djokovic77
Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 26, 2012
- Messages
- 78
- Reaction score
- 4
This is me. Any tips for improvement?
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You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Why is it that people expect everyone to like them let alone be attracted to them? Some guys could have a million girls after them and just ONE who wasn't would make a guy feel unattractive.djokovic77 said:I think I am pretty AFC to be honest. I'm 22, gonna be 23 in August. I get hit on a fair amount; in fact my only pickups are basically me being hit on. Occasionally I'll work up the nerve to approach. Generally, when I go out (I'm going out later tonight), I'll get hit on once or twice, but only close (bang or at least lead to a bang) one out of like every 4 times.
The biggest thing is in the girls who I don't hit on/don't hit on me I feel bad energy from them to me. I think it's in my head/AFC. I basically need approval or feel like there is something wrong with how I look. I sometimes look to see if girls just brush by the other guys the same way they do to me. I also have occasional mild acne flareups related to food/digestive issues which I'm getting help for; it doesn't really change the way I look that much but it can affect confidence.
Basically, I guess I feel like good looking guys would be swarmed everywhere they go lol.
Focus on what I have in bold.djokovic77 said:I think I am pretty AFC to be honest. I'm 22, gonna be 23 in August. I get hit on a fair amount; in fact my only pickups are basically me being hit on. Occasionally I'll work up the nerve to approach. Generally, when I go out (I'm going out later tonight), I'll get hit on once or twice, but only close (bang or at least lead to a bang) one out of like every 4 times.
If you get girls hitting on you, even once a night, AND you are closing one out of FOUR, you are ahead of 90% of guys.
The biggest thing is in the girls who I don't hit on/don't hit on me I feel bad energy from them to me. I think it's in my head/AFC. I basically need approval or feel like there is something wrong with how I look. I sometimes look to see if girls just brush by the other guys the same way they do to me. I also have occasional mild acne flareups related to food/digestive issues which I'm getting help for; it doesn't really change the way I look that much but it can affect confidence.
Basically, I guess I feel like good looking guys would be swarmed everywhere they go lol.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
I recommend ALL of you get the F*CK off my message board tonight and go out to a busy nightclub and PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE. No excuses.Leopold said:that's the problem... I never been to bars nor clubs.
I get hit a lot by elder woman. Seriously, a LOT. That's where most of my flirts comes from.
Girls my ages just plainly ignore me or just pretend to do so.
Need to visit one of those places and see how it goes. I just dont want to go alone due to lack of experience.
What other places do you recommend?
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.