Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
Any DJ's out there in a HAPPY, HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
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"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
YawataNoKami
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I worked at the family court system for three years........no cohabitation , no marriage for me.
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
Been married for 3 and a half years now. Damn lol. I've honestly never been happier. Have a knucklehead ass 6 year old son together with another in tow. But then again I married her for a reason.
i just see it all as one big process,. settling down is just the next phase after the plate spinning phase when you meet a plate worth settling down with.
When I knew I had caught a case of the feels for my wife i made the very conscious choice to cut off my other 3 plates i was spinning when i met my wife. it's not like i just forgot how to get women or forgot how to treat them and then i only had one plate left and i held on to that plate for dear life; i was spinning a few plates and after 3 months of this i decided you know.. i really really like this one more than the others. so obviously. i still get hit on now often enough to where i know that if my wife left me i would have no problem at all jumping back and getting 2-3 plates rather quickly so the fear of not being able to get a woman isn ot keeping me where i am, the fact that i am head over heels in love with my wife keeps where i am.
Believe it or not there are good ones out there. If I were a "new recruit" on this site I would masterize the anti dump method in the DJ bible. it works. it works. it works perfectly. Screening and patience.
i just see it all as one big process,. settling down is just the next phase after the plate spinning phase when you meet a plate worth settling down with.
When I knew I had caught a case of the feels for my wife i made the very conscious choice to cut off my other 3 plates i was spinning when i met my wife. it's not like i just forgot how to get women or forgot how to treat them and then i only had one plate left and i held on to that plate for dear life; i was spinning a few plates and after 3 months of this i decided you know.. i really really like this one more than the others. so obviously. i still get hit on now often enough to where i know that if my wife left me i would have no problem at all jumping back and getting 2-3 plates rather quickly so the fear of not being able to get a woman isn ot keeping me where i am, the fact that i am head over heels in love with my wife keeps where i am.
Believe it or not there are good ones out there. If I were a "new recruit" on this site I would masterize the anti dump method in the DJ bible. it works. it works. it works perfectly. Screening and patience.
I'm in a year long relationship with a girl who is 6 years younger than me. I am happy with her at the moment but there are some things coming out now in her personality (immaturity) that are making me doubt whether she is marriage material. I will see what happens and I have fully prepared myself to walk away if needed.
( . )( . )
Banned
Never really been burned, I got dumped by a chubby chick back in my AFC days. That was embarrassing. I'm on my 4th year now with a traditional woman, hardly even a whiff of "modern grrrrl" about her, no facebook, no tatts, no drinking, almost no swearing. She knows to watch her bullsh!t TV shows and leftoid pozzed news when I'm not around. It's a healthy relationship with clear roles, much akin to what was probably normal half a century ago. I like it. I also like to take her out and watch other men's envy and jealousy. I waded through a lot of sh!t to find a decent one so I see no real reason to go back to ONS's and such at this point in time.:-) said:
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I'm in a good place with my woman. I live with her. Been dating about 2 years now.
Heisenberg is right - healthy people don't hang out in a hospital (for the most part). Only reason I'm looking here now is because I've started a coaching business on the side and it's helping remind me of common problems. Most guys who "get it" seem to graduate from this site and never come back. They are too busy winning.
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I've actually learned a few important lessons in how to be attached to a woman long term with your balls intact.
1. You can't enter the relationship because you "need" her. You must be totally happy with yourself first. She better add to your life - she isn't there to fill some hole in your life. You can't enter a relationship out of laziness, either. If you pick the most convenient girl because you're tired of dating, it won't work.
My woman is a great partner. She adds to my life. I push her to be better, and she pushes me to be better. If things didn't work out, I would be perfectly happy with my life.
2. You must be assertive. Find the win-win situation for both of you. Help her get what she wants. Don't let her trample on your wants/needs. Stand your ground.
3. Learn to say NO. A LOT. Feel comfortable doing it. She may whine or get mad. Again, stand your ground.
4. Your power in a relationship cannot come from the threat of breaking up. That's not power, that's holding the relationship for ransom. Instead, it must come from your strength of character. Your will. And your commitment to your decisions. Don't waver.
5. She will get mad at you every now and then. Never put up with her blowing up at you. Stay calm. Listen to her, and decide if she is justified in being angry. She may have good reason to be angry - you are not perfect. If that's the case, work out a solution with her. Apologize only if you did something intentionally or if it was really hurtful.
