"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Anybody know a short funny joke I can send by text?

K

kinesis

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There's this girl that I was dating and getting pretty close to before I left the country and things fizzled a little. I know she was pretty into me, and I was just looking to kinda reconnect with no pressure. I figured it would be cool to send her a little joke in a txt that would get her to laugh, and maybe initiate some dialogue. Since we haven't talked in a little bit, I was having a hard time thinking of anything specific and thought maybe a short joke would be best...

Any ideas?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Snowman23

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Oh my god. There is no magic pill. Say whatever you want. Quit over-analyzing.

Damn I'm sick of this forum already.
 
F

Francisco d'Anconia

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Roses are red, Pickles are green, I love your legs & whats in between!
 
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kinesis

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Snowman23 said:
Oh my god. There is no magic pill. Say whatever you want. Quit over-analyzing.

Damn I'm sick of this forum already.
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Then maybe it's time for you to do something else with your time.

I wasn't looking for a magic pill retard, just a funny, short joke. Why is that such a wrong thing to ask?
 
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Snowman23

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It's a stupid question. Why would you ask others what funny little joke you should say? Can't you think for yourself?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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K

kinesis

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Snowman23 said:
It's a stupid question. Why would you ask others what funny little joke you should say? Can't you think for yourself?
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If I could think of one, would I be here asking, dip****?

I'm asking for ideas. Don't be a ****.
 
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tsmith2334

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maybe just tease her a little? like "what's up loser... long time no talk..."
 
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jadager

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
Roses are red, Pickles are green, I love your legs & whats in between!
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omfg rofl dude you made me laugh so hard, because I actually imagine like someone saying that to a girl :crackup:
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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jadager said:
omfg rofl dude you made me laugh so hard, because I actually imagine like someone saying that to a girl :crackup:
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You laugh but I've used it a few time with women I've bedded. Typically I send them the text when I know that they're in a meeting. Afterwards the call me with pretty much the same response as you (after a few choice words about making her disrupt her meeting with a bellylaugh). :up:
 
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smooth guy

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kinesis: do you want to have magic sex?

her: what's magic sex?

kinesis: we sneak into my place have sex then you dissappear

:p
 
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DonRaul

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hey man don't be so touchy snowman...

kinesis, try something with sexual connotation. Go to askmen.com for a archive of jokes.
 
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