Any DJ's out there in a HAPPY, HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

[:-)]

We'e heard the case against being in a monogamous relationship. How getting married hands all power to the woman and turns the man into a beta provider.

Any DJ's out there who haven't been burned by a woman and advocate being in a monogamous relationship?

State your case.

 

[spax]

*crickets*

 

[JohnnyStorm]

I would imagine that most DJ's would have no idea what a happy, healthy monogamous relationship is.

 

[Heisenberg]

Consider the venue that you're posting this question to, OP. Healthy people don't hang out at hospitals.

 

[Dhoulmagus]

This topic is like asking about how to have a successful interracial relationship on stormfront. When I had my gf, I tried avoiding this site as much as possible.

 

[:-)]

When I had my gf, I tried avoiding this site as much as possible.

Can't have been for very long. You've been on this site practically every day consistently since this thread about never having had a gfriend.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=221822

 

[Dhoulmagus]

Can't have been for very long. You've been on this site practically every day consistently since this thread about never having had a gfriend.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=221822

That was like two weeks in and I had no idea what do and she was getting mad at me. I blame y'all.

 

[:-)]

That was like two weeks in and I had no idea what do and she was getting mad at me. I blame y'all.

You blame y'all for what? For her getting mad at you? For you not having an idea what to do? You're not making much sense. Perhaps this is why she got mad at you? For not making any sense? Nonsense is usually the girl's job.

 

[Epimanes]

Yup.. 20years here with same woman. Had some ups and downs.. But finally now that kids are older and I fixed myself from my fvcked upbringing and became more of a captain for my family.. My wife has followed my lead. We are better now than ever. So yes.. It can be done. Its just not easy.

Epi

 

[Dhoulmagus]

You blame y'all for what? For her getting mad at you? For you not having an idea what to do? You're not making much sense. Perhaps this is why she got mad at you? For not making any sense? Nonsense is usually the girl's job.

because this site could make you paranoid about ***. Most of my friends with gfs thinks this site is full of bull and they are fine with letting their gfs hang out with their exes on the reg.

 

[Heisenberg]

because this site could make you paranoid about ***. Most of my friends with gfs thinks this site is full of bull and they are fine with letting their gfs hang out with their exes on the reg.

That's because this site is for men whose relationship skills don't come to them naturally.

Even though I consider myself to more or less have my sht together when it comes to women and even though I can't identify with many of the posts on here, I still visit the site because I need those tune ups and reminders. I've just never been one of those people who come into happy, healthy relationships with ease.

An unfortunate side effect is that a site like this that attracts men genuinely interested in self-improvement so that they can have happy, healthy relationships inevitably attract bitter guys who have been burned in the past and now believe that happy, healthy relationships are a myth. They think those guys who were able to meet a girl, get married and live in harmony without reading the DJ bible are still plugged into the matrix and don't realize how much their life sucks. Of course, that's just bitter dude groupthink.

Fact is, if you want to be a DJ and bang different women for the rest of your life - this site is for you. If you're after a happy, healthy relationship - this site is also for you. The wisdom to be a real man with a solid relationship is on here, you just have to be selective about what wisdom you listen to. Happy, healthy relationships often don't involve the man obsessing over boundaries and disrespect - take too many of those threads to heart and you'll never have a quality LTR - but they do involve keeping a strong frame, keeping your gf/wife off a pedestal, etc - pay attention to that advice here and you'll be golden.

It's all about knowing what you want. Sometimes I read posters on here who write about being a bachelor into their 80s, but I get the vibe it's not what they want deep down. It's just what you say on here to fit in. Some guys say they never want to get married only because they've been burned. Others say they never want to get married or have an LTR because they REALLY don't want to. I'd put the latter in the minority here. Most guys come here because they had their heart broken - if they had their heart broken, it's because at one time they believed in love, marriage and all that stuff.

Identify the advice on here that will help you and internalize that. Trash the rest. No problem wanting to be single, no problem wanting an LTR. But be able to recognize what conventional wisdom on here is toxic to those on the relationship path.

Was that too much of a rant? Was in need of procrastination from work. I'll just bold the important part. Peace.

 

[Epimanes]

Any respectable woman would figure out that hanging out with exes would be an extreme act of disrespect... If the roles were reversed.. They would shyt bricks and have a hissy fit over it. So if they are hanging with exes.. They don't give 2 craps about you.. So go hang with yours til she changes her tune. Especially if you tell her how disrespected you feel and she still does it.

Epi

 

[Dgwizdal]

That's because this site is for men whose relationship skills don't come to them naturally.

