After first dates they don't initiate contact

[BackInTheGame78]

I've been on a number of first dates these last few weeks and all apart from one (which raised red flags) have not actively initiated contact/messages. They always reply fast and we have a good back and forth, but nothing initiating on their own. I don't act particularly different from my usual self, which is a bit reserved but with joking humor thrown here and there, as I'm a serious type. Is this the case for most of you guys' first dates as well, after the first date, you have to initiate contact 90-100% of the time?

It means she isn't that into you.

She might go out with you again, sometimes even many times, but she will still be looking for someone better to replace you at some point.

Can't think of a case a woman didn't message me first after a first date where I ended up banging here. Although usually it's because I won't initiate with them right away after and they almost always will message me the by the next morning if not right after the date...

 

[user252009]

Can't think of a case a woman didn't message me first after a first date where I ended up banging here. Although usually it's because I won't initiate with them right away after and they almost always will message me the by the next morning if not right after the date...

Great that it’s working for you

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Great that it’s working for you

I meant that I can't think of a case where I ended up banging a woman who didn't message me first after a date...there have been times they didn't and basically it was always the same...most boring answers and then either one or two more dates or a flake or a we didn't have a connection nonsense.

 

[user252009]

How do you tell someone you want to bed them? You make sexual innuendos, escalate, have fun, touching, kissing.
How do you tell someone you want a platonic relationship? Talking about problems, work, doing mundane stuff, keeping each other at an arms length (which she is basically doing to you right now by leaving you on read lol)

A lot of that also depends on the character - I'm a reserved person who's introverted on top of everything, so I do that extremely rarely, if ever

 

[Rainrain]

A lot of that also depends on the character - I'm a reserved person who's introverted on top of everything, so I do that extremely rarely, if ever

Maybe that’s your problem. You are either not masculine enough or you are too scared show vulnerability of your wants and needs. Maybe these girl are texting back other men that know how to lead, know what they want from them, they are fun, and have no irrational fear of being rejected.

Also, you should review the male and female dynamics where women are the gatekeepers of sex and men are the gatekeepers of relationships. You should be showing them the time of your life, not looking to get married on the first date.

 

[user252009]

Maybe that’s your problem. You are either not masculine enough or you are too scared show vulnerability of your wants and needs. Maybe these girl are texting back other men that know how to lead, know what they want from them, they are fun, and have no irrational fear of being rejected.

Also, you should review the male and female dynamics where women are the gatekeepers of sex and men are the gatekeepers of relationships. You should be showing them the time of your life, not looking to get married on the first date.

What do guys do on first dates to “show them the time of their lives”? As soon as someone says that my mind immediately goes to some sport or expensive undertaking. I’m not investing a lot of money into first dates anymore because that went to waste when she got a nice dinner and then didn’t want to meet up afterwards anymore. I’m not a sporty person and I’m quite reserved.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Insert the term sneating into your favorite search engine…

 

[BillyPilgrim]

What do guys do on first dates to “show them the time of their lives”? I’m not a sporty person and I’m quite reserved.

2 things - screen for high interest and not be reserved.

 

[user252009]

2 things - screen for high interest and not be reserved.

This doesn’t help at all. I know how to read IOI and 90% of dates are just regular dates, you know, meeting another human being and talking to them.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

This doesn’t help at all. I know how to read IOI and 90% of dates are just regular dates, you know, meeting another human being and talking to them.

You read their interest level before the date, that's why I said to "screen". Having an established recruiting and vetting process enables this. If you're using OLD, have a loose template you use when messaging and texting them so you can compare each potential plate's response to the ones you have successfully seduced.

Also read the bios and photos so you can recognize the jaded and difficult ones and avoid engaging with them.

 

[user252009]

You read their interest level before the date, that's why I said to "screen". Having an established recruiting and vetting process enables this. If you're using OLD, have a loose template you use when messaging and texting them so you can compare each potential plate's response to the ones you have successfully seduced.

Also read the bios and photos so you can recognize the jaded and difficult ones and avoid engaging with them.

This is all game speak, and I’m pretty sick and tired of it. I’ve had MUCH better results back before I let all this crap affect my behavior with women

 

[manfrombelow]

This doesn’t help at all. I know how to read IOI and 90% of dates are just regular dates, you know, meeting another human being and talking to them.

There's a thing called "getting rusty at things you used to be good at" buddy, Google it up.

 

[user252009]

There's a thing called "getting rusty at things you used to be good at" buddy, Google it up.

Nope - I had a LOT more success with women in my 20’s when I was blue pilled. Being older and wiser, reaching my highest status ever in life hasn’t helped me with women at all. It’s living in a different country that’s made all the difference. Different culture, characters, communication styles and everything else has changed things a whole lot.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Nope - I had a LOT more success with women in my 20’s when I was blue pilled. Being older and wiser, reaching my highest status ever in life hasn’t helped me with women at all. It’s living in a different country that’s made all the difference. Different culture, characters, communication styles and everything else has changed things a whole lot.

Apologies if you've mentioned it in this thread, but what countries are involved?

 

[user252009]

Apologies if you've mentioned it in this thread, but what countries are involved?

I'm living in Germany but am originally from a country in southern Europe

 

[Aesthetix29]

I asked a girl I’ve just recently become reacquainted with if she was free this weekend to do something … she said that she was working sat/sun which I know that she does but made a counter offer that she was free Friday … so we have agreed to go out then instead … I’m going to make it my mission to get a kiss out of it at the very least otherwise I risk becoming a orbiter/friend-zoned … I would want to know one way or the other before being led up the garden path.

The pluses are she’s the one that reached out to me after I’ve been off the grid for a while, we texted but rather than chat like buddies I made it abundantly clear that I want more than that, now it’s on me to seal the deal and escalate this further sexually …

my usual tactic would be to keep chatting almost daily until friend zoned ha ha … where as this time we have set a date and I’ve left it at that … sometimes less is better.

Will keep you all informed on the progress of the situation guys.

 

[user252009]

I asked a girl I’ve just recently become reacquainted with if she was free this weekend to do something … she said that she was working sat/sun which I know that she does but made a counter offer that she was free Friday … so we have agreed to go out then instead … I’m going to make it my mission to get a kiss out of it at the very least otherwise I risk becoming a orbiter/friend-zoned … I would want to know one way or the other before being led up the garden path.

The pluses are she’s the one that reached out to me after I’ve been off the grid for a while, we texted but rather than chat like buddies I made it abundantly clear that I want more than that, now it’s on me to seal the deal and escalate this further sexually …

my usual tactic would be to keep chatting almost daily until friend zoned ha ha … where as this time we have set a date and I’ve left it at that … sometimes less is better.

Will keep you all informed on the progress of the situation guys.

Any update?

 

[Aesthetix29]

Any update?

yes she bailed on me, nexted it