"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Advice

T

tbstimber12

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In need of Advice

So I've been an avid Don Juan reader for a few years now, and just finally registered for the forums because I need some advice.

I have this friend who I've been friends with for a little over 2 years. We initially became friends through a buddy of mine, and we were friends because we both were seeing other people at the time.

I never really thought of her as "more than a friend" until we had a little get together about a month ago when we went to a swing dance together.

She gave all the signs. Kino, flirting, it was all there, and it really made me change my mind about just being a friend with her.

After the date I basically told her I was interested in her, and that would couldn't just "be friends" anymore. I gave her some time to think about it and told her when I get back in town to let me know.

Did I handle this right??? Where should I go from here?? Thanks.
 
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"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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L

Life-Trainee

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You probably made things worse. You turned what could've been an emotional decision into a rational one for her causing her to overanalyze the situation via introspection.
 
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thefonz

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Re: In need of Advice

Originally posted by tbstimber12
So I've been an avid Don Juan reader for a few years now, and just finally registered for the forums because I need some advice.
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I think your lying.....why would would you tell her your feelings if you were an avid reader?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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tbstimber12

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I never said

I never said I told her my feeling...I am not in love with this girl...I said I was interested in dating her...not being her friend
 
P

PuertoRican_Lover

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You should have asked us first before you put your foot in your mouth - now it soesn't matter - the deed has been done!!

Whatever you do don't ask her again or initiate the call!!
 
S

SamePendo

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If I come up to you, and start telling you reasons on why I'm better than you, and everyone else in the world... telling you about my accomplishments, women i've nailed, will you believe me?

Would you expect me to be this person, if you see me with a hot GF, charismatic persona, positive, etc?

My point?

Don't ever let whatever you have to say get in the way of whatever you want to do.

What do I mean?

Don't talk, act. Show her whatever you want to show her, with actions, DJ actions, that is.
 
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tbstimber12

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Yea I definately figured to let her make the next move, but I didn't think I could get off the "friend" ladder if I didn't tell her that I could just be her friend anymore.

Thanks for the advice everyone
 
P

PuertoRican_Lover

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Originally posted by tbstimber12
Y.. but I didn't think I could get off the "friend" ladder if I didn't tell her that I could just be her friend anymore.
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You should have asked her out dancing and grab her hand to slow dance and then gone for the kiss!! If she complys then you may have something if she would have turned her head in disgust then you would have known your answer.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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