following you. If you get up from your seat, people will look at you. You speak up, people look at you. And so on. This means you will less likely speak, less likely get up, and since everytime you do you think you walk on a stage and everyone will notice you.
What shy people need to realize is that you could walk in front of a bus, get *thwumped!*, and no one would really notice. No one is going to care what you do or who you are. You are not a celebrity. You do not have cameras pointing at you. You are not important. You are nothing."
from pooks replies in
http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum6/HTML/001052.html
ok, like i said i don't know how bad your situation is, but it's worth considering these points.
another thing. how do you carry yourself when you're out in public? what's your body language like? if you go about with a frown on your face, shoulders hunched, head down, arms folded and a walk that almost counts as a run, how do you think you'll feel? like shyt; worthless. if you go about with shoulders back (in a straight line), a neutral expression on your face to a smirk/smile, a slow, smooth pace and back arched, how are you going to feel? even if you think you feel like shyt to begin with, this will soon change as your body language says "i'm worth a milion bucks".
and one last thing, you get nervous speaking in class? who doesn't if they haven't done it much. you can try not to give a shyt and put in minimal effort so that it appears like you aren't flustered and not trying much, which works well. or you can say to yourself that you aren't nervous; instead you're excited and you're getting a very valuable adrenaline rush that people pay money for when they go on rollercoasters.
i managed to work on it. alcohol provides the quick fix, but it's not the best way to deal with the problem.
i don't know how bad your situation is, but it is always worth the effort to fix it.
pook said some really great things that stuck with me.
"If you find yourself on the 7th story of a burning building and you jump, your problem is solved. Now you just have to worry about landing." Talking about shy people landing on the ground is fine but we need to get them to jump out of the building in the first place
"As a formerly EXTREMELY shy person, I can say that shyness is NOT a form of insecurity. In other avenues than person, shy people can be extroadinarily confidant.
It is entirely possible to be confident but be introverted.
It is also possible to be insecure but be extroverted.
No, shyness is thinking that EVERYONE IS LOOKING AT YOU. It is a form of junior high school following you. If you get up from your seat, people will look at you. You speak up, people look at you. And so on. This means you will less likely speak, less likely get up, and since everytime you do you think you walk on a stage and everyone will notice you.
What shy people need to realize is that you could walk in front of a bus, get *thwumped!*, and no one would really notice. No one is going to care what you do or who you are. You are not a celebrity. You do not have cameras pointing at you. You are not important. You are nothing."
from pooks replies in
http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum6/HTML/001052.html
ok, like i said i don't know how bad your situation is, but it's worth considering these points.
another thing. how do you carry yourself when you're out in public? what's your body language like? if you go about with a frown on your face, shoulders hunched, head down, arms folded and a walk that almost counts as a run, how do you think you'll feel? like shyt; worthless. if you go about with shoulders back (in a straight line), a neutral expression on your face to a smirk/smile, a slow, smooth pace and back arched, how are you going to feel? even if you think you feel like shyt to begin with, this will soon change as your body language says "i'm worth a milion bucks".
and one last thing, you get nervous speaking in class? who doesn't if they haven't done it much. you can try not to give a shyt and put in minimal effort so that it appears like you aren't flustered and not trying much, which works well. or you can say to yourself that you aren't nervous; instead you're excited and you're getting a very valuable adrenaline rush that people pay money for when they go on rollercoasters.
The TallOne
Don Juan
You need to learn self-control.
FORCE yourself to take your hands out of your pockets.
FORCE yourself to raise your head up.
FORCE yourself to keep your shoulders raised.
We cannot force you to do anything, it needs to come from within.
Self-control is probably one of the biggest obstacles anybody will ever have.
If you can control yourself, you can do alot of awesome things.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Man at the beginning of the summer I had the perfect job-I worked at our town's Regal movie theater but like a dumba** I quit. It was perfect - hb's everywhere. Now I'm trying to get a job at Blockbuster, does anyone know how old you have to be to work there?
Beatflux
Don Juan
I had the same problem as you, except worse. I was nervious pretty much throughout the whole school day which was very draining. I didn't want to do drugs or therapy. Drug have unforeseen consequences and therapy is not guarenteed. I meditated with Holosync for a while and it eventually subsided. I've started doing Qigong and it makes you feel real peaceful. FYI: Spring Forest Qigong costs 99 for the beginner level and Holosync cost 159. Both are definately worth the money.
Questions? PM me.
Questions? PM me.
oakraiderz2
Master Don Juan
The ripe age of 17.
FreeStyleZ
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 26, 2003
- Messages
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you should probably visit the forums at www.socialanxietysupport.com i had SA when i was in 10th grade, seems like a thing of the past now.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.