"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
A complicated position, need some experienced advice...
- Thread starter mikehelms
- Start date
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
personally, i would shoot her a text saying something along the lines of, "whoops, missed your drunk texts last night lol". so that it isn't too obvious you are turning up your game.
it is obvious that you are gonna get these eventually, so i wouldn't make it so blatant that you are "turning on your game" so to speak.
another angle could be just to invite her out to a social gathering with mutual friends, as opposed to a place to lay her. don't be attached to the outcome, and just have fun. if she's diggin you, she'll give you signs.
i would hold out in contacting her, especially if you always see each other at certain hangouts. give it some more time and chat her up a little when you see her.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
As far as dealing with her, and guitar dude (who again, I am friendly with)
Thanks guys.
Iwas thinking doing flirty stuff like grabbing her ass when no one is paying attention, then just going back to what I was doing... yeah?
Thing is, whenever we're both on facebook she ALWAYS chats me up within minutes of seeing me online and wants to talk forever, until I inevitably cut it short because I'm busy. If I was in the complete friend zone I wouldn't see why she's want to talk to me nonstop, but I could be way off base here. Who knows. She's def. still into the other guy and I just have to deal with that, and I don't really know how other than pretending that I don't notice / it doesn't faze me and just act the same around her.
jophil28
Master Don Juan
Mikley, mikey mikey, a lot of women have no scruples in their relationships with men. To them, the end justifies the means. And the end in this case is this -mikehelms said:Thing is, whenever we're both on facebook she ALWAYS chats me up within minutes of seeing me online and wants to talk forever, until I inevitably cut it short because I'm busy. If I was in the complete friend zone I wouldn't see why she's want to talk to me nonstop, but I could be way off base here.
She is using you to fill the vacant parts that are left in her emotional life by her detached, guitar whiz, bada$$ B/f. To her, this is quite OK , even though you can bet her B/f does not know about it.
Why do you think that woman recruit 'orbiters' ?
The answer to that is exactly why she recruited you.
Abandon this chase man. IT isn't going to happen for you...You are starting to come off like some soppy lovesick teenage chick who is hot for some zitty brat who plays in a garage band.
Take up the saxophone and get your own groupies..
Just saying.
jophil28
Master Don Juan
Geez, Drunk texting hardly equates to high INTEREST level .Thats really a stretch.mikehelms said:Talked to her for a few mins and took off to another bar. Woke up today to 2 drunken texts from her, just randomness. "Heeeyyy" and "Yooooohooo"
Can't be bad, obviously I'm on her mind it seems. And obviously I didn't reply.
Secondly , her articulation is primitive. I can imagine a farmhand yelling out those utterances to some milk cows. That are not what I would call affectionate.
Thirdly, how do you conclude that a drunken text is a sure indication of her "having you on her mind " ?
You are trying to make sense out of nonsense.
Post back when she is smiling and unzipping in front of you at your house.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
TheLadiesMan
Master Don Juan
..and vocalists are too, they can almost be worse sometimes.
Always remember.. if she ain't showing any class, put it in her a$$.