"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
A complicated position, need some experienced advice...
- Thread starter mikehelms
- Start date
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
personally, i would shoot her a text saying something along the lines of, "whoops, missed your drunk texts last night lol". so that it isn't too obvious you are turning up your game.
it is obvious that you are gonna get these eventually, so i wouldn't make it so blatant that you are "turning on your game" so to speak.
another angle could be just to invite her out to a social gathering with mutual friends, as opposed to a place to lay her. don't be attached to the outcome, and just have fun. if she's diggin you, she'll give you signs.
i would hold out in contacting her, especially if you always see each other at certain hangouts. give it some more time and chat her up a little when you see her.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
As far as dealing with her, and guitar dude (who again, I am friendly with)
Thanks guys.
Iwas thinking doing flirty stuff like grabbing her ass when no one is paying attention, then just going back to what I was doing... yeah?
Thing is, whenever we're both on facebook she ALWAYS chats me up within minutes of seeing me online and wants to talk forever, until I inevitably cut it short because I'm busy. If I was in the complete friend zone I wouldn't see why she's want to talk to me nonstop, but I could be way off base here. Who knows. She's def. still into the other guy and I just have to deal with that, and I don't really know how other than pretending that I don't notice / it doesn't faze me and just act the same around her.
jophil28
Master Don Juan
Mikley, mikey mikey, a lot of women have no scruples in their relationships with men. To them, the end justifies the means. And the end in this case is this -mikehelms said:Thing is, whenever we're both on facebook she ALWAYS chats me up within minutes of seeing me online and wants to talk forever, until I inevitably cut it short because I'm busy. If I was in the complete friend zone I wouldn't see why she's want to talk to me nonstop, but I could be way off base here.
She is using you to fill the vacant parts that are left in her emotional life by her detached, guitar whiz, bada$$ B/f. To her, this is quite OK , even though you can bet her B/f does not know about it.
Why do you think that woman recruit 'orbiters' ?
The answer to that is exactly why she recruited you.
Abandon this chase man. IT isn't going to happen for you...You are starting to come off like some soppy lovesick teenage chick who is hot for some zitty brat who plays in a garage band.
Take up the saxophone and get your own groupies..
Just saying.
jophil28
Master Don Juan
Geez, Drunk texting hardly equates to high INTEREST level .Thats really a stretch.mikehelms said:Talked to her for a few mins and took off to another bar. Woke up today to 2 drunken texts from her, just randomness. "Heeeyyy" and "Yooooohooo"
Can't be bad, obviously I'm on her mind it seems. And obviously I didn't reply.
Secondly , her articulation is primitive. I can imagine a farmhand yelling out those utterances to some milk cows. That are not what I would call affectionate.
Thirdly, how do you conclude that a drunken text is a sure indication of her "having you on her mind " ?
You are trying to make sense out of nonsense.
Post back when she is smiling and unzipping in front of you at your house.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
TheLadiesMan
Master Don Juan
..and vocalists are too, they can almost be worse sometimes.
Always remember.. if she ain't showing any class, put it in her a$$.