You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
It's funny because I had an old oneitis from a couple years ago. She was chubby, maybe a 6 face-wise, but our personalities jibed really well and she was always touching me when she could.Poonani Maker said:Yes, not only that but her sister too who's 4-5 years younger (and fatter)...this Christmas she says, "oh, just the person I was looking for..." when I ran into her at some real estate/financial place. I was like, yeah whatever, you can tell yo sister that too haha (divoreced to a fireman)...both of these b!tches are still single at 34 and 30 years old. The sister I ran into lives in a very old small 4-plex YET works in all these high-end (maybe SHELL-game type scam-type) financial places. It doesn't make sense that she'd be working in all these (you'd expect) high dollar offices, but it's probably the church she goes to and the people she knows, but they have both discarded/overlooked good men who'd sincerely WANTED them in the past/dreamed about them and pursued them because they "were too good." Both used coke that I know of...I never did in my lifetime. Both tomboyish, shot guns etc etc.
I still love her sister, but I'm like now, uh, hah, you just want me for my money NOW. too bad, b!tches
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
This is a good post and what I hope to aspire to be. I'm becoming increasingly more like this. The first time I walked away from a girl of my own accord was scary because I didn't know I actually had that power. Caused much second guessing due to my lack of self-confidence.HalfPUAHalfAFC said:Yes.
I'm pretty quick to next a chick these days, as compared to my past.
I'll put in my bid (i.e., flirt, ask out, try to bed, and so on... not always in that order) and if she bites, I'll pursue more.
If is a little coy (i.e., predictable sh!ttest to see if you are "sincere" about your interest), I might pursue just a bit more depending on how hot she is and what my own interest level is.
All that said, if she simply doesn't play along, I assume either (1) she has no interest or (2) she has terrible girl-game. I have no patience with either.
So, I next time. If I see the out again, I MIGHT be cordial, but I do not go out of my way to talk to them, AT ALL. If it's unavoidable, I'll engage briefly, but simply no orbiting whatsoever. She missed her opportunity.
And, I find, if you treat them like you simply DO NOT GIVE A DAM about them and their opinion of you anymore, they suddenly try to get your attention, try to elicit from you some validation, etc. I don't give it to them unless they really, really, work for it. Seldom happens.
Now, let me answer your question more directly...
What happens to me, my perceptions, during this process? (1) I've judged her and her either her bad attitude and/or her lousy girl game. She comes out the loser here. (2) Any puzzy goggles I might have been wearing earlier increasingly disappear. Girls I was all into subsequently sometime seem pathetic, or ordinary, or pitiable. Me to self: "I can't believe I really wanted to hit that, get her out... she now seems so transparent and shallow." And this not so much retrospective rationalization but rather once you've shut down your interest and pursuit you can perspective and perception those things were fogging up in the first place.
Last year, there were three girls I not only wanted to bang but also hoped to date, spin, and maybe in turn into a GF. I failed... or rather, I failed as did each of them. Too much BS, coyness, nonsense, bad girl game, etc. I walked away from each.
Today, each of them are very friendly with me when I see them. That is, I didn't blow my "value" as a good guy to know and have pleasant interactions with.
But, seeing them how I see them know, there's not a chance in the world I'd date ANY of them. Bang them? Yup....once. Date? NO WAY
Funny how things work/look once you've internalized the willingness to walk away. "Oneitis" basically becomes a thing of your past (or, at least, increasingly and increasingly so).
Good luck!