I don't know what your situation is MrPwr but I'll offer a slightly different angle. When I wasn't married, ejection seemed to be the right move to everything. My wife doesn't wear her ring and I don't wear one either, it has no political significance it's just we are too lazy to wear those thing, I think she may have even lost it [it cost me $100 and I didn't buy one till 5 years ago (SEARS fire sale)]. She's a dunce. I've never had any problems getting sex, however, I think my sex drive is pretty low due to a pretty big genetic problem I have. I didn't pay anything for our wedding, we went to pizza hut with my mom.
Maybe she was just being lazy, she is wearing it today, but last night I went out after school, no explanation of where I was going or who with just said "going out, dont wait up"
but also kudos for saving $$ on that stuff, it's always so expensive and if your girl is pragmatic and fine with it then winner!
I had a mate who had engagement an party and were charged 10s of thousands less than the quote for a wedding (though quotes were for different locations) and then they surprised everyone (the premisis manager included) when the celebrant arrived and married them on the spot. Great tactic for knowing who your friends are, and saving money, but I heard the manager was spewing!
That said, my wife still holds my hand and grabs onto me. I walk her to work everyday, she'd prefer it if I could walk her home too [she works not far, and unfortunately we have a bunch of homeless trash around]. She currently works much more than I do, we are in the same boat you and I. She works a burger flipping job and her hours are long and quite difficult. I'm studying full time trying to get this stupid piece of paper finished. I've been seriously sick a number of times through our 10 year marriage where she had to take over the bills. She took a pretty huge hiatus from work also when I was sick and working, I wanted to have her around all the time. I spend pretty well, most of my day with my wife when she's not working. So I don't think living off of a woman is necessarily a bad thing, my old man has been doing it since I was born haha. We have enough money saved where neither of us have to work again if we don't want to, but she chooses to anyway. [She is a minimalist because she came from a POOR background]
Dude choosing to work is a good thing, for men especially but also just humans in general. It doesn't even necessarily have to be hard work, just challenge. We are beasts of burden. I hope your health picks up, and good luck with your paper! go get it my man!
When I have an issue with my wife, I will tell her straight and we discuss it until it's not an issue anymore. We share the same political leanings and we always have something to talk about. I'm wondering if you and your wife are on the same political spectrum. You'd be surprised how much this will factor into your sex life.
Thats a pretty good insight, dude. I have had a wavering political compass over the years, though I don't like politics it is a necessary skill to have/understand as an engineer (engineering firms are immensely political, but also directly with government, PR etc) and I have have been actively trying to be more involved with that stuff, or just more aware, mostly how it pertains to engineering related things (energy projects in australia are massively political right now). She is not political at all** and I know political talk bothers her though we do share something else that I think she will have a hard time finding elsewhere....
She is "vegan" and I am "plant based" (pretty simple, no meat, no dairy). I bodybuild so yes I get enough protein
I think that is very important, one of those things like politics that if you don't have aligning values then it causes issues.
How many real life adventures have you been on with your wife? I'm betting the answer is 0. If you don't have kids, it's time to plan one. I'm always chasing something and pulling her along with me. You need to make her feel like you are the only thing holding back the wolves in the world because frequently on an adventure, that is absolutely the case. Likely, she's too comfortable in her surroundings. Where we live, the threat of homeless ****heads or 'the leftist mob' is ever present, not to mention she attracts weird nerdy guys that creep her out[she's asian]. But when we were in China, I was close to death a couple of times, sick frequently, she was forever picking me up off the ground, arranging things at the hospital, making sure I wasn't, you know, dead. In China hospitals are not good places and she'd stay at my bed side the whole night/day... sleeping on chairs and what have you. She helped me work through my brother's death, she's been there when I got fired (multiple times). She's been there when I've been in a couple of fights. We've crossed the world together. No one knows me better than her. She was with me when I was broke and is still with me now that we're retiring. A lot of the stuff in my life has been an uphill battle but she's been with me the whole way.
I'm wondering, has your wife also experienced this? How easy is your life? How much work does your wife have to do to maintain it? How many times have you had to rely on your wife to not die? The adventures I'm talking about are the ones where you are doing things that 99% of people don't do. Have you guys been to the pyramids already? Have you gone scuba diving? Have you played Werewolf?
How much time outside of 'regular life' do you spend together? What goals are you trying to achieve together? If you can't have kids [like I can't] is there enough love there to keep her around? What I'm trying to say is that our life has been filled with massive ups and downs to make regular life look like a vacation. We've gone back to school together, studied together, etc etc. I also study online and she sits nearby watching her shows. Do you play any video games together? Do you do any activities together? How much time do you really spend together outside of the bedroom? How often do you guys hug or kiss each other when you're not horny? How often does she laugh at your jokes? My wife is in a state of constant giggles, making her laugh is fun and easy. How often do you say "I love you" when you actually mean to say "thank you"?
Holy cow dude that's intense! glad you made it through, those sound like galvanising experiences for you two. We don't have such experiences
As for the last part, those are what our relationship experiences mostly consist of. We spend zero time together in the bedroom (hence the sexless part) So the time we spend together consists of meals, watching shows (she watches an insane amount of TV, so I just join in sometimes) playing video games together (the ones she likes) the only intimacy we have is random hugs and kisses at home and hand holding initiated by her and always in public....)
Oh man, we have done a lot*** of travel. All over canada, all over europe, new zealand, parts of australia, covid hit and has restricted us a bit but we don't even need to wear masks here, there is no covid at all where I am so "holidays" and adventures are encouraged to the point where there is a state funded "holiday stimulus" for those who wish to take a trip outside of typical break periods. (not sure where you are but aussies are spoiled with the amount of paid leave we are required to have by law)
My wife had a fairly traumatic upbringing from start to finish, has yours gone through hell and back in her childhood? Sometimes a little jolt of reality is necessary. The western decadence is contributing to marriages failing. If you think, during the depression, women weren't running off on their men, grandma and grandpa during WW2, weren't having discussions about sex, they were popping out armies of children. Those pairings were on adventures in hellscapes, they only had each other to survive. It was grandma and grandpa against the world. [My grandfather was in Normandy]
Hats off to your Grandfather, respect. My Grandfather was an Anzac, was a stoic dude. I didn't know him well and was still in my teens when he died. The world was different back then. Men had a well defined role in the world, and so did women, and they just accepted it and made it work. It wasn't perfect for sure. My girl has had it "sweet" almost too good from my perspective. I didn't have a "tough" life by many people's standards but I grew up dirt poor (by western standards) and had the turmoil of a broken family. She by comparison wasn't "wealthy" but had stable supporting parents all the way up. While she was working her arse off to buy a house, I was trying not to be homeless.
You might think I'm nuts and I don't really care TBH but I saw some UFOs in my twenties up close in Mexico. My next adventure is to go back to where I was and see if they're still there. Already got everything lined up, just need a pilot and a plane now. How willing is your wife to do some crazy stuff with you?
At a glance I am not sure if she would do anything "crazy" with me. When I was trying to propose - before I red pilled - I was trying to get her to go hiking with me (to reinvent some previous great experiences we had together on holiday) and It was really difficult to get her to commit to anything. I doubt she would go UFO hunting with me that's for sure
Wow thanks for this epic input!
