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"A drink sounds better than coffee..."

HankHill

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I asked her out for coffee, she says she has some availability this weekend but a drink sounds better than coffee.

I've only had one other woman do this before and I accommodated...but despite what I thought was a good date she ghosted me. So this time my gut says to stick with what I proposed- "Let's do drinks next time! How does 6:30p sound at xyz?".

On the other hand a drink isn't that much more than a latte so it's not really a $ issue. Thoughts?
 

jaymbrs

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I've always asked about getting a drink. But that's because I like to drink. So if she turns it down because she doesn't like drinking, then her and I aren't compatible and I can move on.
 

HankHill

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I always propose coffee for the first date because it's casual, low pressure, low investment etc. I just find it cheesy to counter with drinks when someone invites you for a coffee. I'll stick to my guns, not a big deal if she backs out.
 

zekko

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Maybe she doesn't like coffee that much? I would think most guys would be happy to go out for drinks instead because of the "liquid panty dropper" effect - lowered inhibitions and whatnot.
 

HankHill

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In my 15+ dates in the last 2 months never done middle of the day...and except for one woman none had an issue with coffee. Remember that coffee doesn't mean just coffee, they have other drinks too- cold, decaf etc.

There are a lot of women in OLD who only want to go out with you on one date - and they want you to buy them alcohol. All you'll go home with is may be a goodnight peck. That's why I switched to coffee for the first dates, those who are interested in you rather than themselves will be just fine with coffee or any other venue.
 

HankHill

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No logical reason to choose coffee over drink as a man...

Coffee - jittery, anxious
Drink - warm, loosens inhibitions and anxiety
2nd date+ drinks is no problem. First dates should be low investment.
 

marmel75

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I asked her out for coffee, she says she has some availability this weekend but a drink sounds better than coffee.

I've only had one other woman do this before and I accommodated...but despite what I thought was a good date she ghosted me. So this time my gut says to stick with what I proposed- "Let's do drinks next time! How does 6:30p sound at xyz?".

On the other hand a drink isn't that much more than a latte so it's not really a $ issue. Thoughts?
Why the fvck are you asking them for coffee?? Drinks bro. Drinks.
 

marmel75

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In my 15+ dates in the last 2 months never done middle of the day...and except for one woman none had an issue with coffee. Remember that coffee doesn't mean just coffee, they have other drinks too- cold, decaf etc.

There are a lot of women in OLD who only want to go out with you on one date - and they want you to buy them alcohol. All you'll go home with is may be a goodnight peck. That's why I switched to coffee for the first dates, those who are interested in you rather than themselves will be just fine with coffee or any other venue.
If you are only getting a goodnight peck it doesn't have to do with the alcohol it has to do with your behaviour and vibe in date.
 

HankHill

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So she never responded after I told her let's do drinks next time. Five hrs later I texted, "I just got home and it's hotter than hell out there. That drink doesn't sound too bad after all". Not 5mins later she responds 'today?' coincidence? I think not. This is how a lot of women are in OLD around here i.e. they use you for attention, validation, alcohol, dinners etc.
Just to prove it I'm going to go tonight. I'd be surprised if this goes beyond second date. After a while you just develop a sense when you run into people like that.

Oh and have another first date on Mon, she had no problems with coffee.
 
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Who Dares Win

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I respectfully disagree with the drink guys here, in my opinion a low investment untill proven worth policy is the best one.

Not gonna waste my time and money with a girl who doesnt look solidly interested, also I train MMA and lift weights, drinking is demanding on my physical shape therefore its a gift for special girls only.

A girl getting free alchool and attention out of me without any sure reward? not gonna happen.

Personally what I like the most are casual dates where you text a girl in that moment and you meet with no previous agreement or better yet to know a girl who shows high interest at the bar that same night...dates planned in advance with girls I still dont know well enough are not my favourite.

If a girl rejects my offer cause its not exactly what she wanted, I know her interest was lukewarm so I probably saved time and money.
 

EyeBRollin

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I asked her out for coffee, she says she has some availability this weekend but a drink sounds better than coffee.

I've only had one other woman do this before and I accommodated...but despite what I thought was a good date she ghosted me. So this time my gut says to stick with what I proposed- "Let's do drinks next time! How does 6:30p sound at xyz?".

On the other hand a drink isn't that much more than a latte so it's not really a $ issue. Thoughts?
You are making a huge mistake for nothing.

She just told you she wants a drink instead of coffee. Why are you questioning this? She's telling you exactly what she wants.

"Sure, we can do drinks. <date> <time> work for you?"

That's all you have to say. Don't make this complicated. GET THE DATE!
 
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