You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
i know how women operate, i know what they want, i know what they like (generally speaking of course).[/B]
Very nicely put, Jariel. That process of creating emotional and psychological attraction is usually how a girl can become "attached" to a guy she first meets online, for example. Being mysterious allows the person to somewhat idealize you before they see your true colors.Originally posted by Jariel
Physical attraction is something you find unless you are willing to change yourself to become attractive to a particular person or people, and that's still not a guarantee.
Emotional and psychological attraction, however, is always created and usually in the mind of the beholder. This is why mystery is important during the initial stages of a relationship as it allows her to fill in the blanks with her own ideals and qualities.
To establish emotional and psychological attraction, your best strategy is to appeal to a woman's imagination and let her create the attraction.
This emphasises why it's so important to let a woman do most of the talking. She will think that she is connecting with you, when she is really connecting with her ideal perception of you.