"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
5 date in been at her house till 2am but only smooched on the sofa how to escalate?
- Thread starter Jamie12345
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
MoreThanSmooth
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2017
- Messages
- 1,019
- Reaction score
- 791
- Age
- 35
If she's making out with you, she clearly finds you physically attractive. That's not something people you're platonic with do.
You should never go in super heavy too fast for her like a creep, but at the same time sitting around getting blue balled night after night like that is showing a willingness to get pushed around. A weakness. She probably enjoys the control she has over you here.
Next time you're making out, I'd get her close and then say something like "You're really f***ing sexy." Then you can kiss her again and let your hands wander a bit. If she stops you then, I'd stop all the kissing and cuddling, sit up and say "You're not into this?" If she says she is, you can say "But you don't want us to get physical?" and that will make her give you a definitive answer. If she says she's not into it full stop, tell her you had a good evening and leave there and then. Don't contact her until she messages you. She'll realise you're not just her plaything, and have to reflect on her behaviour.
You can watch box sets alone if you want to! Inviting you round late, alone, to snuggle and make out on a sofa over and over again is a natural precursor to sex. If she doesn't want to get physical she should stop inviting you over and go on a coffee date in public or something instead. It's not fair on you, and if you put up with it you're setting yourself up to get treated like a eunuch.
he keeps going bk to her mate, what he needs to do is totally withdraw attention, she thinks hes her little toy, no sex and shes talking about him meeting the parents lol............shes got plans for him thats for sure
She knows the game for sure. Her interest is sub 50% but she doesn't want to be alone so she is using OP to fill time.
My bet is this is the only girl OP is seeing and she knows it. He is probably the only guy she is seeing and her intetest in him sexually isnt there. She is waiting for the next guy to come and when he does OP will get ghosted.
As marmel said. Start seeing other women. Withdraw most attention you are giving her.
Your attention should be focused on women with high interest.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Vantagepoint34
Master Don Juan
marmel75
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 4, 2012
- Messages
- 7,175
- Reaction score
- 5,571
Huh?
Vantagepoint34
Master Don Juan
OP brought up this girl was engaged before he met her. There's no need to rush and no time wasted in the bedroom. I also brought up she can hold out as long as SHE is comfortable. There's just nothing he can do. She comes with baggage or damaged goods. Looks like a red flag if you get me....
marmel75
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 4, 2012
- Messages
- 7,175
- Reaction score
- 5,571
His job isnt to stick around for 6 months following your advice til she is "comfortable".
So let me get this straight...you are cool with being her gay friend for 6 months while some dude she met 40 minutes ago in a club has her panties down around her ankles in the bathroom banging her out?
You are right about nothing he can do other than escalate and walk away if she continues this behaviour. She isnt going celibate...she has probably already banged aomeone else, just not him.
MoreThanSmooth
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2017
- Messages
- 1,019
- Reaction score
- 791
- Age
- 35
Hehe, check out his new thread Marmel. He got lucky
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Vantagepoint34
Master Don Juan
Marmel it's the dating period. It's always standard 6 months before you make her your girlfriend. And from what he says she's not being flaky or rushing territory. He stood his ground and scored. So Yea... It's not a always a sign she will sleep with someone else.
Let's be clear rushing into the relationship is a red flag
marmel75
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 4, 2012
- Messages
- 7,175
- Reaction score
- 5,571
Its never a mans job to seek a relationship, its a mans job to seek sex. Stop advocating he play a feminine role in the relationship.
_sideways_
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 31, 2013
- Messages
- 1,919
- Reaction score
- 218
I was going to say the same. Unless the dude can offer fun and excitement....nah, that would just make a fun friendship....some dudes are not seen as sexual beings to some females. Make her a wing woman...