"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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sicsec

Don Juan
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Why does it seem when you text a girl something that requires an action on her part like coming to my place or a night out they get all vague and distant or they blow you off? Is it because you are putting them on the spot or they don't want to seem to available or sluttish? Getting quality females to respond in a timely fashion that benefts me is some hard business many times.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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SamTheHobit

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so fas my flake rate is a 100% , i don't know what to do.
 

bigneil

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If I texted my girl and said "come over right now" she'd flake too.

So I wait until she texts me.
 

Jariel

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I'd say it depends how much rapport you've built with them. I usually do a lot of flirting and rapport building before I ask a girl out, I'll even hold out until they ask me some times.

But if I asked any of these girls out after 3 or 4 texts I expect they'd flake on me too. I find girls like time to suss a guy out and feel comfortable before making any big moves.
 

Jariel

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I'd say it depends how much rapport you've built with them. I usually do a lot of flirting and rapport building before I ask a girl out, I'll even hold out until they ask me some times.

But if I asked any of these girls out after 3 or 4 texts I expect they'd flake on me too. I find girls like time to suss a guy out and feel comfortable before making any big moves.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Jariel

Master Don Juan
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I'd say it depends how much rapport you've built with them. I usually do a lot of flirting and rapport building before I ask a girl out, I'll even hold out until they ask me some times.

But if I asked any of these girls out after 3 or 4 texts I expect they'd flake on me too. I find girls like time to suss a guy out and feel comfortable before making any big moves.
 

Konada

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Jariel said:
I'd say it depends how much rapport you've built with them. I usually do a lot of flirting and rapport building before I ask a girl out, I'll even hold out until they ask me some times.

But if I asked any of these girls out after 3 or 4 texts I expect they'd flake on me too. I find girls like time to suss a guy out and feel comfortable before making any big moves.
Always had problems with girls flaking. Does this also apply to 2nd dates or after she flakes on the first date as well?
 

PapiChulo

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Canada, eh?
Because you are "pushing" and it backfires at you. If you wanna reduce the flakes dramatically you have to make her reach out for it (a date or an action of some sort), just as Jariel does. I know it does not seem like it, but for a modern female you have to provide options because they are extremely sensitive to 'pressure' you put on them.
 

PapiChulo

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Canada, eh?
Because you are "pushing" and it backfires at you. If you wanna reduce the flakes dramatically you have to make her reach out for it (a date or an action of some sort), just as Jariel does. I know it does not seem like it, but for a modern female you have to provide options because they are extremely sensitive to 'pressure' you put on them.
 
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