"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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another 2nd "date" question

thirdtimescharm

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First meeting was a sleepover...great fun, but leaving room for more. Attration level high. Good contact since, so it's gone beyond one-night stand.

Tomorrow night, I am supposed to attend a friend's birthday dinner.

Is it appropriate to invite her to attend with me? Honestly, I'd probably rather just go be anywhere alone with her, and considering our first time together was a trip straight back to my apartment, I'm not feeling the "dinner with friends" is the right direction just yet.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Andy_Dufresne

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Hey..I think your gut has provided you with the answer.
 

thirdtimescharm

Senior Don Juan
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Yea Andy, you are right. I'm just torn on how to best make our next rendezvous happen.
 

thirdtimescharm

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As much as I might get taken to task for this, I emailed her in a fairly light tone, without saying when, that I wanted to get together again. Her response was definite: she said she will call me tomorrow to make a plan, and would like to hang out again.

Now, I don't think this is a bad thing since it will be a chance for her to prove herself to me. If she calls, she shows that she does what she says. If she doesn't, it's an easy "next."
 

thirdtimescharm

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The good news is that this woman did call me as advertsied and we saw each other again last night. She attended a show last night with friends, while I went to a street fest on my own but ended up running into a bunch of people I know. And then later in the evening, she texted me and she came to the bar where I was, and life is good.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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