I'm in a good place with my woman. I live with her. Been dating about 2 years now.
Heisenberg is right - healthy people don't hang out in a hospital (for the most part). Only reason I'm looking here now is because I've started a coaching business on the side and it's helping remind me of common problems. Most guys who "get it" seem to graduate from this site and never come back. They are too busy winning.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
I've actually learned a few important lessons in how to be attached to a woman long term with your balls intact.
1. You can't enter the relationship because you "need" her. You must be totally happy with yourself first. She better add to your life - she isn't there to fill some hole in your life. You can't enter a relationship out of laziness, either. If you pick the most convenient girl because you're tired of dating, it won't work.
My woman is a great partner. She adds to my life. I push her to be better, and she pushes me to be better. If things didn't work out, I would be perfectly happy with my life.
2. You must be assertive. Find the win-win situation for both of you. Help her get what she wants. Don't let her trample on your wants/needs. Stand your ground.
3. Learn to say NO. A LOT. Feel comfortable doing it. She may whine or get mad. Again, stand your ground.
4. Your power in a relationship cannot come from the threat of breaking up. That's not power, that's holding the relationship for ransom. Instead, it must come from your strength of character. Your will. And your commitment to your decisions. Don't waver.
5. She will get mad at you every now and then. Never put up with her blowing up at you. Stay calm. Listen to her, and decide if she is justified in being angry. She may have good reason to be angry - you are not perfect. If that's the case, work out a solution with her. Apologize only if you did something intentionally or if it was really hurtful.
If she's angry and you decide there's no logical reason for it, tell her (respectfully) that she's being ridiculous and irrational. Stick to your guns.
Sometimes she may get mad AND emotional...to the point where there is no reasoning with her. DO NOT try to reason with a woman in this state! It will get you nowhere. Usually in this situation I do something ridiculous to her like bop her on the nose, point at her, and say "NO!" like I'm disciplining a pet. How do you argue with something so ridiculous? You can't. If she's at super-mega-defcon-level-10, just go do something else until she cools off and gets her logic back.
DO NOT APOLOGIZE OR CAVE IN IF YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG. That may be the easiest option in the short-term (she shuts up), but in the long-term she will lose respect for you and your happy relationship will go down the toilet.
-------------------------------------------
Do these things, my future DJs, and you can have a happy relationship. If a woman decides to leave because she can't deal with a real man, so be it. She wasn't worth having around anyway.