When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
i know how women operate, i know what they want, i know what they like (generally speaking of course).[/B]
Very nicely put, Jariel. That process of creating emotional and psychological attraction is usually how a girl can become "attached" to a guy she first meets online, for example. Being mysterious allows the person to somewhat idealize you before they see your true colors.Originally posted by Jariel
Physical attraction is something you find unless you are willing to change yourself to become attractive to a particular person or people, and that's still not a guarantee.
Emotional and psychological attraction, however, is always created and usually in the mind of the beholder. This is why mystery is important during the initial stages of a relationship as it allows her to fill in the blanks with her own ideals and qualities.
To establish emotional and psychological attraction, your best strategy is to appeal to a woman's imagination and let her create the attraction.
This emphasises why it's so important to let a woman do most of the talking. She will think that she is connecting with you, when she is really connecting with her ideal perception of you.