Even though I consider myself to more or less have my sht together when it comes to women and even though I can't identify with many of the posts on here, I still visit the site because I need those tune ups and reminders. I've just never been one of those people who come into happy, healthy relationships with ease.

An unfortunate side effect is that a site like this that attracts men genuinely interested in self-improvement so that they can have happy, healthy relationships inevitably attract bitter guys who have been burned in the past and now believe that happy, healthy relationships are a myth. They think those guys who were able to meet a girl, get married and live in harmony without reading the DJ bible are still plugged into the matrix and don't realize how much their life sucks. Of course, that's just bitter dude groupthink.

Fact is, if you want to be a DJ and bang different women for the rest of your life - this site is for you. If you're after a happy, healthy relationship - this site is also for you. The wisdom to be a real man with a solid relationship is on here, you just have to be selective about what wisdom you listen to. Happy, healthy relationships often don't involve the man obsessing over boundaries and disrespect - take too many of those threads to heart and you'll never have a quality LTR - but they do involve keeping a strong frame, keeping your gf/wife off a pedestal, etc - pay attention to that advice here and you'll be golden.

It's all about knowing what you want. Sometimes I read posters on here who write about being a bachelor into their 80s, but I get the vibe it's not what they want deep down. It's just what you say on here to fit in. Some guys say they never want to get married only because they've been burned. Others say they never want to get married or have an LTR because they REALLY don't want to. I'd put the latter in the minority here. Most guys come here because they had their heart broken - if they had their heart broken, it's because at one time they believed in love, marriage and all that stuff.

Identify the advice on here that will help you and internalize that. Trash the rest. No problem wanting to be single, no problem wanting an LTR. But be able to recognize what conventional wisdom on here is toxic to those on the relationship path.

Was that too much of a rant? Was in need of procrastination from work. I'll just bold the important part. Peace.

Great post. +1

 

[Vulpine]

Sure.

Five years with a gal 9 years my junior.

Happier and healthier than I've ever known, thanks to this place.

I'm off-and-on around here, very infrequently in general discussion, simply because of the red-pill side-effected folks posting. Once you understand that you have no duty to anyone but yourself, the woman hate thing just seems silly. Like taking hallucinogens...

"Fear, doubt, and disbelief... you have to let it all go." You have to see and accept what the red-pill shows you. Fight it, and you'll have a bad trip. Take your dose, have your trip, then get on with a future with more potential than before.

But, I latched onto more of the "positive male" elements of advice here, not so much the "PUA tips/tricks/gimmicks" stuff. But everyone evolves at their own rate in their own direction, so, take what you need and leave the rest. Best of luck, bru's.

 

[zekko]

Any DJ's out there who haven't been burned by a woman and advocate being in a monogamous relationship?

I can't say I've never been burned - I was married once and that didn't work out. But I've been living with my current girlfriend for 11 years and I've been quite happy with her. I enjoy having a woman in the house. It's simply a matter of good screening, increasing your value so you have more to choose from, and making sure you've sowed enough wild oats that you've gotten it out of your system. Plus I don't expect any relationship to last forever, so I just take it on a day to day basis.

Rollo is married also, it should be said. He was calling himself the "wife whisperer" for awhile there.

 

[DJ Bax]

My relationship is coming up on a year, actually really enjoying it. I feel like I learned a lot from SS but I don't really need it anymore.

 

[handle]

Yeah, I've had multiple, quite healthy relationships.

I don't really follow a lot of the bs on these forums though. I stick to the basics: make sure your own life is interesting (and do it for yourself, not for girls), don't put up with bullshiet, have genuine interest in people.

It ain't rocket science.

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

I was, but then I got bored, unhappy, and malcontented, so I broke it off.

 

[synergy1]

Nope, but I am planning relocating within a year and do not want to get into something long term prior to leaving. My dating life a few months ago was healthy, but ultimately I have not really met anyone who I would consider to be girlfriend material in quite some time.

 

[zekko]

I know this relationship will work out.

Three weeks isn't very long, but I will say that I knew after the first date with my (now ex) wife that we would end up getting married. I could just tell.

But I wanted to say this: It takes two to make a relationship. Just because you have your sh!t together doesn't mean that she can live up to her part. I bring this up because I had a friend whose relationships always ended because of his drug problems. He finally got himself cleaned up, and he thought because of that he wouldn't have any more relationship problems (he was wrong). But relationships can end for all sorts of reasons, it isn't just about how "alpha" you are or whatever.