"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Anybody know a short funny joke I can send by text?

K

kinesis

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 26, 2006
Messages
19
Reaction score
0
Age
47
There's this girl that I was dating and getting pretty close to before I left the country and things fizzled a little. I know she was pretty into me, and I was just looking to kinda reconnect with no pressure. I figured it would be cool to send her a little joke in a txt that would get her to laugh, and maybe initiate some dialogue. Since we haven't talked in a little bit, I was having a hard time thinking of anything specific and thought maybe a short joke would be best...

Any ideas?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

S

Snowman23

Banned
Joined
Sep 26, 2007
Messages
242
Reaction score
7
Oh my god. There is no magic pill. Say whatever you want. Quit over-analyzing.

Damn I'm sick of this forum already.
 
F

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
Roses are red, Pickles are green, I love your legs & whats in between!
 
K

kinesis

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 26, 2006
Messages
19
Reaction score
0
Age
47
Snowman23 said:
Oh my god. There is no magic pill. Say whatever you want. Quit over-analyzing.

Damn I'm sick of this forum already.
Click to expand...
Then maybe it's time for you to do something else with your time.

I wasn't looking for a magic pill retard, just a funny, short joke. Why is that such a wrong thing to ask?
 
S

Snowman23

Banned
Joined
Sep 26, 2007
Messages
242
Reaction score
7
It's a stupid question. Why would you ask others what funny little joke you should say? Can't you think for yourself?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

K

kinesis

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 26, 2006
Messages
19
Reaction score
0
Age
47
Snowman23 said:
It's a stupid question. Why would you ask others what funny little joke you should say? Can't you think for yourself?
Click to expand...
If I could think of one, would I be here asking, dip****?

I'm asking for ideas. Don't be a ****.
 
T

tsmith2334

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 4, 2007
Messages
761
Reaction score
16
Location
NC
maybe just tease her a little? like "what's up loser... long time no talk..."
 
J

jadager

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 1, 2007
Messages
15
Reaction score
0
Francisco d'Anconia said:
Roses are red, Pickles are green, I love your legs & whats in between!
Click to expand...
omfg rofl dude you made me laugh so hard, because I actually imagine like someone saying that to a girl :crackup:
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

F

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
jadager said:
omfg rofl dude you made me laugh so hard, because I actually imagine like someone saying that to a girl :crackup:
Click to expand...
You laugh but I've used it a few time with women I've bedded. Typically I send them the text when I know that they're in a meeting. Afterwards the call me with pretty much the same response as you (after a few choice words about making her disrupt her meeting with a bellylaugh). :up:
 
S

smooth guy

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 15, 2007
Messages
306
Reaction score
3
kinesis: do you want to have magic sex?

her: what's magic sex?

kinesis: we sneak into my place have sex then you dissappear

:p
 
D

DonRaul

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 28, 2006
Messages
86
Reaction score
2
hey man don't be so touchy snowman...

kinesis, try something with sexual connotation. Go to askmen.com for a archive of jokes.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
Top