"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Am I being gamed back?

Trump

Banned
Joined
Mar 12, 2011
Messages
3,000
Reaction score
1,669
Went on a 3rd date open the date with a kiss. Everything went swimmingly. You know light banter, asking about my dating life, infinte touching and kissing.
She kept contact the next day and i offered dinner in a few days time, at my place she seemed ecstatic asked what i was going to cook her and then vanished.

Lol

What to make of this? Low interest? Gaming me?
You waited too long to have sex with her. 3rd date is when it should have happened, By the time you offered dinner in a few days time, she could already been pregnant by another guy.

You have to strike when the iron is hot. Unless you are a Hollywood Star, don’t assume it will always be hot.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Spaz

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
8,337
Reaction score
6,878
You waited too long to have sex with her. 3rd date is when it should have happened, By the time you offered dinner in a few days time, she could already been pregnant by another guy.

You have to strike when the iron is hot. Unless you are a Hollywood Star, don’t assume it will always be hot.
Mostly true.

But there's some women due to her upbringing might require additional time and effort.

If OP is looking to just bang, then 3 dates should be a deal breaker, especially in cities.
 

ace88

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 7, 2014
Messages
73
Reaction score
11
You waited too long to have sex with her. 3rd date is when it should have happened, By the time you offered dinner in a few days time, she could already been pregnant by another guy.

You have to strike when the iron is hot. Unless you are a Hollywood Star, don’t assume it will always be hot.
The painters were in town 3rd date
 

Mazer

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 5, 2017
Messages
801
Reaction score
890
Age
48
Third date and just a kiss? You should at least be making out with the woman by the third date. Some women will go out with you, spend your money and then when it’s time to “Netflix and chill” they disappear because they don’t want to have sex with you and it’s usually because she is still banging her ex or she is bored. I have never had any long term success with women who make you wait and like they say, the wait is never worth it.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,755
Reaction score
9,955
You gotta be careful with her getting comfortable though cause then you have one foot in the friend zone and the other on a banana peel. Thinking back to every girl that came right out and admitted to me without me asking, “I feel completely safe and trust you”, I never slept with a single one of them.
I'm not saying that you need to wait six months. But I think "comfort" as a strategy is underrated here. Certainly it's a balancing act, and you don't want to be all comfort and no excitement/attraction. But comfort is a factor that should be included in there somewhere.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Tilex

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 12, 2018
Messages
899
Reaction score
1,029
I have certain standards when it comes to this sh!t.
And you should too!

My standards = progress
I have to feel like I'm not wasting my time.
If the third date or third meeting feels worse than the first date, I'm dropping her ASAP.
This is not progress, it's a setback.
 

ace88

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 7, 2014
Messages
73
Reaction score
11
Third date and just a kiss? You should at least be making out with the woman by the third date. Some women will go out with you, spend your money and then when it’s time to “Netflix and chill” they disappear because they don’t want to have sex with you and it’s usually because she is still banging her ex or she is bored. I have never had any long term success with women who make you wait and like they say, the wait is never worth it.
Yeah making out not kissing. I say kissing i mean make out.
 

ace88

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 7, 2014
Messages
73
Reaction score
11
I have certain standards when it comes to this sh!t.
And you should too!

My standards = progress
I have to feel like I'm not wasting my time.
If the third date or third meeting feels worse than the first date, I'm dropping her ASAP.
This is not progress, it's a setback.
Same here. There is constant progress when we are toghether.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

Murk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 17, 2017
Messages
4,359
Reaction score
3,322
Age
37
Location
London
Not gonna bother reading all the posts here.

She likely had a guy in her life that came back into the frame, you can’t win against this. Or, she just wasn’t feeling you. Either way you need to dust yourself off and keep it moving.
 

ubercat

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 6, 2015
Messages
3,671
Reaction score
2,309
Location
Australia
Y not go dual strategy. Treat it like a flake. Reach out a week later with a Hi. In the meantime stack more plates. One of the many benefits of plating is u don't care too much when they give it up as your getting plenty anyway. Her better option may fall through she LL be all worked up and bounce back to you and you LL be nuts deep. Happened to moi many times. Seldom stable but it all adds to your rotation and experience.
 
Top