"A drink sounds better than coffee..."

[Who Dares Win]

Neither am I. But I've never had a belief that stops me from succeeding so it doesn't. Has it? Im sure it has but I never went into a date believing that will be the case. I always believed they wanted to bang me and that's why they came out that night.

You may not think that limiting self talk hinders you but i can assure you it does many more times than you think in ways that you would never have guessed.

Sometime it was me not to like the girl or change my mind after she said or did something (I once dated a guy from a gipsy camp said a finnish girl who got nexted instantly), so again keeping the investment low till proven worth sounds a good policy to me.

 

[fastlife]

Geez buying a chick one drink is high investment? Are you guys working at Burger King?

I've done both got plenty of SNL from drinks nights. Testing her is when you make her buy the second round.
@fastlife I m genuinely curious - not arguing your obviously a player.

What the heck do you do with chicks at night that doesn't involve buying them a drink or at least somebody buying somebody a drink? A dinner date is going to cost you even more and just about everywhere you go is licensed?

For me it's a matter of principle rather than money--especially at this point. I like going out to nice dinners, doing cool stuff/going to events that cost money; and sometimes I like doing those things with girls. BUT I'm not doing any of those things with a girl I haven't been fvcking for a month or so--and only if she's earned it--and by earn it, I'm talking strictly character-wise, since sex is zero-sum. If anything, a girl is getting more benefit from fvcking me than I am from fvcking her (I know that sounds narcissistic, but that's the frame I operate from & it's what I believe in a subjective sort of way).

These days I don't do anything. I go out; she's out. If she's out, she's probably buying her own drinks; I'm usually one and done. So $10 beer and tip. I don't usually pay cover. If she's a broke college student or whatever I have no qualms about buying her a drink--but only if she doesn't ask or imply that that's a thing and only after she's invested in the interaction by following me to another venue or ditching her friends, etc.

If logistics don't work out for that night, I'll invite her over for a glass of wine. If she's skittish about that and I really, really like her, I might invite her out to split a waffle or to go for a walk near a park or even fastfood from time to time (since I get a kick out of walking in with a hot girl to slummy places lol). That said, I don't really date in the traditional since & my style involves plenty of flaking--but if a girl shows up I know she's showing up for me. And if she doesn't, others will.

 

[ubercat]

So I'm still real curious what does a week with the ladies out and about look like a la @fastlife ?

 

[fastlife]

So I'm still real curious what does a week with the ladies out and about look like a la @fastlife ?

Not quite sure what you're asking. I haven't been hitting the streets hard for a couple months now--too many other, more important things going on & got a little burnt out on girls earlier in the year. I've had a couple girls from the past come into town to revisit old times but haven't been all that proactive in that area of my life recently.

When I was playing the number's game more proactively, things would average out to about one new girl a month & one or two that would swing by the apartment once or twice a week. But that's the average. Some months I'd have dry spells; others I'd have 3 or 4 one night stands. About once or twice a year I'd find a girl I liked enough to go out with, with the understanding that I'd be seeing other girls. Some of these were just fun, others were genuinely impressive girls who AFAIK would've made good long-term partners if that was my thing (at this point, I don't think it is).

Nothing overly crazy--but about right for me. If anything, I went a little bit harder than I should've have toward the end; it's easy to get caught up in doing things because you can instead of doing things because you want to. But I learned a ton about myself in the process & I don't think it was wasted time; my priorities just shifted & I feel like I did everything in that area I set out to do. I'm sure I'll get back into the game at some point.

But it basically boils down to: Find venues where the kind of girls you like frequent. Go there. You see a girl you like, talk to her. Learn what kind of things get the kind of interactions/vibe you like. Repeat those things. Some girls like you, some girls don't. Enjoy the girls that like you. I remember when the process seemed a lot more complicated, but most of that is just illusion & rationalization & insecurity.

 

[ubercat]

Yep that answers it. So basically yr already in a bar. So getting back to Shylock s original question hardly any point offering them a coffee.

 

[fastlife]

Yep that answers it. So basically yr already in a bar. So getting back to Shylock s original question hardly any point offering them a coffee.

Depends on what city you're in. I've pulled girls from cafes--just the mathematical probability of find them there is pretty slim most places.

As far as taking girls there as a date, I've done that a handful of times a couple years ago. Never lead to anything substantial past that, though it could if your game's tight enough. Just not a very sexual environment and not sure you'd be doing yourself any favors taking a girl there if you can just invite her over for wine instead.

 

[ubercat]

I ve seen a few guys here say they cold approach in cafes successfully but I m sceptical because they never give details. And when I go to cafes all the ladies are hoovering down cakes while they've got their noses in their phones. Seems like a tough set to open.

 

[fastlife]

I ve seen a few guys here say they cold approach in cafes successfully but I m sceptical because they never give details. And when I go to cafes all the ladies are hoovering down cakes while they've got their noses in their phones. Seems like a tough set to open.

Ideally, you can get a little eye contact, first. Ideally, she's by herself. But you basically just sit next to her & strike up convo. "Oh my god. Such a dork, doing homework on a beautiful day like today. Mind if I distract you for a second?" Either she opens or doesn't, in which case you were just leaving anyway. But girls want to meet cool guys. No matter what else they're doing, they are open to meeting a cool guy--worst case scenario she gets a funny story to display her value to her friends about the guy she who approached her when she was grabbing coffee between class.

A while ago I lived a couple blocks away from a cool little coffee shop that a lot of students at the local college went to after class. From there it was just meet, talk for a while, invite for glass of wine, walking distance, daytime, pretty easy. Was never my bread and butter tho--way easier to get a reputation in a place like that than in a crowed venue with higher turnover. Plus daytime logistics were usually a little more hairy for me & sometimes you just want coffee lol.

 

[ubercat]

We re very different age brackets. By 30s - 40s they've got a lot of baggage and their b1tch Shields are titanium class.

I have pulled the odd random from day game but it's situational. I'm afraid I don't have the cojones for cold approach anymore.

Anyway it's a long weekend and the Weeknd s started the same way it does every time with the girlfriend giving me a bj. So not a lot to complain about here.

I'm just always interested in learning different ways of skinning the cat.

Only thing I am whinging about is I'm injured from tennis last night so pretty slow. But I play in the A grade and won my match against some guy who was in his 20s and that got the team home so I call that acceptable losses

 

[davidcarr]

Yes, and if she's not dtf same night, (most women won't need alcohol to want to fu*ck you, they already made up their mind about it bf they even arrived to meet you ) she goes home, and when her head gets clear, she forgets about this attraction, and lose interest in you if the attraction wasn't genuine, but rather created by the alcohol..

I've only read a few of your posts and it's 100% you're a virgin and a keyboard jockey. Yet, you act like an expert on something you know nothing about.