"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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...after the first kiss

Arizona iced tea

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last night i went to the movies with a girl that ive liked for years, i know for a fact that at times she liked me too. we've been hanging out alot lately and been having a pretty good time. we would go bowling or see a movie or something, and then just sit around and talk, and eventually she would have to go, and there would be a nice pause (perfect time for a goodbye kiss) but i was to much off a ***** to do anything. so i would say "i had fun, see you soon... blah blah" and she would go.

yesterday i decided that i was going to go for it. and to make a long story short, i did. this was my first kiss and it was horribly done (lol) but i also think it was hers. i was so nervous that i just went out and asked "can i kiss you?" and she said ok. after some crappy kissing i pretty much just said my goodbyes and left.

anyway, what im asking here is how should i talk to her next and what should i say? we text alot and sometimes talk on the phone. i want to make it as un-awkward as possible, and hopefully it will not be the last time :D
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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wabu07

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to make it un akward as possible. keep doing what you were doing.
 

wabu07

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to make it un akward as possible. keep doing what you were doing.
 

Lust

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Arizona iced tea said:
last night i went to the movies with a girl that ive liked for years, i know for a fact that at times she liked me too. we've been hanging out alot lately and been having a pretty good time. we would go bowling or see a movie or something, and then just sit around and talk, and eventually she would have to go, and there would be a nice pause (perfect time for a goodbye kiss) but i was to much off a ***** to do anything. so i would say "i had fun, see you soon... blah blah" and she would go.

yesterday i decided that i was going to go for it. and to make a long story short, i did. this was my first kiss and it was horribly done (lol) but i also think it was hers. i was so nervous that i just went out and asked "can i kiss you?" and she said ok. after some crappy kissing i pretty much just said my goodbyes and left.

anyway, what im asking here is how should i talk to her next and what should i say? we text alot and sometimes talk on the phone. i want to make it as un-awkward as possible, and hopefully it will not be the last time :D
Don't ever ask for the womans permission.

"Can I kiss you?" = Horrible. You asking is giving her the power and making you seem like you don't have the balls to take the lead and do things yourself.

Next time, just tell her "Close your eyes" and go for it.

If you don't want to make it awkward, the best advice is to forget about it. You don't want that uncomfortable feeling, well, stop dwelling on it so much and pretend it was normal, because it is.
 

Arizona iced tea

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Lust said:
Don't ever ask for the womans permission.

"Can I kiss you?" = Horrible. You asking is giving her the power and making you seem like you don't have the balls to take the lead and do things yourself.
haha, i know i know i know. but i was probably more nervous than i have ever been in my life, and it was a move of desperation. and amazingly it worked :D . as i see it it was way better than just leaving without saying anything, which was probably the next option in my head.

honestly, i think just playing it off isnt going to work... we are both shy and it will just be weird unless it is brought out into the open, and i dont think talking about it would necessarily be a bad thing. or am i all wrong??? lol
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Lust

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Arizona iced tea said:
haha, i know i know i know. but i was probably more nervous than i have ever been in my life, and it was a move of desperation. and amazingly it worked :D . as i see it it was way better than just leaving without saying anything, which was probably the next option in my head.

honestly, i think just playing it off isnt going to work... we are both shy and it will just be weird unless it is brought out into the open, and i dont think talking about it would necessarily be a bad thing. or am i all wrong??? lol
Well you could not mention it, and just do whatever you normally do on the phone, then next date, you kiss her, except without asking, telling her, commanding her to close her eyes. Leading the interaction.

Or, you could inject some humor into it and joke around about how bad the kiss was. Eg.

"Haha yeah, that was a bad kiss. I think I have to go home and practice, hey, hurry up and tell me how to get lipstick off my mirrors, it's pissing me off!"

It doesn't have to be incredibly funny to work. It could be something as simple as "Oh god that was such a crappy kiss, haha, I'll make it up to you later" then don't wait for a response and just talk about whatever you guys normally talk about.

Either way, I think the position your in, you can do anything, even if you screw it up a bit, it's not make or break, just make sure the next kiss is good.
 

Arizona iced tea

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Lust said:
Well you could not mention it, and just do whatever you normally do on the phone, then next date, you kiss her, except without asking, telling her, commanding her to close her eyes. Leading the interaction.

Or, you could inject some humor into it and joke around about how bad the kiss was. Eg.

"Haha yeah, that was a bad kiss. I think I have to go home and practice, hey, hurry up and tell me how to get lipstick off my mirrors, it's pissing me off!"

It doesn't have to be incredibly funny to work. It could be something as simple as "Oh god that was such a crappy kiss, haha, I'll make it up to you later" then don't wait for a response and just talk about whatever you guys normally talk about.

Either way, I think the position your in, you can do anything, even if you screw it up a bit, it's not make or break, just make sure the next kiss is good.
i was thinking i would joke around about it... and i will :p . also, this has its good and bad parts to it, but she is actually moving 2000 miles away in about 3 weeks... so if i messed up it wouldnt be the end of the world, but im going to hate to see her go...
 
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