"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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anti-flake technique for online chick?

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poohead

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yesterday i saw this one girl from a dating site that i always thought was cute and messaged her. we exchanged some messages about movies and amusement parks, then i ask her if she would like to go out for coffee sometime? she emails me back 'SURE! IS WED OR THURS BETTER FOR YOU?' - i email her that wed is better for me, and to call me (then i leave her my number). she tells me that she will call me tomorrow (it's today now). she hasn't called yet - and i see she has logged on and off already today. is there anything i can do at this point to avoid the flake/blow off?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Macgyver

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Not necessarily you're screwed.

Email her quick and say something came up that you can't make it. Get her number and then try to build rapport before even asking her on a date.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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poohead

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well, she still flaked. no call.
unless she meant 'i'll call you later' as in, not tonight. i hate this type of behavior.
 
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micams

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To poolhead

Hi poohead.
I call u later in woman language = "I'm OK that u call me".
Why won't u call her? It's a test she wants to see if u have the balls to do it as she senses that u are a little on the shy side, even if she proposes to call u(in that case, it's highly likely that she will NOT call u), better to reassure her in ur masculinity by saying "No thanks, I will call u".
This exact situation happened a long time ago for me, I managed it as I'm advising u right now and I had one of the better LTR of all my life ;-)
 
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poohead

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i never got her number - i just gave her mine.

i sent her this message, i'm not sure if this is a dj thing to say but here's the message i sent her:

you didn't call last night. it's really annoying when people don't do what they say they will. don't bother calling anymore.
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should i have sent that? i'm tired of not calling girls on their annoying flakey behavior. they fcking lie about everything.
 
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StrongBad

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HTML: 
you didn't call last night. it's really annoying when people don't do what they say they will. don't bother calling anymore.
You let her know that she got to you and upset you.

Unless your objective was to truly have her not be interested in you anymore, this was a bad move.
 
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poohead

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not putting up with second class behavior anymore. more men should do the same and then we wouldn't have to deal with all the crap women dish out all the time in dating.

i thought part of being a dj was to be able to walk away at any time, and respect yourself first and not put up with bad behavior from anyone. i don't really care if she calls. she had her chance.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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StrongBad

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poohead said:
i thought part of being a dj was to be able to walk away at any time, and respect yourself first and not put up with bad behavior from anyone. i don't really care if she calls. she had her chance.
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It is. If you don't care about her anymore then just do that...walk away. No need to make a fuss or even tell her that you're done with her, because that shows she upset you enough to cause you to get some sort of revenge, however small it may be.
 
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poohead

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it's weird how women lie all the time about little things like this - i'll call, or they flake out on a date - these are lies. and yet if you lie when you're in a relationship with them, about anything - the last girl i was with would not let it die that i lied about seeing 'walk the line' - they will never let you forget it. the double standard is just ridiculous.
 
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StrongBad

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poohead said:
it's weird how women lie all the time about little things like this - i'll call, or they flake out on a date - these are lies. and yet if you lie when you're in a relationship with them, about anything - the last girl i was with would not let it die that i lied about seeing 'walk the line' - they will never let you forget it. the double standard is just ridiculous.
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To be fair, "I'll call you" could indeed be woman-speak for "I'm not going to call you". That's why it was mentioned upthread by someone that you should be the one getting the number and calling her. The vast majority of women expect this and want this out of the man. They want you to initiate. By putting the ball in her court you might have caused her interest to dwindle.

No worries, though. Just keep it in mind for next time. It sounds like this girl wasn't that big of a deal to begin with.
 
logicallefty

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poohead said:
i never got her number - i just gave her mine.

i sent her this message, i'm not sure if this is a dj thing to say but here's the message i sent her:

you didn't call last night. it's really annoying when people don't do what they say they will. don't bother calling anymore.

should i have sent that? i'm tired of not calling girls on their annoying flakey behavior. they fcking lie about everything.
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Little harsh on the words there poohead, but I agree with your goal there 100%. You were trying to tell her you ain't gonna take her ****, and like you said in your other post, more men need to do this..

I have been in this situation before, and what I did was say "Hey! I didn't hear from you last night.. You were prolly tied up and that worked out well because I was too. My good friend Sarah (make up some chicks name) is going through a divorce right now, having a hard time, and needed to talk to me. I'll talk to you later then! :)" (hmm, see, now shes wondering if Sarah is going to be a threat to her, rut row)..

After this, dont call her.. Let her wonder whats up with you, and if she is even remotely interested in you at all, you will hear from her soon! ;-)
 
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poohead

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my inner game needs a lot of work. i'm quick to give people a piece of my mind, then i regret it later. i have to work on being cool and developing my observing ego
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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logicallefty

logicallefty

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Well you are a good man for being able to see your weaknesses and admit them.. Kudos for that..

I say this in all honesty, and I am not affiliated in any way; the best advise i can give you or anyone about improving their game is simply to go to sosuave.com and READ READ READ. The more you read there, the better your game will get. I speak from experience and speak with results. ;-)
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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