"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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another 2nd "date" question

thirdtimescharm

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First meeting was a sleepover...great fun, but leaving room for more. Attration level high. Good contact since, so it's gone beyond one-night stand.

Tomorrow night, I am supposed to attend a friend's birthday dinner.

Is it appropriate to invite her to attend with me? Honestly, I'd probably rather just go be anywhere alone with her, and considering our first time together was a trip straight back to my apartment, I'm not feeling the "dinner with friends" is the right direction just yet.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Andy_Dufresne

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Hey..I think your gut has provided you with the answer.
 

thirdtimescharm

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Yea Andy, you are right. I'm just torn on how to best make our next rendezvous happen.
 

thirdtimescharm

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As much as I might get taken to task for this, I emailed her in a fairly light tone, without saying when, that I wanted to get together again. Her response was definite: she said she will call me tomorrow to make a plan, and would like to hang out again.

Now, I don't think this is a bad thing since it will be a chance for her to prove herself to me. If she calls, she shows that she does what she says. If she doesn't, it's an easy "next."
 

thirdtimescharm

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The good news is that this woman did call me as advertsied and we saw each other again last night. She attended a show last night with friends, while I went to a street fest on my own but ended up running into a bunch of people I know. And then later in the evening, she texted me and she came to the bar where I was, and life is good.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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