"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Activities for learning leadership skills beyond relationships

jhonny9546

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What activities and real-life experiences have given you the ability to be in control, demonstrate leadership, and lead others?

Some examples include being a reliable guide that others depend on for trips or nights out, being validated, and having others ask for permission when they are unsure about something.

Maybe it could involve being a coach or a teacher of something. I'm interested in hearing about your experiences.

ps: The leadership thing learned "outside" your LTR or Marriage, will improve your skills inside of it, and any other Relationship
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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DarwinTaurus

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Nearly ten years ago, I was summoned to be on a jury. I was actually chosen to sit on two trials. The first one was a bit of an eye opener, as it was a new experience for me.

When I was selected as a jury member on the second trial, another member of the jury was also from the first trial, and I honestly thought he was a bit of a moron. So, the first time we were all in the Jury Room, and started to get to know each other, I took charge, and said I was willing to be Jury Foreman, which was accepted by the rest of the group. I was well accustomed to attending meetings in a business setting, and had acted as Chairman a number of times, so was willing to take that skill and use it in the Jury setting. The main reason was I knew I had the capability to keep discussion flowing smoothly and freely, without everyone interrupting each other.

I know my example isn't something you can proactively choose, however, my main point is when you are in a situation where you think you can take charge and make a difference... well go for it. Sometimes the only way to learn leadership skills, is to throw yourself into it. Try, and learn as you go, and treat every mistake as a learning opportunity.
 

jhonny9546

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I know my example isn't something you can proactively choose, however, my main point is when you are in a situation where you think you can take charge and make a difference... well go for it. Sometimes the only way to learn leadership skills, is to throw yourself into it. Try, and learn as you go, and treat every mistake as a learning opportunity.
Exposure is everything.


I want this message to be read by everyone in this forum because it addresses the main source of disagreements and misunderstandings many of us have: the correct way to behave when someone disrespects us, or when we need to assert ourselves.

You see, it's really subtle, but doing it correctly makes a huge difference.
Depending on how you handle this situation, you will come across as either a "pissed off" beta or an "assertive" alpha. I know it's not easy, as there are many approaches and the topic is quite fragmented. So, one way to gauge if we've done it correctly is by observing the reactions of the person we're interacting with. I was referring to Rosenberg's "Nonviolent Communication" as the default method, but it seems that a different approach might be needed here.

We need concrete examples, voice recordings, or better yet, videos to properly understand how to do the most important things that will earn us respect in life: setting boundaries when necessary, or making others aware that they have crossed the line by warning them cautiously.

People are not so lucky to have this skill at their fullest potential yet, or they haven't practice it at all
 

eli77

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Comes in handy take it from someone who had a fear of public speaking:)
 

DarwinTaurus

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Comes in handy take it from someone who had a fear of public speaking:)
When I worked at the head office of Coles Myer, one of the largest retail conglomerates in Australia, there was an "Effective Speaking Club" that met once a week or so, during lunchtime. This was supported by management, although the club was quite small, perhaps a couple of dozen people. I too had a fear of public speaking, and I would still get nervous if I had to. Like my previous post, this was another case of being proactive, even if you feel uncomfortable.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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jhonny9546

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To add to the role of leadership, given that workplace or romantic relationship, or just your life in general, wikipedia has some great infos about the difference btw "transational" and "transformative" leadership.

Many of the post here refer that using a transational approach will get better for relationship with women.
While transformative is what should be used instead, if you aim to "bigger" things in life.


Could you relate?
 

Travel memoir21

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I'm thinking of coaching little league kids basketball coach sometime or maybe volunteer. That would be a great way to start learning some basic leadership skills by coaching a few kids.
 

Divorced w 3

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What activities and real-life experiences have given you the ability to be in control, demonstrate leadership, and lead others?

Some examples include being a reliable guide that others depend on for trips or nights out, being validated, and having others ask for permission when they are unsure about something.

Maybe it could involve being a coach or a teacher of something. I'm interested in hearing about your experiences.

ps: The leadership thing learned "outside" your LTR or Marriage, will improve your skills inside of it, and any other Relationship
Working in a first class, world caliber organization and watching, learning and humbling one’s self
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

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