Advice on my first break up (dump)

[Anpha]

Hello everyone,
I am a long time lurker and old poster. The last time I posted here I was chasing a girl, and when I managed to get her, I fell out of the DJ life. I thought that having a woman completed me, how wrong i was...

I stopped improving myself, heck I stopped improving. I've been gaining weight, spending money, not reading anymore and struggling to balance work, university and a relationship.

These days, I have been thinking of calling it off. Just ending my relationship. Based on these factors:
- Time allocation, I have no time to tend for a relationship while working 40 hrs, and with full time university.
- I have been reluctant to see her these days, I'd rather do things with my friends rather than see her, due to the fact we live 1 hours away, and I'm the only one who can drive.
- We have been together 6 months, and i've seem to lost my attraction for her (is this normal, the honeymoon phase is over?)
- She has met my parents (they insisted), built a relationship with my younger sister, and my parents quite like her (she's from a wealthy family)

I admit I'm a beta and have never broken up with a girl before, but I feel like it's really selfish for me to end this based on superficial reasons which I can change (possibly?) I am afraid my parents will shun me, but on the other hand I don't want to continue this relationship just because of other peoples reasoning and expectations. I just want to live my life for my own, you know? Has anyone been in the same predicament? Will the first one always be the hardest to dump? I know it's quite shallow to end a relationship based on physical attraction, but I feel like the chemistry is gone.

I am 22, have been in 3 relationships, and this relationship has lasted 6 months. She is 22 and this is her first.

Appreciate any advice.

 

[Dingo]

Go to the top of the page.... "No Contact Challenge"

 

[Anpha]

Go to the top of the page.... "No Contact Challenge"

So I should dump her without any explanation and do no contact?

 

[lizardking82]

You wanna end a relationship because you've lost attraction physically to her? Dude, I do not know many other important details, but I tend to think a virgin girl who has been with you for 6 months and has gotten to know a part of your family...is basically not a bad storyline. Maybe the usual advice they would give you here is "next and spin plates", but I would say think about it. Maybe you are just making the "problems" seem a little bigger than they actually are?

 

[El Suave]

Focus on your studies and go out with your friends a little. See how you feel about her afterwards and then make a decision.

 

[TheProspect]

So I should dump her without any explanation and do no contact?

Do what works and what works best for you. Sometimes what's best is what's hardest.

Your life comes first to you, bottom line. If you're always considering other people's feelings, opinions, and expectations, then you're never going to be truly content with your decisions.

That doesn't mean you should go out of your way to intentionally hurt someone it just means you're not going to please everyone, and nor should you.

 

[wifehunter]

Find some extremely fun hobbies to make you forget about her.

Two birds with one stone...

It'll also, at the same time, make you more interesting to other women.

Have fun!!!

 

[Juanto]

She has met my parents (they insisted)

Why would you agree to this just because parents "insisted"?