"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Advice

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tbstimber12

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In need of Advice

So I've been an avid Don Juan reader for a few years now, and just finally registered for the forums because I need some advice.

I have this friend who I've been friends with for a little over 2 years. We initially became friends through a buddy of mine, and we were friends because we both were seeing other people at the time.

I never really thought of her as "more than a friend" until we had a little get together about a month ago when we went to a swing dance together.

She gave all the signs. Kino, flirting, it was all there, and it really made me change my mind about just being a friend with her.

After the date I basically told her I was interested in her, and that would couldn't just "be friends" anymore. I gave her some time to think about it and told her when I get back in town to let me know.

Did I handle this right??? Where should I go from here?? Thanks.
 
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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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L

Life-Trainee

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You probably made things worse. You turned what could've been an emotional decision into a rational one for her causing her to overanalyze the situation via introspection.
 
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thefonz

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Re: In need of Advice

Originally posted by tbstimber12
So I've been an avid Don Juan reader for a few years now, and just finally registered for the forums because I need some advice.
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I think your lying.....why would would you tell her your feelings if you were an avid reader?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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tbstimber12

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I never said

I never said I told her my feeling...I am not in love with this girl...I said I was interested in dating her...not being her friend
 
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PuertoRican_Lover

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You should have asked us first before you put your foot in your mouth - now it soesn't matter - the deed has been done!!

Whatever you do don't ask her again or initiate the call!!
 
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SamePendo

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If I come up to you, and start telling you reasons on why I'm better than you, and everyone else in the world... telling you about my accomplishments, women i've nailed, will you believe me?

Would you expect me to be this person, if you see me with a hot GF, charismatic persona, positive, etc?

My point?

Don't ever let whatever you have to say get in the way of whatever you want to do.

What do I mean?

Don't talk, act. Show her whatever you want to show her, with actions, DJ actions, that is.
 
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tbstimber12

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Yea I definately figured to let her make the next move, but I didn't think I could get off the "friend" ladder if I didn't tell her that I could just be her friend anymore.

Thanks for the advice everyone
 
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PuertoRican_Lover

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Originally posted by tbstimber12
Y.. but I didn't think I could get off the "friend" ladder if I didn't tell her that I could just be her friend anymore.
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You should have asked her out dancing and grab her hand to slow dance and then gone for the kiss!! If she complys then you may have something if she would have turned her head in disgust then you would have known your answer.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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