"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Activities for learning leadership skills beyond relationships

jhonny9546

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What activities and real-life experiences have given you the ability to be in control, demonstrate leadership, and lead others?

Some examples include being a reliable guide that others depend on for trips or nights out, being validated, and having others ask for permission when they are unsure about something.

Maybe it could involve being a coach or a teacher of something. I'm interested in hearing about your experiences.

ps: The leadership thing learned "outside" your LTR or Marriage, will improve your skills inside of it, and any other Relationship
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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DarwinTaurus

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Nearly ten years ago, I was summoned to be on a jury. I was actually chosen to sit on two trials. The first one was a bit of an eye opener, as it was a new experience for me.

When I was selected as a jury member on the second trial, another member of the jury was also from the first trial, and I honestly thought he was a bit of a moron. So, the first time we were all in the Jury Room, and started to get to know each other, I took charge, and said I was willing to be Jury Foreman, which was accepted by the rest of the group. I was well accustomed to attending meetings in a business setting, and had acted as Chairman a number of times, so was willing to take that skill and use it in the Jury setting. The main reason was I knew I had the capability to keep discussion flowing smoothly and freely, without everyone interrupting each other.

I know my example isn't something you can proactively choose, however, my main point is when you are in a situation where you think you can take charge and make a difference... well go for it. Sometimes the only way to learn leadership skills, is to throw yourself into it. Try, and learn as you go, and treat every mistake as a learning opportunity.
 

jhonny9546

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I know my example isn't something you can proactively choose, however, my main point is when you are in a situation where you think you can take charge and make a difference... well go for it. Sometimes the only way to learn leadership skills, is to throw yourself into it. Try, and learn as you go, and treat every mistake as a learning opportunity.
Exposure is everything.


I want this message to be read by everyone in this forum because it addresses the main source of disagreements and misunderstandings many of us have: the correct way to behave when someone disrespects us, or when we need to assert ourselves.

You see, it's really subtle, but doing it correctly makes a huge difference.
Depending on how you handle this situation, you will come across as either a "pissed off" beta or an "assertive" alpha. I know it's not easy, as there are many approaches and the topic is quite fragmented. So, one way to gauge if we've done it correctly is by observing the reactions of the person we're interacting with. I was referring to Rosenberg's "Nonviolent Communication" as the default method, but it seems that a different approach might be needed here.

We need concrete examples, voice recordings, or better yet, videos to properly understand how to do the most important things that will earn us respect in life: setting boundaries when necessary, or making others aware that they have crossed the line by warning them cautiously.

People are not so lucky to have this skill at their fullest potential yet, or they haven't practice it at all
 

eli77

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Comes in handy take it from someone who had a fear of public speaking:)
 

DarwinTaurus

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Comes in handy take it from someone who had a fear of public speaking:)
When I worked at the head office of Coles Myer, one of the largest retail conglomerates in Australia, there was an "Effective Speaking Club" that met once a week or so, during lunchtime. This was supported by management, although the club was quite small, perhaps a couple of dozen people. I too had a fear of public speaking, and I would still get nervous if I had to. Like my previous post, this was another case of being proactive, even if you feel uncomfortable.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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jhonny9546

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To add to the role of leadership, given that workplace or romantic relationship, or just your life in general, wikipedia has some great infos about the difference btw "transational" and "transformative" leadership.

Many of the post here refer that using a transational approach will get better for relationship with women.
While transformative is what should be used instead, if you aim to "bigger" things in life.


Could you relate?
 

Travel memoir21

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I'm thinking of coaching little league kids basketball coach sometime or maybe volunteer. That would be a great way to start learning some basic leadership skills by coaching a few kids.
 

Divorced w 3

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What activities and real-life experiences have given you the ability to be in control, demonstrate leadership, and lead others?

Some examples include being a reliable guide that others depend on for trips or nights out, being validated, and having others ask for permission when they are unsure about something.

Maybe it could involve being a coach or a teacher of something. I'm interested in hearing about your experiences.

ps: The leadership thing learned "outside" your LTR or Marriage, will improve your skills inside of it, and any other Relationship
Working in a first class, world caliber organization and watching, learning and humbling one’s self
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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