"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Advice needed - old flame to FB possible?

SecondHalf

Master Don Juan
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Met a woman of high social status about 3 months ago.
We had a very hot ... fling, then backed off as it was quite ... well ... ridiculous (and yep, I AFC'd a little - DJism was just a concept).
She wanted to keep in touch as friends but I NC'ed her for a couple months and saw someone else (also a crash and burn).

Now she's contacted me and I thought ... why not and asked her out to dinner (tonight).
I don't want anything long term from this woman as we both know our lives won't mesh, but the humping was good and I'd like to see if I can at least get that going again (just not the obsessive text messages ...). Great plate for the new china cabinet I'm trying to fill (I admit, three tops).

I've read a lot on this site, but I'm a little unsure of how I should proceed.
I will say that in the time we were dating, I was attentive, entertaining and made her yodel at night. I'm sure she at least misses that part.

Any high level advice?

note: in the worse case, she's a good person to have in your social circle in any capacity so I don't want to piss her off.

TY,

SH
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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SecondHalf

Master Don Juan
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Thanks sam,

Just to make it clear, I responded to her txt while vacationing down south telling her that I was not available on fathers day and why.

Then I let her hang for 9 days and txt'd her back two days ago.

We agreed to catch up and meet for dinner (won't be me paying).

Me being AFCish had something to do with the breakup a while ago, but mostly it was lifestyle. She wants a man who can travel one week out of every month with her. I told her straight up, nope, I can't do that (have my own goals).

I wasn't hurt by this fling.

What would be the purpose to stand her up?
I'm not sure I follow your direction.

SH
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Second Half,
As long as she is Geographically,thematically or work-wise not too close for comfort.....Then FB it is....Keeping them on the line is the difficult part.
 

SecondHalf

Master Don Juan
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Success!

That worked well.
Played it honest (well, mostly :)

Told her that my son has two girlfriends (well, he likes two girls), and if he was older I would teach him all of my evil ways.

Talked about what I know about behaviorist theories and that life long love is a lifestyle encouraged by the church and sensationalized by Hollywood.
Who would have thought my AFC studies searching for hope would serve me in such a fashion.

She invited me out of state to see a sports event that she has expensive tickets for next month.

I'll sleep well tonight!
 
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