If she's angry and you decide there's no logical reason for it, tell her (respectfully) that she's being ridiculous and irrational. Stick to your guns.
Sometimes she may get mad AND emotional...to the point where there is no reasoning with her. DO NOT try to reason with a woman in this state! It will get you nowhere. Usually in this situation I do something ridiculous to her like bop her on the nose, point at her, and say "NO!" like I'm disciplining a pet. How do you argue with something so ridiculous? You can't. If she's at super-mega-defcon-level-10, just go do something else until she cools off and gets her logic back.
DO NOT APOLOGIZE OR CAVE IN IF YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG. That may be the easiest option in the short-term (she shuts up), but in the long-term she will lose respect for you and your happy relationship will go down the toilet.
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Do these things, my future DJs, and you can have a happy relationship. If a woman decides to leave because she can't deal with a real man, so be it. She wasn't worth having around anyway.
Heisenberg is right - healthy people don't hang out in a hospital (for the most part). Only reason I'm looking here now is because I've started a coaching business on the side and it's helping remind me of common problems. Most guys who "get it" seem to graduate from this site and never come back. They are too busy winning.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
I've actually learned a few important lessons in how to be attached to a woman long term with your balls intact.
1. You can't enter the relationship because you "need" her. You must be totally happy with yourself first. She better add to your life - she isn't there to fill some hole in your life. You can't enter a relationship out of laziness, either. If you pick the most convenient girl because you're tired of dating, it won't work.
My woman is a great partner. She adds to my life. I push her to be better, and she pushes me to be better. If things didn't work out, I would be perfectly happy with my life.
2. You must be assertive. Find the win-win situation for both of you. Help her get what she wants. Don't let her trample on your wants/needs. Stand your ground.
3. Learn to say NO. A LOT. Feel comfortable doing it. She may whine or get mad. Again, stand your ground.
4. Your power in a relationship cannot come from the threat of breaking up. That's not power, that's holding the relationship for ransom. Instead, it must come from your strength of character. Your will. And your commitment to your decisions. Don't waver.
5. She will get mad at you every now and then. Never put up with her blowing up at you. Stay calm. Listen to her, and decide if she is justified in being angry. She may have good reason to be angry - you are not perfect. If that's the case, work out a solution with her. Apologize only if you did something intentionally or if it was really hurtful.
If she's angry and you decide there's no logical reason for it, tell her (respectfully) that she's being ridiculous and irrational. Stick to your guns.
Sometimes she may get mad AND emotional...to the point where there is no reasoning with her. DO NOT try to reason with a woman in this state! It will get you nowhere. Usually in this situation I do something ridiculous to her like bop her on the nose, point at her, and say "NO!" like I'm disciplining a pet. How do you argue with something so ridiculous? You can't. If she's at super-mega-defcon-level-10, just go do something else until she cools off and gets her logic back.
DO NOT APOLOGIZE OR CAVE IN IF YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG. That may be the easiest option in the short-term (she shuts up), but in the long-term she will lose respect for you and your happy relationship will go down the toilet.
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Do these things, my future DJs, and you can have a happy relationship. If a woman decides to leave because she can't deal with a real man, so be it. She wasn't worth having around anyway.
JohnChops
Master Don Juan
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Relationships are phucking boring. At my age, I can get any girl there possibly is, hell anyone can do that sh1t, why settle for one? She better be pretty awesome, haven't found one yet.
sylvester the cat
Master Don Juan
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Woah! that was quick. Who pushed for exclusivity on this one? you or her?GettinMyMindRight said:
would be interesting to see her response from the inevitable (and permanent) freezeout i (hopefully) assume you're going to give her.
sylvester the cat
Master Don Juan
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pushing for exclusivity within such a short period always gets alarm bells ringing.GettinMyMindRight said:
some girls just love to live in this fairytale world of roses and princes - until they get it and then they revert to their wh0re nature again.
how old was she?
sylvester the cat
Master Don Juan
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.....................GettinMyMindRight said:
Last edited:
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
JohnChops
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2012
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- 2,734
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I have two rules:GettinMyMindRight said:
1) never date girls named Rachel
2) never date younger than 20 (im 21, not a fan of dating an 18 year old)
Something about Rachels dude, I haven't had a normal one yet.