"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Advice needed - old flame to FB possible?

SecondHalf

Master Don Juan
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Met a woman of high social status about 3 months ago.
We had a very hot ... fling, then backed off as it was quite ... well ... ridiculous (and yep, I AFC'd a little - DJism was just a concept).
She wanted to keep in touch as friends but I NC'ed her for a couple months and saw someone else (also a crash and burn).

Now she's contacted me and I thought ... why not and asked her out to dinner (tonight).
I don't want anything long term from this woman as we both know our lives won't mesh, but the humping was good and I'd like to see if I can at least get that going again (just not the obsessive text messages ...). Great plate for the new china cabinet I'm trying to fill (I admit, three tops).

I've read a lot on this site, but I'm a little unsure of how I should proceed.
I will say that in the time we were dating, I was attentive, entertaining and made her yodel at night. I'm sure she at least misses that part.

Any high level advice?

note: in the worse case, she's a good person to have in your social circle in any capacity so I don't want to piss her off.

TY,

SH
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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SecondHalf

Master Don Juan
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Thanks sam,

Just to make it clear, I responded to her txt while vacationing down south telling her that I was not available on fathers day and why.

Then I let her hang for 9 days and txt'd her back two days ago.

We agreed to catch up and meet for dinner (won't be me paying).

Me being AFCish had something to do with the breakup a while ago, but mostly it was lifestyle. She wants a man who can travel one week out of every month with her. I told her straight up, nope, I can't do that (have my own goals).

I wasn't hurt by this fling.

What would be the purpose to stand her up?
I'm not sure I follow your direction.

SH
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Second Half,
As long as she is Geographically,thematically or work-wise not too close for comfort.....Then FB it is....Keeping them on the line is the difficult part.
 

SecondHalf

Master Don Juan
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Success!

That worked well.
Played it honest (well, mostly :)

Told her that my son has two girlfriends (well, he likes two girls), and if he was older I would teach him all of my evil ways.

Talked about what I know about behaviorist theories and that life long love is a lifestyle encouraged by the church and sensationalized by Hollywood.
Who would have thought my AFC studies searching for hope would serve me in such a fashion.

She invited me out of state to see a sports event that she has expensive tickets for next month.

I'll sleep well tonight!
 
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