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A Relationship With Someone Below Your Standards?

momentomori

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I was reading the book "Dont Trust Your Gut: Better Living Through Data" and the author mentioned what we look for in a partner (e.g. height for females and good looks for either gender) have literally no correlation with happiness when in a relationship with another person.

I've discontinued interactions with girls because I perceived them as physically below my standards, despite the fact that I enjoyed their company. I then began to think how unfortunate it was that I didn't pursue something further with them just because I was being nitpicky over something that ultimately doesn't matter and I would probably get over anyway.

I'm curious, has anyone gotten into a relationship with a girl who was below your usual standard of attractiveness? Not something hideous or ugly though, I'm not quite ready to entertain something like that.
 

devilkingx2

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I've found that although your biological urge is to treat hot girls as special, most of the time they're boring or mean. Same as with ugly or average girls, except you care a lot more about the hot ones.

It's like how there's average or ugly crazy girls but nobody gets into relationships with them because you can easily eject at the first few red flags.
 

BillyPilgrim

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First of all, never trust anyone who says "don't trust your gut".

How much you enjoy their company is the ultimate barometer, but if they are indeed below you say - 1.5 points or so - in physical attractiveness, there's a >90% chance she will have insecurity issues that will impact the relationship. Either use these girls for short term or be prepared to do a lot of coddling.
 
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evan12

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I'm curious, has anyone gotten into a relationship with a girl who was below your usual standard of attractiveness? Not something hideous or ugly though, I'm not quite ready to entertain something like that.
I was in such situation, to be honest my ego make me jealous from other men who had attractive girls ,also I felt I need constantly to prove I can also get a beautiful one, so I end up breaking up .
 

Tilex

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A good looking chick with no kids is my standards.
A good looking chick with kids is below my standards.
Yes, I have been in relationships with these types of women before.
But usually never works out in the long run.

However, chicks that are below my standards of attractiveness are typically ugly from the inside & out.
Insecure women always raise the most red flags.
Their personality matches with their appearance.
 

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Plinco

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I was reading the book "Dont Trust Your Gut: Better Living Through Data" and the author mentioned what we look for in a partner (e.g. height for females and good looks for either gender) have literally no correlation with happiness when in a relationship with another person.

I've discontinued interactions with girls because I perceived them as physically below my standards, despite the fact that I enjoyed their company. I then began to think how unfortunate it was that I didn't pursue something further with them just because I was being nitpicky over something that ultimately doesn't matter and I would probably get over anyway.

I'm curious, has anyone gotten into a relationship with a girl who was below your usual standard of attractiveness? Not something hideous or ugly though, I'm not quite ready to entertain something like that.
Remember this: Respect is more important than sex. At the end of the day you have to respect yourself for what you do, that's essential if you want to be happy.

Hot girls are horrible in bed.
Maybe those hot girls don't like you enough.
 

CoandaEffect

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I think men, especially young men, put way too much emphasis on looks. Average looking chicks tend to be way more fun to be with than the hot ones.

In my recent session of OLD I dated a bunch of women, some were very hot, some were very plain. I was very open minded and dated them all as much as I could. The one that grew on me was very plain looking, most men would not find her attractive, although she has a nice slim body that she takes care of. She is very cooperative, does not play silly games and is fun to be with.

We have been together for about three months and things are going well, we are making plans for things we’d like to do next year. In my eyes, as I have grown to know her, she has grown more physically attractive to me. To me she has become a really beautiful women.

There is way more to a successful relationship than what she looks like.
 

SmoothSmooth

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girls dont compromise on their standards (until they hit the wall) so why should men?
 

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Mike32ct

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I tried it twice. They (preemptively) dumped me both times. They can sense your lukewarm interest, and it turns them off.

I liked them on a personal level and an intellectual level, but I was only marginally attracted physically. I took things very slowly physically because I wasn't really looking forward to F-ing them (even despite a long dry spell). They sensed this and (understandably) broke up with me without giving a reason.

TLDR: You obviously don't have to have sex on the first date. But you should have at least enough attraction to her where you WOULD if the opportunity presented itself. In other words, she still has to feel wanted.
 
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Dr.Suave

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I would rather have an HB6+ virgin who passes the boner test and we have similar interests with than an HB8+ who is not a virgin and dont have similar interest to mine but thats just me.
 

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IKO69

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It would be a real disappointment nowadays to ask for a Playstation 5 and get an Atari instead.

Aim high. The only people who say-do what the author of the book said are people who are already beaten before the race has even started. Contrary to popular opinion, women "below" your 'smv' won't always be the best for you, many will be nasty, bitter, manipulative and make your life hell. Conversely there are many women above your smv that will be very sweet and kind, all around great people. What I am saying is dating down isn't the silver bullet - you have to take each person individually.

People who are right mentally feel they deserve the best, if not the best then something that is at least their equal, not below. You know what mediocrity brings? A lot of regret in time.
 

Bigpapa

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I'm curious, has anyone gotten into a relationship with a girl who was below your usual standard of attractiveness? Not something hideous or ugly though, I'm not quite ready to entertain something like that.
you will have ugly children , and if you have boys you will convict them to something worst that you experienced
 

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momentomori

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I think men, especially young men, put way too much emphasis on looks. Average looking chicks tend to be way more fun to be with than the hot ones.

In my recent session of OLD I dated a bunch of women, some were very hot, some were very plain. I was very open minded and dated them all as much as I could. The one that grew on me was very plain looking, most men would not find her attractive, although she has a nice slim body that she takes care of. She is very cooperative, does not play silly games and is fun to be with.

We have been together for about three months and things are going well, we are making plans for things we’d like to do next year. In my eyes, as I have grown to know her, she has grown more physically attractive to me. To me she has become a really beautiful women.

There is way more to a successful relationship than what she looks like.
Yes, I could see this being the case. I remember I cold-approached a chick who was cross-eyed, looked like a stoner, and was not my type at all, but she was really sweet and nice and I was instantly into her. She ended up ghosting me, but still, it stood out to me how a chick's personality could override looks.
 

momentomori

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Contrary to popular opinion, women "below" your 'smv' won't always be the best for you, many will be nasty, bitter, manipulative and make your life hell. Conversely there are many women above your smv that will be very sweet and kind, all around great people. What I am saying is dating down isn't the silver bullet - you have to take each person individually.
I wasn't saying a less good-looking chick was automatically going to have a better personality. I was just saying there's no correlation between a girl's looks and how much you enjoy being around her. I've met my fair share of fatty uggos with terrible personalities.
 

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I would rather have an HB6+ virgin who passes the boner test and we have similar interests with than an HB8+ who is not a virgin and dont have similar interest to mine but thats just me.
Same for me. She does not even have to have the same interest, just be in her feminine element instead of denying it.
 
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